I see a lot of people calling out coverage of the Steubenville rape trial for being ridiculously concerned about the effects of a rape conviction on rapists, and they’re right to be angry.

However, there’s one thing I don’t see people talking about:

How incredibly common it is.

I know more than a few guys who lost their virginity by bringing a girl who was black-out drunk back to their room. It was a common enough thing in college.

To be clear, I never did this–I have never even found myself in that position–but a lot of guys have. When you see news people online talking about the awful consequences for those teenage boys, understand that they’re thinking That could be me/my husband/my brother/my best friend from college.

It’s hard for people to accept the idea that they or people they care about have done evil.