the boy

Fan fiction (by me)

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Remember the Scalzi/Wheaton benefit anthology, with the fan fiction contest? You may have noticed that I posted my son’s (non)entry? Of course you do. Well, I thought I would post my losing entry.

No, the winning story hasn’t been chosen. I’m just assuming.

Anyway, I dropped my son off at the day camp and have a few extra hours to myself. Of course it’s gorgeous weather out there, but I’m going to spend it on The Buried King. I doubt I’ll have something ready to send to my agent by the end of the day, but I should be able to take a big bite out of it. Especially when I turn off my modem, as I’m about to do.

Then I get to vacuum.

Anyway, here’s the story (about 800-words worth), behind the cut. Continue reading

Randomness for 7/24

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1) Can you spot the endangered species in this photo?

2) Want your kid to do well in college? Take them out of school! via Jen Busiek.

3) A book marketing idea I’m going to steal. For Child of Fire, I’m thinking flame-proof kiddie pajamas. For Game of Cages, I’m not sure. Doggie sweaters?

4) Slate discovers BBB is worthless. The rest of America says “DUH!”

5) Last time I linked to a funny post by Josh Freidman. This time I’m linking to a post that is just as true and wrenched tears out of me. Incredibly powerful writing. Jesus.

6) And, to move from the sublime to the ridiculous: How to pay for a Death Star.

7) Science fiction writer profiled in NY Times. I hope it gets him new readers.

Harry Potter and the Constant Lulz

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My family is reading the Harry Potter series right now. We’re on the second book, and we’re reading it aloud to each other.

I did not remember how funny these books are. Maybe it’s just the difference between hearing them aloud and in my head, but we have been laughing and laughing throughout. Rowling really has a feel for broad characters and light comedy.

It’s fun!

“Step into my cage:” thoughts on Sorcerer’s Apprentice (plus bonus family stuff)

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Yesterday we planned to go to the beach, hit the library and head downtown to watch SORCERER’S APPRENTICE. The weather report promised us that the day would be mostly cloudy, leading to a drizzle at the end of the day. Being Seattle-ites, we headed to the beach anyway. Being Seattle, the day turned clear and beautiful. And me without my sunscreen.

We played Frisbee golf (more like Frisbee putt putt), built driftwood shelters on the beach, took photographs at low tide, (Oh, look! a bald eagle in flight!:
One of the park's eagles. Wish I could have zoomed in farther.

The full but rather small set is on flickr here. ) ate a picnic, dropped off and picked up books at the library, then… the movie!

Non-spoiler version: Fun but unsatisfying. Nic Cage was better than he’s been in a big-budget film in a while and Jay Baruchel really sells the nerdy hero character he’s signed up for. But while individual scenes and sequences are a lot of fun, the movie as a whole doesn’t add up. Like too many films that involve stopping bad guys from casting a world-ending spell, it feels like watching a game of Calvinball where everyone goes home before the end.

SPOILER VERSION: Sorry, but this got long Continue reading

Happy Independence Day to my fellow Americans

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I’m having a quiet day at home, just like yesterday, hanging with family. We were planning to camp out on the side of a hill somewhere to watch the fireworks tonight, but we’ve been invited to a party. I have no idea what we’ll end up doing. All I know is that I plan to bore my son with an explanation of what we’re celebrating and why.

Happy Birthday, America.

Five things for a Friday

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1) Time for a yay! I’ll be doing another Big Idea essay at the end of August, this time for GAME OF CAGES. Yay! This time I’m going to write a little bit about pets and pet-owners. You guys know how I feel about pets, right? I’m sure many of the people who read it are going to suspect I’m an alien infiltrator, but I swear it ain’t true.

2) I have a huge disorganized jumble of odd books at home. Why, you ask? Because I’m going to be giving them away. They’re all out of my father-in-law’s collection (with his blessing), and they range from ethnic joke books with blank spaces where the ethnicity would go (“You supply the ethnic!”), to stacks of old Archie comics, to old-time erotic photography (now with more bodystockings!), to other, odder books. As the big event, I’ll be giving away this puppy. That’s right, folks. Watch this space.

One question: should I bother with contests? Or just pretend to choose people at random?

Anyway, those books shouldn’t be in a jumble, but they are, because…

3) I spent a good portion of last night tidying my desk so the new printer will fit. My laser printer has stopped working since my Qwest troubles caused me to reinstall my operating system. The Australian print drivers I’d installed seem to have been wiped, and I wasted a bunch of time looking for working replacements. Grr. Way to not support Mac OS, Samsung! I hate you now. Add to that a phone conference about the book trailer for Man Bites World, and I find that…

4) I have a lot of housework to do tonight. Vacuuming, dishes, tidying, recycling, not to mention a quick shopping run for my wife and son’s comfort foods because…

5) Tonight my wife and son come home. They will both need a lot of attention, and I have to say I’m excited to see them. I don’t do very well when my family isn’t around.

I just put my wife and son on a bus

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They’re headed downtown to connect with the Link light rail and then on to the airport. My mother-in-law had a medical emergency today. I’m not going to give details because it’s not my place, but my wife threw a bunch of stuff into a rolly backpack, grabbed the kid by the ear and lit off for upstate NY. I’m not sure where things stand, but I hope it all turns out all right.

Me, I’ll probably be following on Saturday morning, if the state of emergency is still ongoing. Until then, I’ll be doing what needs doing to leave this place for a full week, namely: paying bills, cleaning, drinking heavily.

It’s a plan.

The Scalzi/Wheaton Benefit Anthology

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Check this out. John Scalzi and Wil Wheaton are putting on a benefit anthology for the Lupus Foundation of America. They’re accepting stories for a contest–with the winning story included in the antho. Entries have to be between 400-2,000 words, will earn 10c a word if accepted and have to be based on the crazy illustration posted at the link above.

Me, I’m working on a little story to submit (in my Copious Free Time) but my son (who’s 8 years old) was inspired to write a little something himself. It’s not long enough to meet even half the minimum word count, otherwise I’d submit it for him. Instead, I’ll post it here.

He doesn’t have a title for it (see? he takes after me) and I didn’t do a thing to it except type it out. Here you go:

Hi, I’m Wil. I’m the leader of the leader of Warriors with Oversized Unicorn Kittens With Wings And Extra Extra Long Spears And Infamous Clown Sweaters. We have set up a base on the top of a volcano. The Orc Warriors With Lots Of Metal And Round Hammer-Things set up a base down in the valley. They don’t go up because it’s a long walk and we don’t go down because we’re scared of heights.

Then one day I decided to go down and overcome my fears. I closed my eyes and moved down. After one second, I opened my eyes and turned to meet John, leader of The Orc Warriors With Lots Of Metal And Round Hammer-Things.

He threw his hammer-thing at me. He missed.

“Ha ha!” I said. “I have got you now!” I threw my extra extra long spear. It missed, too.

“Awww!” I said, and we went back to our bases.

The end.

Yeah, the illustration shows an axe rather than a hammer-thing, but I chalk that up to a misperception in the heat of battle.

Hope you guys are having a great day.

“Because all you of Earth are idiots!”

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My son and I are watching PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

OMG.

Randomness for 5/27

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1) Five reasons it’s still not cool to admit you’re a gamer.

2) Mr. Know-It-All, I just found out that one of my favorite sci-fi writers is a raging homophobe. Should I prevent my son from reading the jerk’s books? Huh. I wonder who they’re talking about?

3) Weeks ago, we borrowed Cosmos from the library to share it with our son, but he refused to even be in the same room when we started it. I’m pretty sure he thought it was high-fiber. This auto-tuned video made him change his mind.

4) Solar Water Disinfection. via Martha Wells.

5) Alcohol, a burrito, and Captain America. The “real” Cap would never be this big of an asshole.

6) I’m sure this will become a quality motion picture.

7) Best of all: The first issue of Awesome Hospital is complete online!