Approaching a stranger with your hand extended

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I haven’t wanted to say anything about Josh Olson’s often-linked rant about people asking him to read their scripts.

A lot of people have already dissected this from several angles and the only thing I could contribute to the conversation is that Josh Olson used to post in that sort of tone all the time back on the Wordplayer boards. (And the search engines at the site will only cough up one result when I search for Olson and fuck. Hah! I say. HAH!) That was his thing, and it wasn’t such a big deal in that context.

There’re also several posts on the topic by John Scalzi–this is an example of where he stands–and Lee Goldberg.

But what makes me think about this are the political activists outside the library.

See, every time I make my Wednesday trip to the library, there’s a pair (or more) of young, attractive activists soliciting signatures or whatever for lefty causes. And while I support lefty causes (generally) and have a ACLU card right here in my wallet, I don’t want to stop and talk to these people. I don’t have time on my lunch break, and at the end of the day I’m trying to reach a bus.

Most of the time, they’re fine with me shaking my head and looking away as I walk by. Or they’re not so put out that I know about it. But sometimes they go a little too far.

Not too long ago, a young woman stepped up to me as I walked by with her hand extended as though we should shake. As though a busy city sidewalk was a social situation where folks meet and greet.

I perceived that extended hand as an imposition, because I knew she was trying to use social cuing to make me stop what I was doing and deal with her thing. It annoyed me, and I nearly said “Don’t do that.”

And then yesterday, I had a guy walking to intercept me, with his hand extended like he wanted to shake. And since he was moving to block my path, it came across as aggressive.

“Not interested,” I said.

“In what?” he answered, knowing very well that I had no idea what cause he wanted to run by me.

“Talking,” I answered.

Did he think I was a dick? Hell, yeah. I saw it on his face and heard it in his voice. But what that guy didn’t understand is that he was intruding on me and my time. It’s like walking up to a stranger on the street and taking a bite out of the sandwich in their hand.

He should be asking me from a distance. He shouldn’t be moving to intercept me. He shouldn’t be offering his hand to me as though we’d just been introduced by a mutual friend. What he should do is ask me, as I approach “Do you have a minute to talk about the whales (or whatever).” That’s it.

And this is why I have tremendous sympathy for Olson, Scalzi and Lee Goldberg, no matter how I feel about the tone of their comments. Some people do not understand that they are not entitled to your time. They think they get to decide how important my schedule is. They think their needs are paramount.

It’s not that people shouldn’t ask for things. It’s that they don’t know how to do it correctly.

Crowd-sourcing my brain

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Most writers hold some sort of contest when their books come out, yes? As a promotional thing?

I feel a vague urge to do the same thing, but I’m not sure what I should do. I’m not planning to give away a tooth, like that horror writer from a couple years back.

So I’m asking you: What should I do, and what sort of prize should I offer? I have copies of Child of Fire sitting around now, and could offer them as prizes, but that sounds… presumptuous. (I know, I know. I’m the worst self-promoter ever. Don’t judge me.)

I have other books and stuff I could give away. Alternately, I could convince my wife to make a sketch to include with the book.

Another option is to give away copies of the book in exchange for reviews.

If I were going to be honest, though, I’d admit that I’m dubious about the value of this sort of thing, and time has been really, really tight lately. What do you think?

When the practical ought to be fashionable.

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Why is it that extremely practical things are so unfashionable? Why do so many people scoff at the fanny pack? Can someone explain it to me? Can someone explain why my wife doesn’t want me to go out like this???
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Randomness for 9/16

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I was planning to take a break from these for a couple days, but the universe has other plans.

1) The Philadelphia Free Library is closing for lack of funding. The city of my birth is about to join southern Oregon as a place I will never, ever live in.

2) On a lighter note, a haiku about the Sub-mariner, in comics form.

3) The Dan Brown sequel generator, which I can’t see at work. Is it funny?

4) Birth of a meme! “Whose responsible this!” via glvalentine

5) Dungeons and Dragons, the sodas! I’m going to be all over Digby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer.

How can we afford health care reform?

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People often say we can’t afford to reform our health care system. Let me throw out a data point, courtesy of the new intranet site at work that lets employees look up our own benefit info.

My health insurance, which covers three people in our family, costs approximately $20,000 a year.

That’s over 1600 a month. Now, that’s not all “employee contribution.” That’s my contribution and my employer’s added together, and that’s how it should be calculated–those fees are part of my compensation, even though they’re going into Great West’s pocket, and not mine.

Of course that doesn’t include my deductibles, my co-pays, or the things my insurance doesn’t cover. When the pediatric triage nurse told me to take my son to the ER, I went, even though our health insurance “discourages” that by making us pay way more for that sort of care. (That particular day was over $300–what the heck, the kid is worth it.)

That figure doesn’t include dental, by the way. It also doesn’t include vision. You know what else it isn’t? It isn’t the “buy-up” plan at work. I’m not getting the gold-plated coverage; I’m getting the lowest level of basic care they offer.

Twenty grand a year, just for insurance. We’re already paying a fortune.

America can do better.

Two weeks and counting

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Eeep!

Followup to yesterday’s post

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Evidence is increasing that obesity is not simply a matter of self-indulgence and self-control. While I’ve seen articles here and there about chemical influences on weight and diabetes, this is the first article I’ve come across that ties several research threads together.

Obviously, this all comes with the caveat that it’s science reporting, which is likely to be wildly inaccurate in the details and the implications. However! If the research is solid, it could go a long way to understanding the health implications of the chemicals we use everyday, not to mention the difficulties people have with their weight.

And while I’d heard of the problems associated with DDT and other pesticides, this is the first time I’d heard of preliminary results linking childhood obesity to soy.

It’s interesting stuff, and it really challenges the typical moralizing about food and weight in this culture. Also interesting is that that article linking obesity to chemicals hasn’t attracted the trolls the way the article about the link between obesity and genetics has.

On a personal level, I took my son to the pool yesterday for his “swim lesson” (really just an excuse to get out and move around). Generally, I don’t like swimming–I dislike being submerged in something I can’t breathe, and my son really hates it–but it was great to spend an hour playing without a full day’s worth of knee and ankle pain.

Dirty Dancing

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I don’t begrudge an actor a role–I realize it’s tough to find work–but Baby was supposed to be 14 in that movie, and Swayze was 34 when they filmed it.

Yeah, go ahead and say it. Yuck.

Of course, Jennifer Grey was 26 playing 14, but still, it was creepy.

Randomness for 9/15/09

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1) Tron light cycles build out of Lego. Pretty cool, but it’s not something for my son–he’s never seen the movie.

2) Strange and spectacular sinks/wash basins. I expect you think I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel, link-wise, but these are pretty amazing. I want the Art Ceram, myself. via marthawells

3) Newsweek does a story called The Real Cause of Obesity: It’s not gluttony. It’s genetics. Why our moralizing misses the point. The comment section, as you might expect, is a disaster of dim-witted moralizing. “Mr. Friedman is not very well informed. Genetics is only a very small factor in obesity. The role that it plays is that as a person eats junk food, is sedentary in their overall activities, it weakens the genetic code and gets passed on. But not only do the genes get passed on, the bad habits get passed on to the offspring and the genetic code continues to get weaker. ”

4) Sexual assault prevention tips that are guaranteed to work when employed correctly. via james_nicoll and theweaselking

5) One thing I struggle with in my writing is how to show mental states of many characters in a first-person POV. This TED talk about the development of the part of the brain that recognizes other people’s mental states doesn’t address my struggles specifically, but it’s pretty interesting.

6) You know who wants more Americans to have government-run insurance? Doctors. Yeah, doctors complain about Medicare reimbursement rates, but private insurance is an even bigger headache.

Chat with a Campbell winner

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Tomorrow, 9/15/09 at 7pm EST, Suvudu.com will be hosting a chat with John W. Campbell award winner David Anthony Durham.

Check it out.