1) Fifteen things to know about L.A.

2) Can you tell the difference between Dustin Diamond’s tell-all memoir of his time on SAVED BY THE BELL and Papa Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls? Take the quiz!

3) What, exactly, is a chachbag? Only a special, select few will know.

4) Posted by everyone, but what the hell: Vampires are popular because women want to have sex with gay men. Honestly, this strikes me as deeply ass-headed, but I’m too busy and tired to unpack it.

5) Miss Manners to “moderately successful novelist”: Do not put a DONATE button on your website.