The worst four-letter word in the whole fucking world.

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Occasionally, I suffer from hope.

See, I write these books that some readers (and me) like, but I occasionally get this idea that this or that particular story is going to be a big hit with a very large readership.

That’s hope, and it’s an awful thing. It distracts and disappoints. It makes me take my eye off what matters most. It tricks me into thinking there’s some external standard that I need to meet.

I was just discussing this elsewhere in another author’s private space: there’s this sense that we’re writing the wrong thing, and readers turn away from us and our work as if we were beggars shaking a tin cup at them. We get a few sales, a few reviews, then our books fade away because everyone moves on to some other thing they’re excited about. It goes without saying that no one “owes” a writer anything, but it also goes without saying that we can’t help but give in to that four-letter word when we release something new.

I can say from experience that it is incredibly painful to put a year of work into a book only to have it widely ignored. It’s not as painful as that time no kids showed for my son’s birthday party, but it’s still pretty bad.

But there’s one thing I can’t compare it to: I have no idea how it feels to write something because you think it must be “the right thing” for commercial success, and have it fail anyway.

Here’s a true story that I’ve talked about here once or twice: My editor wanted me to change the ending of Game of Cages. Specifically, she wanted me to change The Sentence (if you’ve read the book you know the 500+ word sentence I’m talking about). She knew it was a powerful scene, but it was not a commercial choice at all. Too dark.

She suggested, quite sensibly, that I revise it so the protagonist could be more of a hero. Readers like heroes.

Now, I was seriously torn over this. Child of Fire wouldn’t come out for months, so I wasn’t even a published writer yet, who was I to disagree? Besides, I loved that scene–the whole book was aimed to create it.

My agent (who is awesome) said my editor was right about that creative choice being anti-commercial, but she was ready to support whatever decision I made. The truth is, I could have changed that ending, and no one would have known by my editor, agent, and me. No one would have had a clue.

But what I told her, finally, was that I was afraid that I would replace that dark, harsh scene with something more Indiana Jones-heroic, but the book would fail anyway. Then I wouldn’t even be failing with my book.

It was almost certainly a stupid decision, career-wise, but I made it and I’m still living with it. You know what else I’m living with?

Hope for the new book I’m revising.

Check this blog post out: An Unexpected Ass Kicking. It’s worth reading, for real, especially if you use computers and/or care about elder wisdom. The OP’s takeaway is:

1. Nothing is withheld from us which we have conceived to do.

2. Do things that have never been done.

Me, I’ve tried to be original in my work, but I’ve never felt I was original enough. I’d really like to do better in that area.

As for what I “have conceived to do,” I have conceived to be my own marketing category, to write books are are uniquely mine, and to have a large readership who want to read them as soon as they’re available. Not because those books make the smart commercial choices or they are about the right subjects, but because I think they’re cool.

But seriously, read the linked post. It’s short.

Anyway, I have to pursue this stupid goal of mine, but I have to do it without killing myself hoping it will come true.

I’m on Marketplace APM

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Yesterday I volunteered to be interviewed for a story for American Public Media’s radio show Marketplace. Today, that story is online.

It’s about weight loss apps, and as I expected, they used the segment in which I admitted to being ashamed of my weight.

Fans and “Gatekeepers”

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A short while ago, a friend sent this link to a mailing list I’m on: Patton Oswalt’s Letters to Both Sides: His keynote address at Montreal’s Just For Laughs 2012. I enjoyed reading it but I wasn’t sure how to respond at first. Now enough time has passed that I think it’s too late, if you know what I mean.

So I want to talk about it here. If you didn’t click the link, you should. Oswalt’s a funny guy and he brings a historical precedent to the changes in the arts and entertainment biz: the last upheaval in the stand-up comic world was when Johnny Carson retired, and what that meant.

Anyway, the piece is broken up into two parts: the first is addressed to other comedians, telling them they don’t need to worry about pleasing “gatekeepers” anymore, and the second to the supposed gatekeepers, telling them that they are welcome to remain part of the process if they change their relationship to the artists doing the actual work–instead of approving/disapproving/demanding changes, they should become “fans.”

Now, on one level, this speech is the same thing you hear from everyone else nowadays, with the bit about Carson thrown in to give it weight. Boogedy-boogedy gatekeepers! Hamina hamina reach your audience directly! Woogity woogity [name of person who found success this way]. Those who did a runaround of the system and hit it big draw our attention the way iron draws a magnet, but the ones who struggled and failed are ignored.

Now, in TV and film–where Oswalt works when he’s not touring–your big break gets you the chance to work on the gatekeeper’s project. You write a spec script, they love it, they have a project they want your take on. With actors, it’s always someone else’s project unless they’re the producer, too. (See “The Room” and “Jake Speed.”)

For a novelist, you make your work and you send it into the world. If you self-publish, you hope readers like it and tell their friends, creating a snowball effect. If you other-publish, you hope you make fans among the people with access to good distribution and excellent production staff, at which point they turn it over to readers.

That’s what it is, and what it’s always been: making fans. Look at this post from Jennifer Laughran, in which she addresses a question I’ve seen authors bring up for years: Why do agents have to love a book before they represent it? Aren’t they salespeople? Can’t they just take the product and sell it, the way my cousin does with window blinds/radio airtime/insurance policies?

But as Laughran says in the post, she has to love it before she will invest her time and energy into it. What Oswalt is asking for in film and TV already happens in the book world. When you see those lists from self-published authors showing how many times this or that debut best-seller was rejected, they always try to pass it off as The gatekeepers don’t know what they’re doing and never have.

What I see when I look at those lists is this: those other places looked at an early draft and they didn’t fall in love.

Of course I’m talking about my own experiences here, and I’m not exactly an industry veteran. I’ve heard the stories, like everyone has, of books that are picked up because a publisher needs to fill a slot in a popular genre, or that a writer with a great first book (or few books) falls into a slump. It would be ridiculous to suggest that an industry as large, diverse, and complex as trade publishing always did everything one way.

But Oswalt is asking TV/film people to become fans of the artists they work with. Publishing people have already done that; it’s on us as writers to show them work they want to love. So, Oswalt’s speech is great, but I’m glad it doesn’t apply to me.

One of the most dangerous things I do, productivity-wise

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One of the most dangerous things I do, in terms of my productivity, is leave my house with the wifi still live. I always mean to do work, but somehow I get caught up in email/Facebook/Twitter, and Twitter is the worst of all. It’s not just that the messages keep coming, prompting me to load new ones; it’s also that they are usually full of links to completely awesome things elseweb.

That means a 50-character leads to a long Kate Beaton cartoon, or an article Olympic drama, or health care politics, or that excellent “How to Kill Yourself and Others in America Slowly” essay I linked to everywhere last week.

Today it was the Readercon public statement, a couple of articles about sexist coverage of the Olympics, a change in the comments policy of a popular writer’s blog, and…

Really, does it matter? All that matters is that I’m not at work on my book. So I’m going to do the grown up thing now and turn on Freedom for a few hours.

Guns, Germs, And Private Equity

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I’ve been pretty busy–too busy to do a lot of blogging–but I thought I should point this out:

I didn’t realize that, for some time, Mitt Romney has been quoting from Guns, Germs, and Steel to explain his view of the world and the way to develop healthy economies.

Normally when I talk about a book I put up a buy link for interested readers, but not this time. While Diamond’s book is interesting, it’s not something you want to base an economic policy on.

Randomness for 7/25

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1) The secret menu at In N Out.

2) How to light a fire with your pee.

3) 20 Unusual (to me) ice cream flavors. I’d try any of these except the cigar and condom ice creams. Even the hay.

4) Rejected Star Wars toy proposals.

5) The 11 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Religious Paintings. Sorta Jesus-centric, but yeah, those are pretty awful.

6) Household tips that will get you through everyday life.

7) The howtomba profile of Wayne Enterprises.

Take two on The Dark Knight Rises: The Failure of Ideals

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Here I was writing a long, rambling piece on TDKR when I stumbled onto Genevieve Valentine’s review, which is broken up by movie stills every couple of paragraphs like a Cracked.com article, and I realized that no one would want to read 2000 rambling words on a Batman movie without even any pics to break up the text.

Batman: ^-_-^

Spoilers, naturally.

Let me see if I can shorten this up a bit: The way I see this movie (and the other two parts of the trilogy) is that it would have been an interesting story on the way people’s ideals fail them, if I had any faith that he understood that was the story he was telling.

Oh, there’s a lot of talk about tough choices and impossible situations, but it’s all rather incoherent. At the end of Batman Begins, Batman tells Ducard that he won’t kill him, but he doesn’t have to save him, either, which is complete bullshit in contrast to the way he treats The Joker at the end the The Dark Knight.

At the end of The Dark Knight, Wayne and Gordon drum up a complete lie about Harvey Dent because the people of Gotham City need Dent as a symbol. Nevermind the way they tried to kill the fellow who planned to reveal Batman’s secret identity; apparently, Dent-as-symbol wasn’t operational yet, or something. And nevermind that the scene on the two ferries had already demonstrated the Gotham’s citizens–even the criminal class–were basically decent people. No, we had to watch Gordon and Batman spackle over Dent’s crimes for the so-called good of the city.

One of the best things about these three movies has been the way Gotham has been handled. It has a very real sense of place and a character all to its own. In the first film, when Gordon, Batman, and Dawes all work outside the system, it’s because the system is the enemy. The system in Gotham is so corrupt and dangerous that they have to move very carefully in taking it down.

In TDK, Gotham is still only partly cleaned up. There are cops selling information to the mob, or are being coerced in other ways. The struggle that Dent, Dawes, and Gordon face is that they are trying to make use of a system that sometimes betrays them.

But in TDKR, Gordon and his new protege Blake are still talking about working outside the system. Gotham is pretty much cleaned up. It’s “peacetime”. And they’re still not willing to do their policing with the law.

It’s one thing for a vigilante like Batman to operate outside the law (and kudos to THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN for addressing this nicely). In BB the cops were the enemies. In TDK, the cops had an uneasy alliance with Batman. In TDKR, they’re enemies again thanks to the lie Gordon and Wayne cooked up. It’s not until the power structure of Gotham has been stripped away by Bane that he can return again as a hero.

But you know what? There’s a point at which heroes who dedicating themselves with overthrowing a corrupt power structure has to replace it with something just. They have to work within that new power structure, or what is it worth? These three Batman movies want out authority figures to be eternal insurgents.

Let me transition to something else that might seem trivial: Batman operates outside the legal structures of law and order, but he has limits for himself. He doesn’t punish criminals. He stops them and turns them over to the police for arrest or he pushes them out of their place of power. He doesn’t execute them.

It’s a refreshing change to hear Batman tell Selena Kyle “No guns. No killing.” midway through TDKR, especially after all the lethal violence the Marvel pre-Avengers movies have doled out.

But how does Bane finally taken out? Not by Batman’s non-lethal methods; Kyle drives up in the batcycle and shoots him (along with a quip).

It’s similar to that scene in TDK where Batman refrains from killing the Joker on the street and ends up at his mercy, only to be saved by Gordon. In the comics, Batman’s idealism might make his life harder, but it doesn’t make him fail. In TDKR, if Kyle hadn’t violated his ideals, Gotham City becomes a smoking crater.

There’s an interesting story to be told about violating your ideals for a greater good mixed in with all this talk about masks, symbols, trust, etc, but since Bane’s final defeat is played off like standard Hollywood gun heroism, I don’t even know if Nolan recognizes that it’s there.

Have I mentioned this story I wrote?

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I have a short story available in the anthology Tales of the Emerald Serpent, which is now out as an ebook (Amazon) and in paper (Lulu). I posted a teaser for the story (title: “The One Thing You Can Never Trust”) when the anthology was doing the Kickstarter thing, and now the whole thing is available.

I don’t know if there’s a Harry Connolly “type” of story–I kinda hope not–but if there is, this one is it. It’s plotty, kinda dark, full of ruthless characters, and a bit like a crime story.

You know, in case you wanted to read something else I wrote.

I write with Scrivener, too

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Charles Stross blogged about writing a novel in Scrivener and I thought it was an interesting read. Okay, I skimmed the part where he talked about LaTeX because Jesus, what the hell is that even and I pretty much don’t need to know.

Anyway, he’s right about many things: there is no way to do the track changes thing that people use MSWord for. That means I either have to a) switch over to Scrivener to type out all the changes I want to accept in MSWord, or b) import the edited Word document into a new Scrivener project (or into the old project, which I haven’t done because .scriv files are already HUGE), or c) accept that the .scriv file will not be the most recent file.

I’ve been doing a) which is annoying but feels satisfying, too, like keeping a tidy desk.

Also, I don’t have the same issues with the compiling process. Yes, there’s a helluva learning curve. Yes, it’s annoying as hell. Still, with enough trial-and-error I was able to create a handful of very clean epub files, without any hand-coding at all.

The floating word count window? AWESOME. I seriously love it, especially the way I can set a due date for the draft and it will tell me how many words I have to do per day to make that goal. I can even go in and mark certain days of the week as non-writing days. That’s good. I wrote about that some time ago: You can see the progress bar in this screen cap post.

Something else I like is that I can import web pages into the research section. I can dl the Wikipedia page for “Pansy Craze” or “Samurai” then while I’m writing (my internet is always disabled when I write) I can easily

Finally, one thing Charlie doesn’t mention is one of my favorite things: Custom Meta-data. See, when I was writing the Twenty Palaces books, I drove myself to exhaustion trying to keep track of what Ray had in his pockets: Did he have money? How much? Did he still have a gun? Whose was it? Had he stolen a car? What make again?

It was crazy-making and involved a lot of tedious fact-checking back through the book. But! With Custom Meta-data I could easily make a line for “Money” and keep track. Or “Gun”

In Epic Fantasy With No Dull Parts, I used Custom Meta-data to keep track of the two protagonists’ time lines. (They diverge late in the book.) That’s the sort of thing that drove me to distraction in earlier work.

Anyway, Scrivener is way too complicated, but I just ignore all those complicated parts I don’t need, just the way I did with MSWord back in the day. Plus, I’ve figured out the search thing that used to make me nuts.

I’m still working on the first draft for King Khan, and I swear that progress bar thing is really helping my productivity (not to mention the easy access I have to the synopsis). Yesterday’s word count was 3.3K which is huge for me, and today’s was 4K, which is unthinkable. So, you know, pleased.

A letter to Baby Author Me

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On her blog, novelist Ally Carter wrote a letter she wished she could send to herself back when she was just starting out. I thought it was funny and interesting enough that I stole the idea. Being me, this particular letter might not have the wide applicability that Ms. Carter’s does but I’ll share it anyway: a letter to myself in 2008.

First of all, old self, today isn’t the day your agent sent your first book on submission. That was back in mid-January some time. So yeah, this is late. Then again, you’re the guy who received a birthday card that his sister had bought for his birthday the year before then never got around to sending. You’re a Connolly; you’re used to it.

Second of all, Twenty Palaces was not rejected because of the story. It was the writing. You haven’t realized this yet, but you’d be better off not sending it to your agent or editor. The truth is, you made a big leap in your understanding of the language while you were revising Harvest of Fire, and you haven’t realized yet how rough that earlier book is. Seriously. Keep it to yourself until after you have a chance to revise it.

Third, don’t bother scrounging for reviews. Interviews are great. Definitely do that Big Idea piece for John Scalzi. Guest blogging is also cool (in fact, ask around if anyone would like you to guest blog).

But that thing where you spend hours and hours looking for reviewers, working out what sort of books they review, try to judge their readership, contact them and mail off books? Just don’t even bother. You’d be better off spending that time working on new books or being funny online.

In fact, being funny and/or interesting online is really the best marketing you can do. Have fun with that and skip the reviewers. The ones that find and review your work on their own will be good enough, but beyond that it’s too big a time sink.

Fourth, you aren’t really going to find yourself joining a new community of writers and genre fans, the way so many others seem to. Don’t worry about it.

Fifth, and last, I’m not going to spill the beans about how well your books are going to do, but I will say this: Write the books the way you think they should be written, and don’t agonize about it too much. Whether you succeed or fail, you’ll at least be doing it on your own terms.

Okay, that wasn’t the last. Here’s the last: You’ve worked pretty hard to get to this spot, but you’re going to have to work even harder to stay there.