Some friends of mine are planning to make a low-budget sf film. I have the script at home waiting to be read, and I know–know–it’s going to rock. No cheapo aliens, Ed Wood monsters, or SiFi Originals-level acting for these guys. They’re smart and clever.

The title is NEWTON’S CRADLE, and I can’t wait to read it.

So! For my own contribution to the glittering screen, I offer a failure-proof of my idea for use in any Hollywood mega-production. For free!

Because you know it’s good if it doesn’t cost you anything.

The movie will be called JIG, and it’ll be about a woman who collects rare jigsaw puzzles–you know, for the art–who discovers a WWII era German jigsaw artist who hid clues in his many puzzles that will lead a clever puzzler to the location of Secret Nazi Gold. It’ll be just like a Dan Brown novel, but with pretty pictures of leaping dolphins and homey villages populated with anthropomoriphized kittens.

Our Heroine teams up with the smoking hot great grandson of the jigsaw artist–a detective with a love of Nazi puzzles–in a race against [mumble mumble] to find the secret treasure. But was the jigsaw puzzle artist really a secret Nazi and a killer? And is his great grandson one too????

See? It writes itself. And after people left the theater, they could tell all their friends they “Saw Jig.” Heh heh. Get it?

Call me, Hollywood!