Randomness for 2/24

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1) A Book by its Gorey Cover. And Part 2.

2) That Old Spice “I’m on a horse” commercial–and an interview with the guys who made it. CGI or no? via madrobins

3) The Brad Pitt Guy, part 4.

4) “It’s like MOBY DICK, right, but with a white dragon! I’d better get started on my ROBO-MEO AND POD-PERSON JULIET story, quick!

5) A restaurant dessert like no other. I don’t even know what most of this is, but I want it.

6) Twilight invades every aspect of our culture.

7) The Brad Pitt Guy, Part Last. With bonus note-arguing.

Randomness for 2/22

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1) Part two of the screenwriter stalker story! with bonus Brad Pitt at a urinal. And here’s Part 3. (Here’s part 1, in case you missed it.)

2) More OKCupid data crunching: this time about “older” women.

3) Remember the American version of Godzilla from 1998? Well, an early draft of the script was written by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, the guys who wrote PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, SHREK, MASK OF ZORRO and ALADDIN, among others. Although their script was very different from the version that was filmed and released, some elements were kept and they ended up with credit. Sometime in the last 12 years, they posted their final draft online so people could compare the work they did with the finished movie. Well, someone has taken it upon themselves to turn that script into a webcomic. It’s not finished, but it is pretty cool.

4) Hot dog salad dressing??? 20 Unholy Recipes, Dishes So Awful We Had To Make Them. via Jay Lake

5) An insider’s guide to writing for Mills & Boon. Interesting stuff.

6) That “Ten Rules For Writing” article in the Guardian Part one, Part two. Those are fun to read, even the ones I disagree with.

7) Bertie Wooster as Bruce Wayne.

Randomness for 2/16

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1) Garry Marshal, keeping it classy: “But two things I’m sure audiences all over the world understand: prostitutes and love.”

2) [Broken link deleted]

3) John Mayer: shithead.

4) I’m proud to say I fit within nine of the categories on this sign, or I would have in the past. How many can you claim?

5) Now for something equally stupid but much less hurtful, a thoughtful dissection of the infamous first edition Fiend Folio. Here’s part two. I have a bit of a D&D theme this week.

6) Real life is cooler than fiction could ever be.

7) Christopher Bird on the Captain America/Tea Party kerfuffle.

Peter O’Toole on AVATAR

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“It’s full of blue-arsed Barbie dolls trying to catch rubber turkeys. It was the most gorgeous pile of nonsense I have ever seen.”

via Ansible.

Randomness for 2/11

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1) Jessa Crispin, editor and founder of Bookslut.com, writes a largely critical article about Jeff VanderMeer’s Booklife. As a response, VanderMeer interviews her on his blog. Now THAT is a smart response to a negative writeup.

2) Peter Osnos on Macmillan vs. Amazon.com.

3) An important chart for urban fantasists.

4) Weird stalker calls, and how to end a story on a dramatic note.

5) Jimmy Dean’s iPhone accessories.

6) Polls show that 70% of Americans support allowing “gay men and lesbians” to serve in the military, but only 59% support allowing “homosexuals” to serve. Rational actors? I don’t think so.

7) Anne Rice to release a “Vook.” FYI Perez Hilton loved it.

Very important announcement

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I will not be going to see that werewolf movie premiering this weekend. Werewolves freak me out (which is why they appear in the Twenty Palaces universe when pretty much no other “classic”/folklore creatures will be) and I do not want to see a movie where people get torn apart and eaten.

That’s right, I skip zombie movies, too. (Give me unicorns anyday).

Maybe I’ll see it someday, on the smallest screen possible… like my wife’s iPod Classic.

Meanwhile, here’s a fun list of classic werewolf movies.

An ebook idea

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Microsoft Word’s annoying “comment” feature gave me a weird idea–which maybe you’ve already heard about from other people, but I’ll post it here in case it’s the newest thing in newville.

Background: for many years, local Seattle writer David Schmader gave live performances in which he played the schlocktastic movie SHOWGIRLS and delivered a running commentary for a live audience. I never went to one of his performances because a) it would involve going outside and b) it’s SHOWGIRLS, but the shows were so popular that the studio offered to let him do the show as a commentary track on the DVD.

That’s almost tempting.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about ebooks and people’s desire to resell them used. I’m not too keen on that idea, for reasons that I don’t necessarily want to go into, but it occurred to me that there are a lot of books that could stand to have a commentary track.

Would you be interested in an ebook of Lord of the Rings with interspersed comments by Tom Shippey? Would you want to read David Hines’s comments on John Ringo’s Paladin of Shadows books? Jo Walton’s take on… whatever?

The novels could be sold as an annotated edition–slightly more expensive than the original ebook, with payment going to the original publisher (and author) and a small fee going to the annotater. It wouldn’t be a “used” book the way paper books are sold, but it would be a value-added way for ebook readers to resell their content–and readers who were especially insightful (or, to be honest, snarky) could start a nice little side business.

Just an idea.

Edited to add: Actually, I’m not done writing about this. More in a bit.

Edited to add, redux: I meant to talk about this 70-minute slam review of The Phantom Menace, which everyone has been linking to lately. I’d planned to link to it, too, right up to the point that I watched it.

To explain: it’s seventy minutes of breaking down the many ways in which the film failed, and how George Lucas became too big to be “edited,” and how to establish audience sympathy, set up a protagonist, dramatize a dilemma central to the plot, etc. Interesting stuff, and it’s very professionally done.

The downside is that the reviewer decided to do the job in character. The conceit of the critique is that this is a film made by a brain-damaged serial killer–a guy so totally screwed up he’s one step away from a monster, and yet even he understands how badly Lucas blew it. So, between the comments about Qui Gon’s character and the utter muddle of the film’s plot, we get a bunch of goofy comments about women chained in the basement, f-bombs, disembodied voices, and general misogyny. Thanks for making sure I can’t watch this with my kid, filmmaker. So, a lot of useful insight and a lot of distasteful humor.

But this is something I’d expect to see on the annotation market, as I’m going to call it now. Readers as characters–Joe Bob Briggs or Red Mike, dialogs between the reader (as straightman) and an evil alter-ego).

Which would be kinds cool.

I’d envision the market working like this: A year for the book to be on sale. After that time, annotated versions could be sold alongside the un-annotated versions through the same online sellers. Publishers and authors would be able to have annotated versions that were not actual commentary pulled (for instance, a reader who posts their own fiction/fanfiction as annotations to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would not be legit) but would be able to pull annotations because they were excessively critical.

I guess it would never happen in real life, but I like to think about it.

Randomness for 2/2

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1) Darth Vader – James Earl Jones = David Prowse in a plastic mask reading Vader’s lines on set. I can’t help but laugh when I hear him say “I want those plans!” via Keith Calder

2) An officer shoots and kills a criminal, in the officer’s own words.

3) Every news report must be structured like this. via madrobins

4) Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist posts a promotional excerpt of a new GRRM story in an upcoming anthology, and the comments explode with butt-hurt Song of Ice and Fire fans complaining about the delay in the latest book. Normally I suggest skipping comments, but here the comments are delicious. I’m sure someone out there has already made a ASOIAF/DOWNFALL spoof, yeah?

5) The Scale of the Universe. It’s beautiful. It’s like church for atheists.

6) “Will they follow in the lusty steps of their forebears, the Golden Girls?” The nuttiest conservative Christian rant on gays I’ve seen in a while. The author, who apparently has a slight problem with gays who won’t read the articles he emails to them, thinks The Golden Girls sitcom turned a generation of young men into homosexuals, and it’s so wacky (and quotable! “Personally, I do not look forward to the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage”) that there were points where I was sure it was satire. Or irrational hate. Or maybe satire again. No, that’s just more hate. Then I saw the link at the bottom to The Dark Underside of America’s Obsession with Cat Ownership and I swear I have no idea what to think (except: “Gay jetpacks?? I’ll take two!”) via Jay Lake.

7) More Macmillan vs. Amazon.com, discussed on Absolute Write. It’s an 8-page thread as of the time of this posting, but very informative. It’s also pretty easy to tell who are the knowledgeable voices and who aren’t. You even get to see an example of mansplaining with the wild (which is so incredibly rare, I know).

Settle an argument

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There’s a certain movie that I think is Awesome Concentrate but that a certain co-worker claims is a piece of crap. I make no claims that it’s Oscar-worthy–it’s essentially a low-budget B-movie and the first ten minutes are excruciatingly awful–but it’s exactly the sort of thing I love.

For those among you who recognize the quote: “Don’t worry Dave, all we want to do is kill you,” [1] am I right, or am I right?

[1] No Googling! I’ll know.

Five things make a post

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1) The changes my agent has asked me to do have turned out to be surprisingly simple. Not easy by any means, and certainly not quick, but not terribly complicated, either. What she’s asked me to pare away, unify and change are pretty self-contained as far as the overall plot goes. Except the ending. I’m still thinking about the change to the ending.

2) Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking was a revelation. Rupert Everett’s performance in the lead was startling and affecting. The murder plot–wealthy young girls kidnapped from their homes and strangled–wasn’t terrifically original, but the performances were wonderful.

3) Some weeks ago, I posted links on my main blog/website to let people pre-order Game of Cages if they wanted. I went to every site I’d listed for Child of Fire and dug up a link for all of them… except for Barnes & Noble, because the book wasn’t listed yet. It’s still not listed.

Sure, the publication date is seven months away, but it ought to be listed by now, yeah? If, that is, B&N plans to stock the book at all.

4) I really do not need to be distracted by the idea that B&N might not be carrying my book, along with everything that implies. Not when I have a novel to finish.

5) Isn’t “pre-order” kind of a ridiculous term? Some friends pointed this out to me a while ago, but the “pre-order” happens when I’m planning a purchase. Even if the product isn’t available yet, I’m still ordering it, right?

I think I’m going to spend my time thinking about #5 and #1 instead of #4