film

Spectres of the Spectrum

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Over the weekend, my wife and I sat down to watch Spectres of the Spectrum, the agitprop collage film by Craig Baldwin from 10(?) years ago.

It’s an odd experience, as you would expect. The film is largely made up of old footage from cartoon, educational films, commercials, terrible 50’s science fiction movies, and any number of other obscure sources. Tying it all together is original footage shot on a microbudget and relentless, unending narration.

For what it’s worth, the story revolves around a father and daughter, both telepaths and both part of an underground resistance movement struggling against the electromagnetic control of the New Electromagnetic Order. Together, they mine old media looking for a hidden message left by their mother/grandmother telling them how to thwart NEO’s plan to electromagnetically erase the memory of everyone in the world.

But that’s just a frame to hang a long string of juxtapositions. The two leads, being telepaths, “beam” their thoughts at you directly through narration. And the narration is largely taken up with narration about the history of science and technology, with no distinction made between the legit stuff and pseudo-science.

It is, essentially, a conspiracy theorist’s rant, and it’s backed up with images from Grade Z sci-fi monsters and footage of awkward white men in lab coats or military uniforms that undercuts the sincerity of the narrators. It’s simultaneously a critique of modern society and a lampooning of rabid conspiracy theorists.

Part of the fun is sussing out how closely this world is supposed to resemble our own–the narrators are extraordinarily effective at being unreliable voices. Are they the only people able to resist NEO’s “electronic miasma”? Are they schizophrenics living deep in a made-up world, talking with imaginary co-conspirators (including one guy who lives in an orbiting satellite(!)? Or are they living in a separate but similar world, with nuclear zombies and Airstream trailers equipped for FTL space travel?

Did I mention that it’s funny, too?

I’m glad I watched this with my wife, because there was a point in the middle of the film where the urgent, goofball narration became oppressive. I wanted a break from it, because it was draining me the way an obsessive party guest who bends your ear on his favorite topic for an hour can be draining. But she was interested, so I stuck it out and I’m glad I did. The ending was startling and fun.

Check it out.

Dirty Dancing

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I don’t begrudge an actor a role–I realize it’s tough to find work–but Baby was supposed to be 14 in that movie, and Swayze was 34 when they filmed it.

Yeah, go ahead and say it. Yuck.

Of course, Jennifer Grey was 26 playing 14, but still, it was creepy.

Randomness for 9/12/09

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1) Toilet Birthdays. Because every blog needs a purpose. Or every purpose needs a blog.

2) You know that new show The Vampire Diaries? Well, it’s based on some very strange books. Very.

3) “Whiteout” is so staggeringly bad that it achieves a kind of transcendent poetry. It’s ignorant of how things are in the real world, of what makes a thriller a thriller, of why people seek out entertainment. It’s a movie made for an irony-free world populated by impaired moviegoers who are amused simply by shapes and sounds and shiny things…

A chimpanzee could’ve finger-painted a better movie. A chimpanzee, somewhere in the world, probably has.

Attention, chimpanzee: Send your finger-painted screenplay to Tom Skerritt. He’ll sign on for it. He signed up for “Whiteout,” after all.

4) How to hide an airplane factory.

5) Writer Beware examines the myth that you have to know someone to get published. ::raises hand:: As a data point, I didn’t know my agent or my editor before I signed with them, and I didn’t have any connections, either. I did it by cold-query.

6) A Main Force Patrol T-shirt. I’m thinking my friend Mike would love this one, but check out the categories. The designs are really well done. via serialkarma

Did you know I have a superpower?

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It’s true. I have one superpower but it’s a total doozy. Allow me to share it with you:

Whenever I do a cool thing, it stops being cool.

When I was younger, I was like one of those mutants who needed to be forcably recruited to Prof. Xaviers Academy–I used my powers carelessly and caused a lot of grief. I grew sideburns, forcing everyone else to shave theirs off. Whenever I bought a cd by a cool band, they immediately broke up. When a buddy said something I agreed with, I responded by saying “Word.” Within a week, no one was using that expression except my wife, which shows you just how uncool it became. And so on.

Eventually, like one of the professor’s students, I learned to use my powers for good. I’m the one who put an end to people saying “Not!” at the end of sentences. I also put an end to “Chill!” although I regret waiting as long as I did. And, as a sign of my complete dedication to doing right, about ten years ago (before I started shaving my head) I pulled my hair across the top of my head and put a barette in it for an entire day, just to put an end to that horrible fashion trend.

You’re welcome.

And now I’m afraid that I have to use my powers yet again, because the new movie 9 is being called “stitchpunk!” and that’s too damn many “-punks”.

So… (ahem) That new graphic novel series The Boys is really “capepunk!”

There. It’s done. For those who don’t know how this really works, all the old terms are grandfathered in, but it will now be personally embarrassing for anyone to come up with a new “-punk” term.

And that’s fo-rizzle.

Randomness for 9/4/09

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1) Man builds houses for low-income citizens using mostly recycled material. My wife would love this.

2) Arkansas fire chief shot in court room after criticizing local police. Apparently, while criticizing cops who do nothing but write speeding tickets, there was a “scuffle.” The fire chief was unarmed.

It’s interesting that the town where this took place has 147 residents and seven officers. According to the article, they spend their time manning speed traps, but the county sheriff dept. is investigating where all that money went, since the police cars are about to be repossessed.

As yet, no one has been charged in the shooting.

3) The GOP released a press release listing doctors who oppose the current health care reform bills. Unfortunately, the doctors on the list didn’t know a thing about it.

4) Fire ants build a life raft from their own bodies. I understand that it’s almost certainly staged to some degree, but it’s still fascinating.

5) The Coen Brothers make a short film about a man entering an art house theater. It’s simple and wonderful. “A Human Comedy of Sorts.”

Speaking of Randomness

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Here’s something that’s random and 100% AWESOME

via Josh Jasper on the aforementioned health care discussion on John Scalzi’s blog

A New Hope (rebooted)

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I wrote this a while back for another place but forgot to repost it here. Well, here goes.

Rebooting movie franchises is the new black, and I wondered what I would pitch to G. Lucas if I was asked to come up with a rebooted take on Star Wars IV: A New Hope.

This is my take, written very quickly to get it all down. I wouldn’t call it a final version–there’s a bit more to work out, but I’m not going to put the effort in until someone wants to offer me the job.

What classic movie/movie franchise would you reboot?

STAR WARS: The Rebootening

First, let’s acknowledge that the stuff that came as a surprise in the original series isn’t surprising any more. (“That’s no space station!”)

Start with the attack on Leia’s fleeing ship and the escape of the droids. Vader menaces Leia in front of her staff, then whisks her away.

The droids make it to the planet, but they know exactly where they’re going–straight to Owen and Beru’s place.

Luke works on his uncle’s moisture farm, but old Ben Kenobi is a farmhand there. He’s been keeping an eye on Luke for his whole life. Luke, of course, is the secret son of the incredibly-powerful wizard-general of the Empire, and he might be useful someday.

The droids arrive, and Ben takes them off to an outbuilding to “work” on them. Luke complains about having to do Ben’s chores as well as his own, but the adults are tense and nervous about their arrival.

Luke wants to get off the farm, but not to join the rebellion. He wants to pilot one of those Imperial Dreadnaughts–a lifetime of Imperial propaganda has convinced him that the Republic was weak and corrupt. Biggs–an older friend from a nearby farm–says that there used to be a lot more smugglers, bounty hunters, gangsters etc in the old days, but the Empire has been cracking down. (Did you ever notice how *huge* the criminal class in SW was?) Luke, callow youth that he is, wants to be a big man. He wants to get off this measly farm and be *important*. Continue reading

Informal Poll, redux

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It was a comment on another board that prompted the informal poll from this morning. The writer stated that many people went to movies they knew would be awful (Hello, Transformers 2) because they wanted to be part of a big event.

Me, I was dubious, because what “event” could he be talking about? The release of a summer tent-pole movie? Somehow, I doubted it. More likely, I thought, was the surge of online commentary–argument about the plot, parodies, discussions of who’s hawt and who leaves you clammy, whatever.

I should note that I don’t go to movies for this–mainly because I don’t go to movies. It’s impossible to find a baby sitter, and my wife and son already saw PONYO without me (do I resent them for it? Fuck yeah.).

Books, well, I buy them near publication now, to support the author and make sure I have a copy when I finally get around to reading it 18 months later. But I don’t generally buy and devour (except for Harry Potter). Books just don’t have the same urgency.

And finally there’s TV. If enough people talk about a TV show, praise or slam, in interesting ways, I’ll make a point of watching it. I watched CASTLE because of this, and DOLLHOUSE, too. I used to read a lot of commentary on SUPERNATURAL, but it’s fallen off my reading list, and I’m not nearly as enthusiastic about the show as I used to be (for several reasons, actually, but that’s just one).

I also watch a couple shows that no one seems to talk about. AMERICA’S TEST KITCHEN? Anyone? Even notice how it’s the women on that show who do all the cooking and the men are either taste-testing or in the back experimenting on melon ballers or whatever? No?

Anyway, I was just trying to determine what sort of “event” this fellow was talking about.

Informal poll

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Have you ever gone to see a movie in the theater/read a new book right away/rearranged your schedule to watch a TV program because you knew there would be talk about it in social media and you wanted to be part of the conversation?

Attn, filmmakers and lovers of film

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Hollywood producer Keith Calder, who made BATTLE FOR TERRA, THE WHACKNESS, ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE and more has started a blog.

He’ll be talking about his experiences making films, posting anecdotes, and other cool stuff. If you like that sort of thing, here’s something you’ll like.