Oppressmas shopping list

Standard

Here are a few gift suggestions for the season, just in case you need inspiration.

* For Americans: Fourth Amendment underwear. It’s printed in metallic ink so it will show up in a backscatter machine image.

* The Union of Superlative Heroes (explanation)

* Minecraft Alpha — The beta version hasn’t come out yet, but the video makes it look like a roller coaster building game. It isn’t.

* SMILE by Raina Telgemeier

* A year’s worth of Mozy or upgraded Dropbox.

* HOGFATHER, the miniseries.

* For people with mobility issues who have trouble putting on socks: The Sock Aid.

* Young Wizards Handbook: How to Trap A Zombie, Track A Vampire by Rotruck, A.R.

* Game of Cages and Child of Fire. Why not?

* The USB typewriter, perfect for old-time writers who don’t know what to do with the iPad their grandkids gave them.

* Sudoku toilet paper.

* Beautiful food.

Because I’m a complete bastard…

Standard

I just emailed this picture to a former co-worker, declaring it’s my new office dress code.

IMG_8149

Facebook users, you may have to click through.

I wish umbrella hats were more acceptable, fashion-wise. They’re extraordinarily practical.

The turkey-and-stuffing sandwich diet: or, how I lost 18 lbs over the Thanksgiving holiday

Standard

Actually, there’s no reason in the world for me to have put “how” in the subject header, because I have no idea how it happened. My random snacks have been largely meat-based–is this a pseudo-Atkins? I’ve just returned to the gym, but only three times a week and not last week because of the holiday and the flight to L.A. for the book trailer. Or maybe it was the three-day (near-)fast of my L.A. trip itself.

Then again, maybe it’s because I quit my day job and my body is flushing out all that artery-clogging sorrow.

More likely, despite being at 280+ for so long, my body was never comfortable there and has seized on what little activity I’m giving it to shed some unwanted me. I should never have let my various pains drive me to a sedentary life; instead of easing the strain on my legs and back, it only made them worse.

I still hurt, of course–that’s never going to stop–but it’s not as bad as it was. Also, I’m less concerned with the actual number on the scale (which is why I only get on it once a month or so) than with how I feel. I feel better. And thank Pikachu for that.

Next project for me: The Cranberry Diet: How to slim down while feasting like a glutton! I look forward to the free-publicity I’ll get from health expert denouncing me as a huckster and moron.

Who doesn’t love the TSA?

Standard

Well, most people at the moment. My experience passing through on my recent book trailer jaunt was fine, but others have had painful and humiliating searches or been faced with the petty indignities of low-level bureaucrats anxious to exercise their power.

The media mostly brushes off these complaints. A large number of the public doesn’t care or is contemptuous of people’s complaints–one NPR caller responded to a question about backscatter machines by saying “Go to the gym and give them something worth looking at.” And the government has no plans to stop.

It’s because we, as a nation, expect politicians to protect us from terrorism.

When the guy who torched his underwear on the plane was arrested, the media and the public was boiling over with questions about how he got through security, who let this happen, what precautions were in place? Can the Obama administration protect us? Geo. Bush never allowed a terrorist attack on U.S. soil (except for that one)

Truth is, no politician is going to care about complaints of intrusive searches when the alternative (in their minds, at least) is an election season attack of being “soft on terror.” No politician wants to face those questions.

Randomness for 11/27

Standard

1) The 30 most amazingly terrible VHS boxes of all time. Like Chris Sims, the only one of these I’ve seen is HAWK THE SLAYER, and my god it was awful. Still, I’d think anyone could take two of these boxes and come up with a pretty awesome story idea.

2) And as a palate-cleanser, check this huge, beautiful artwork.

3) Reasoning with vampires: Annotated excerpts from the Twilight novels.

4) Archetizer on the top ten libraries in the world. Seattle’s downtown branch makes the list, as well it should. via email from my sister-in-law.

5) Also from my s-i-l, Nathan Sawaya makes art from Legos. More here.

6) TSA agents do not know their own rules. Video. And this description of the event from the victim’s point of view.

7) In the libertarian paradise, “justice” can be hired down at the local bar.

Book advances in convenient graph form

Standard

Over at SFNovelists.com, Jim C. Hines makes a graph of his advances to show how they’ve grown. I say good for him that they have grown, especially in this difficult economy; the man must be doing something right.

And it reminded me of a section in one of Donald Maass’s books (this one, I believe, which he’s offering online for free) in which he goes through his own client list to see which writers are earning six-figure incomes. This was back in the nineties (and the numbers need to be updated) but to make six figures through royalties on their backlist, one of the things the writers had to do was be writing for at least ten years already.

Instead of an overnight success, it’s an overdecade success.

Happy Black Friday, people

Standard

You know what makes a great Christmas present? Books. A mass market paperback will even fit inside a stocking. That’s a true fact.

I’m not saying which books you should give as gifts. No way. I’m just pointing out their excellent gift-appropriateness.

The obligatory Turkey Day post

Standard

The pies have been made, the dishwasher has been unloaded, loaded and then run again, the coffee has brewed, and it’s snowing. Thanksgiving! (for Americans, at least) Me, I’m about to go do today’s pages before I get together with the family for cooking, eating and watching some old movie (up this year: Errol Flynn’s THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD–and didn’t my 8yo roll his eyes when he saw that DVD cover.)

But it’s a time to take note of those things we’re thankful for. Me, I’m a guy who thinks about thankfulness and gratitude all year long; in a sense, I obsess over it. I’m always measuring my debt to those who are kind to me or who love me, and I’m constantly trying to pay back. However, today is a day when those feelings are normal, so I’m going to indulge, especially since I have something new to add this year.

First I’m thankful for my family. Nothing is ever going to trump that. If aliens came down in space ships and gave the world free energy machines, pills that heal knee injuries, and cameras that never took a picture of a politician with their mouth closed, I’d still be more amazed that my wife not only puts up with me and all my craziness, but agreed to have our child.

But for the first time I have something new to add to the list. Maybe I should have said this last year, but I was still kinda dizzy from publishing that first novel. I’m thankful for all the folks who read my books, enjoy them, and recommend them to their friends. It’s a tough economy right now, and a lot of new series are struggling or have already been cancelled. The Twenty Palaces books still have a chance to continue, though, and that’s because the readers have been so great.

So thank you for reading and spreading the word.

The menu for today is pretty traditional: Filling but unhealthy breakfast, then cut vegetables with dip, along with pickles and such. For dinner: brined turkey, sausage stuffing (I ground the sausage myself), giblet gravy, mashed potatoes, roast asparagus, cranberry sauce, honey-glazed onions. If I’m lucky, the boy will try–just try–the turkey and cranberry sauce. We also have some nice wines to enjoy after dinner with Errol and sweet potato and/or apple pie.

And finally! I’m am thankful to the guys at Wyrd and all the folks doing great work on the book trailer. And because I can’t resist, one more image. This time, it’s not a photo taken on set; it’s an actual frame grab from one of the shots, showing Ray throwing his ghost knife.

Frame grab--Ray throwing ghost knife

Damn. Now that’s Ray Lilly.

Stop interrupting!

Standard

Jason Fried gives a TEDtalk about productivity, offices, and why involuntary interruptions are the enemy of work.

This is why, even though I’m a full-time writer now, I still have to go to the coffee shop to meet my daily word count goals.

Photos from day three of the book trailer shoot

Standard

Frank Woodward posted pics of day three of the book trailer shoot. They’re here. You can see Jim and Marissa in character as Ray and Annalise, and Charlie Talbert who’s playing Wally, a character from book 3.

I wish I could have been there. It looked like a helluva lot of fun.