Authenticity as a barrier to success

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(Added later: Inman offers a response to the article in question and it’s quite long. It’s also a pretty detailed dismantling of the article itself, in which the cartoonist points out several of the comics he’s done that on controversial topics.

All of which flies in the face of the original article and what I’ve written here. I encourage people to check it out.)

Should I have said “barrier” in the subject line? Maybe it should have been “path” with a question mark at the end.

For example: there’s this unfriendly article on Matthew Inman, the guy behind The Oatmeal. Inman started out as an SEO expert, creating quizzes, cartoons, and other sites that included links to clients’ sites, driving up their Google ranking. When he got sick of that job, he struck out on his own. A quote:

“With The Oatmeal, I wanted to create something where the viral marketing itself was the product, rather than trying to put it on something else.”

Some of this most popular, most-linked comics are about grammar misuse; he basically instructs people how to use the language correctly, and makes fun of the ways people get it wrong.

Not that he particularly cares about grammar himself. The truth is, he noticed it was something people got angry about on the internet, did some research to look up the correct usages, drew the comics, then had an editor check them.

End result: profit. He even sells posters to schools, which is a nice gig if you can get it.

You can see this all through his site: Comics about how terrible it is to fly a plane. About bad customer service over the phone. About people who talk in movie theaters.

Are these things that Inman himself cares about? The question misses the point. The readers care about it. People on reddit care and once they start linking to him there it spreads all over the internet. Inman wants to make comics that reinforce the opinions you already have. His usual everyman protagonist, bald and overweight, is supposed to be “relatable” for his audience. It certainly doesn’t represent the cartoonist himself, who is a full-on fitness nut.

Sure, they’re funny. I’ve laughed more than once on his site; the guy is clever and has a way with the over-the-top joke. His drawing style is also unique and expressive, the sort of thing that make people think I could do that if I wanted to even though they couldn’t.

Then there are things that are odd or absurd, like the online quizzes. How many 5-year olds can you take in a fight? How long would you last if you were chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor?

All that stuff is charming and linkable, but it comes from me, not from him. It’s tailored to appeal to me. If I were to guess, I’d say this comic about making things for the web is personal to him, if you forget about the fat guy gorging himself on Cheetos or whatever that’s supposed to be. The rest of it, who knows?

So I’m stuck in this weird place. You know that thing that happens when you’re all “MY GOD WHAT A GREAT MOVIE THAT WAS IT’S MY NEW FAVE I WISH I COULD DO THAT!” and your friend says “You mean the movie set in New York that didn’t have a single non-white face in it?” or “You mean the movie where the villain murders all these people to get a magic doohickey and the hero defeats him by giving him the doohickey?” or “You mean the one where the world is set right by reinstalling a king?” or “You mean the one where the cops can only stop the bad guys by ignoring all those pesky laws, regulations, and restraints on their power?”

When that happens, it’s like walking into a glass door. Boom. I am being pandered to so efficiently that I didn’t even notice. How could I not notice?

It’s like a Hollywood movie, I guess. Big summer tentpole pictures are full of characters and story choices designed to appeal to the widest possible crowd, and that’s fine. I enjoy movies like that. I enjoyed THE AVENGERS and WRECK-IT RALPH.

But I enjoy them at a remove. I know they’re designed to flatter and thrill me without being personal in a challenging way. I know they’re not going to tell me anything I’m uncomfortable with, as long as I’m in the target audience. There’s nothing wrong with that. Let me repeat, with boldface: There’s nothing wrong with that. People make work for all sorts of reasons, and the marketplace of ideas and entertainment is large enough even for the stuff aimed at SEO. And who wants to hate on a Wookie Jesus iPhone case?

One of the big changes that the internet has brought about is the idea that niche markets pay, if you keep your expenses down. If you’re good and “authentic” (by whatever definition) you can reach people.

But to reach really really large audiences? Millionaire in just a few years audiences? Best to click on through to the article above and study up on Inman’s advice.

The Best (Ghostiest) version of A Christmas Carol ever

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As per annual tradition, here’s the full version of Chuck Jones’s 1971 animated adaptation. It’s got more ghosts per frame than pretty much any version, and my favorite Marley ever.

Plus it’s stylish as hell.

Stupid iframe embedding had better work, but if it doesn’t you can watch it on YouTube.

Only creeps and fools make fun of Lawful Good

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Okay, it’s not just creeps and fools. People who hate rpgs makes fun of it, and so do people who hate D&D. That’s legit. Then there are people like me, who think the whole idea of “alignments” as an organizing principle is a terrible idea. I’m a fool but not for that.

However, you also have people who write articles like this: The Best Dungeons & Dragons Character Alignments.

See? He’s cool with the idea of alignments in general, but he says this:

If heroes are Neutral Good, what does that make those who are Lawful Good? Paladins, i.e. assholes. Paladins and other stick-up-their-ass good guys try to do good within the system, and are invariably limited by it…

And there’s this sort of humor (which is funny, but still).

You know who qualifies as Lawful Good? The cop who gathers evidence legally to convict a suspect. He doesn’t plant evidence on a guy he’s sure is guilty. He doesn’t abuse his authority. He follows the law. Who else? Judges who make sure people get a fair trial when they could easily lean on the suspect they think is guilty.

And so on. The law limits us, yes, and sometimes (too often) the law is wrong and needs to be changed, but that’s a good thing. Only a creep or a fool longs to toss off the rule of law.

Wildlights at the zoo

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I put a few pictures of our trip to Wildlights up on my new Tumblr. If you’re in Seattle, you should check it out.

Latest scandal engulfs Pat Rothfuss

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And the scandal is this: He’s a decent guy giving readers a chance to win great books and other swag while helping charity.

Check out how on his blog.

I have nothing to donate this year, so you won’t have a chance to win anything of mine, but there’s a massive pile of books over there you could win.

Another end of series evaluation

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Over on the Black Gate blog, Peadar O’ Guillin writes about the reason his series failed to find a readership. I figured since my own blog post about the failure of the Twenty Palaces series remains the most popular post on this site, you guys might be interested in his story, too.

One thing I’d add: that title isn’t doing the book any favors. The more involved I become in books, the more important titles seem.

Reuben Salad

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The boy didn’t like it, but my wife did. I’ll be updating the recipe for next time.

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It’s fancy potato chips at the bottom, then lettuce, then corned beef, then sauerkraut, then swiss cheese, then thousand island dressing. I may heat the cheese next time so it’s more melty–the residual heat from the meat and kraut didn’t do it–but overall it was pretty good. Not great, but pretty good.

Best in small doses, I think.

I may need to revise the way I write archery scenes.

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It’s pretty interesting, but I wish they showed the technique in more detail.

Random catching up

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1) My wife is okay. Her bicycle accident (mentioned in the last post) is going to cost north of 200 bucks to fix, but she’s recovering nicely. In fact, she was planning to loiter around the bike shop while they worked on it so she could ride home. She really, really loves to ride her bike.

2) My son is okay, too. He slept all morning yesterday and woke with a smile. At first, he credited me with magical healing powers, then he immediately started being annoying. He’s still not 100%, but he’s getting better.

3) Will he be well enough by tomorrow evening to try my newest recipe, the reuben salad? Time will tell.

4) I have a tumblr now, but there’s nothing on it. Yet. It’s here.

5) I’m just going to go ahead and say it: this has been a stressful week. I may take tomorrow off from writing.

6) My wife asked for this, so it’s not exactly going to be a surprise, but she’s getting it for Giftmas.

May you live in uninteresting times

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I’m typing this on my wife’s iPad, so forgive any weird autocorrect or capitalization issues.

Yesterday, about 20 minutes after sending my wife off to work her evening shift, I got the call I’ve been dreading for 19 years: she’d had an accident on her bicycle.

Luckily it happened on the bike trail (all hail civilized cities and their off-road trails) so there were no cars involved, but she was still banged up pretty badly. The accident happened because the bolt holding her seat to her seat stem sheared off and she fell backwards onto the rack. One of her pedals gouged her knee pretty badly and she struck her cheekbone on her handlebar. There will be other lingering aches and pains, but those were the worst.

So, no head injuries, no broken bones, no hospital visits. We’re very fortunate.

I convinced her to skip work to stay home and ice, elevate her leg and go to bed early. She was already nursing a cold, so there’s no reason for her to exhaust herself.

Then, after dinner, my son began to complain of stomach pain. We figured it was just gas but at around 10pm the vomiting began.

There’s always that hopeful moment after the first barfing that makes you hope everything’s all cleared up. Nope. He was sick on and off throughout the night.

My wife, who had gone to bed around 8:30, woke naturally around midnight. She took over for me a little before one then woke me around 5:30. The poor guy had been waking every half hour with pain and vomiting and couldn’t even keep water down.

Finally just before 7 I told him that h was still in the worst of it, that he needed to sleep so he could recover enough to hydrate himself.

He crashed out as though he was implementing a plan and has been sleeping for nearly 2.5 hours, with only minimal moaning and stirring.

Have I ever mentioned that he found me passed out on the bathroom floor once due to flu-related dehydration? He couldn’t have been older than four.

Have I also mentioned that, when my wife and I were first together in the nineties, I used to get up a 4am every day for my crapy job, but would be unable to sleep at night because I would be worrying about her nighttime bike commute? I used to lie in bed, staring at the ceiling while I imagined terrible accidents. Then I would hear the distinctive sound of her brakes out front and I’d drop right off.

So, yeah. A couple of mildly stressful days, especially since I’ve started falling behind on EPIC SEQUEL WITH NO DULL PARTS.

Anyway, I’m going to sneak out of his room and make myself more coffee. I hope autocorrect hasn’t done anything embarrassing to this post.