I don’t want to talk to anybody.
Jesus Christ.
State of the self
StandardI don’t want to talk to anybody.
Jesus Christ.
progress
“On this planet, we are surrounded by danger and MADNESS!”
StandardWell, the poll for chapter one of A Glimpse of Darkness has closed, and my favorite choice didn’t win. If this were politics, I’d be looking over Canadian and Australian immigration websites, but there’s no escape for me. I have a chapter to write.
Actually, I’ve already started it. It’ll be pretty damn good, but you know, we always think about the path not taken.
I must say, though, that I got a late start. I woke early this morning and, instead of rushing out to write, hung around the kitchen baking Biscotti di Regina for my wife (no link b/c the recipe I used isn’t online). After her vacation in Italy, this should be a last treat to ease her back into her everyday life. Too bad she woke up before I was finished and accidentally spoiled the surprise.
Now… Back to work!
I’ll be out of touch today.
StandardIn my day job, I’ll be in training most of the day (I believe). So I’ll be doing something I hate for an organization I don’t care about, and I’ll have to ignore everything that matters to me.
Ah, America! Your support for the entrepreneur never ceases to amaze.
Anyway, I’m way behind in my LiveJournal/blog reading, and I may be missing things. For the past few months, I’ve been thinking of my reading list as an obligation to the people I know online, but I may have to fall down on that obligation today.
Wish me luck in Insurance Verification.
Dear Day: Whoa.
StandardToday was tough. Day job was crazy–one of the clinics had a fire the night before. No one was hurt, but the doc in charge decided they would open to see patients anyway, never mind the ten foot hole in the roof or the fumes in every room that made people’s skin sticky.
They closed eventually, and will be closed for several days, but there were a lot of patients to call and reschedule. Yes, the phones have been crazy.
Also, I went to be early last night, woke up early, and started writing early. Sekrit Project 1 is nearly done–with luck, I’ll finish tomorrow and move on to the essays and interviews I have to do.
I’m still at skip=90 on LJ and I’ve barely looked at Twitter today. The book giveaway posts are already written and scheduled (for this week, at least) and the first book (the Pagels book about Satan) has been won. Tonight I’ll roll a die for Thieve’s Kitchen.
And now it’s time to catch a bus home. Supposedly, traffic accidents have blocked part of my neighborhood–I’m not sure the buses will be running. The Blue Angels have been buzzing downtown all day, so I’m planning to look up as I walk to my bus stop.
Oh, and have I mentioned that I have an ARC of DREADNOUGHT (Cherie Priest’s sequel to BONESHAKER) in my greedy little hands? I haven’t? Well, now you know to be jealous.
I’m off for home. Hope everyone has had a fantastic day.
Head, meet wall
StandardI’m trying to get a package together for my agent (sample chapters and selling synopsis, basically) and sweet mole sauce, have I been struggling. The last couple of months have been stressful–I don’t need to review, do I? Good.–and my daily word counts have been small. Now that I’m in the revision phase, I’m finding all sorts of repetitive and contradictory stuff in there. Characters are introduced twice, the protagonist discusses a clue with a character then decides to hide the info from him 50 pages later, the protagonist is confused by changes to a building he said he’d never seen before.
It’s a damn dirty mess. I really need to work faster on these early drafts, if only to save myself time and effort during revisions.
Anyway, I picked up a bunch of weird books at a yard sale today, and I’ll be slipping out of the library as soon as I dig up a movie for the family to watch tonight. We have a big afternoon of de-cluttering planned, although it remains to be seen which family members will be willing to get rid of some of their belongings (me) and which will not (them). Wish me luck.
“That’s so funny it makes me sad.”
StandardI had another good day working on The Buried King. I’ve pretty much stopped fretting about word count and daily goals–at this point I make note of the page I’m on when I start a session and the page I’m on when I stop. What the hell, right? Keeping careful records wasn’t getting the book done, so I’m not going to bother.
And with the release date for GAME OF CAGES coming up, I have a crazy load of writing to do. That means it’s time for a list! Here are all of the projects I have to complete by at least the middle of August (in no particular order).
- A Big Idea piece for John Scalzi’s blog to promote Game of Cages.
- Another chapter of The Buried King so my agent can send it to publishers.
- A thorough, careful revision of the opening chapters of The Buried King.
- A “shot list” or “shooting script” for the trailer for book 3, which is still called Man Bites World.
- A selling synopsis for The Buried King.
- Clean up chapters 2 and 3 of Game of Cages to post on the blog.
- A write up of the next Kolchak episode.
- A quick polish of an old project I can’t talk about.
And so on. I know there are a lot of writers who could do that in a couple of afternoons, but I’m slow slow slow. This will take me quite a little while to do, but I’m hoping to steal some time this weekend to cross some of these items off my list (and the Kolchak is pretty far down the list of priorities–Sorry to anyone who has been enjoying those).
On top of that, I’m expecting the copyedit for MBW at any time.
Back to the day job.
Having a crappy day at the day job today.
StandardPeople, when you call a company, sometimes the person who can help you is the first person who answers the phone. Don’t be rude to them and don’t try to blow by them to the person you think can help.
Anyway.
As much as I try (try!) to make this blog a not-specifically-about-writing blog, here’s two writing-related things:
First is Rob Sawyer’s post about the end of the full-time SF novelist, and John Scalzi’s reaction.
I’m still sifting through my thoughts on both men’s ideas. I’m a fantasy writer myself, which some people might consider a close, close cousin to “SF writer” but I doubt Mr. Sawyer would agree. So, my experience is not directly transferrable to his, since we write for different but somewhat-overlapping markets.
First of all, as I mentioned in the comments on Scalzi’s blog, health care is a huge issue. I would be a full-timer right now if I were a Canadian and had access to their Medicare system. I doubt I’ll even try to become a full-timer until the Affordable Care Act comes into play, and we all have a chance to see if it works.
Second, also mentioned in Scalzi’s blog, there are a lot of people who make their living off novels. The person who drives the truckload of books from the warehouse to the bookstore is one of them.
But for writers? There’s an awful lot of competition out there, and it’s getting more intense. Every time I see a 4 (out of 5) star review on Child of Fire, I feel like a minor leaguer. If I’m going to try for a career in writing, I need to max out the awesome scale as much as possible.[1] That’s the way to build readership, and that’s the way to maintain an active backlist.
Because it’s the backlist that does the heavy lifting. One of the lessons from Donald Maas’s free ebook on writing, The Career Novelist: A Literary Agent Offers Strategies for Success, was that the writers he represented who earned six-figure salaries didn’t do so with their advances, but with their backlists. That’s what I want, too.
But how much of Rob Sawyer’s concerns come from the recession rather than general publishing trends? Is the type of work he does going out of fashion? Should I dump a bucket of live bait over his head because he uses an offer of three grand for ten days of work as an example of why SF writers can’t write full time?
And for John Scalzi, he’s pretty clear that he’s coming onto the scene in a big way (he’ll become SFWA president tomorrow, among other things)–how will the market look for him in 15 years?
Great, I hope. And for Rob Sawyer, too. I hope the two of them become filthy millionaires, just like me. But Scalzi’s correct that few novelists ever get to quit their day jobs[2][3]; however, just pointing this out doesn’t speak to how many of them can do so in the future.
But this is a really bad time to be making predictions about the publishing industry. The recession is hurting a lot of folks right now, from readers to publishers to us writers, too. New delivery systems are gaining ground, and it’s still too early to judge how far they’ll penetrate the market, or how deeply. Urban fantasy is still doing well, but Christ, does that genre need to be shaken up and broken open.
On top of that, U.S. health care reform may make it possible for me to go full time with my writing. In fact, I’m hopeful that there will be a bunch of positive effects of the ACA, including a reduction in job lock, more new business startups, and more self-employed workers. How great would that be?
Which is just me saying that I want it and hope to get it. I suspect I’ll need to be way more prolific than I currently am, though.
Damn, wasn’t I supposed to talk about two writing-related things? This got a little long, so I’ll put that other topic off until the next post. Also: day job still crappy.
[1] Not that I need five stars from 100% of all readers who ever pick up my book; that would be crazy. I’ll settle for half.
[2] Why oh why didn’t I get a degree and a career back in college when I had the chance?
[3] Dean Wesley Smith talks about how many writers work full-time right now right here. Interesting stuff.
Five things for a Friday
Standard1- You know what’s annoying? Being unable to find a link to an article that you wrote about in your own blog. [added later: found it!]
2- I have a brilliant idea for a multi-million dollar invention: the ultimate alarm clock. Here’s how it works. At the time you want to wake up, it uses orgone energy electromagnetic waves to stimulate the dream centers of your brain. You have a dream where you wake up after the time you were supposed to be at work, and the blind dream-panic wakes you up for real, even in the dismal hours of the morning. Multi-million dollar invention, I tell you.
3- In keeping with my usual computer game protocol, I captured Hill 400 in Call of Duty 2 earlier this week. Soon I can try out Prince of Persia. Maybe tonight. Or maybe I’ll watch movies. Or do both. It all sounds good, as long as my entertainments are all several years old and cheaply acquired.
4- Remember my previous post about stress and my recent inability to write? Well, on Wednesday night I heard Bill Clinton talking about the US World Cup victory over Algeria. He did sound seriously ill (I blame the vuvuzelas) but he praised the team’s “mental toughness.” To paraphrase from memory: Every high level competition, from a championship game to a big election eventually comes down to mental toughness.
I like that! I like “mental toughness” better than “discipline” because the latter sounds like a lot of hard work, but the former sounds like something you just have. I went to bed thinking about it, and woke up on Thursday morning trying to imagine myself as a writer who was also a tough guy–stress doesn’t get to me! I can sit down and do the work whenever I have to, just like a professional athlete! Professional!
Then I opened a book and started reading.
5- That book I mentioned in number four above? It’s The Ivory Grin by Ross MacDonald, and although I’m only halfway through it. Still, it’s FANTASTIC! Maybe what The Buried King needs is not some new mental attitude but a new mental model. Thank you, dead author!
6- Bonus sixth thing! I’m deeply annoyed that day job is too busy for me to read this article of social influence and obesity. Reading it at home is going to seriously cut into my time-wasting time.
Things that suck
StandardOriginally, I was going to write about this somewhere private where I know I could talk it over with a few people I’ve known a while… sort of run through the issues here, but to hell with that. I’m just going to put this out as part of my public face.
Right now, a lot of rotten crap has been going on. What’s the number one thing that sucks? Me.
My wife and son are still out of town dealing with the death of my mother-in-law. I’m here alone, feeling adrift without my family. I’m also stymied by some other problems that I can’t talk about because they aren’t mine. Add the petty time-wasting of my recent Qwest situation, the uncertainty of my day job, personal crap I don’t need to see on the internet and so on, and you have one writer who hasn’t been able to write.
Writers write, yeah? That’s what everyone says. I’ve been writing, too, but I end up cutting or deleting it by the end of the week. Then there are also days when I don’t write anything.
I know I have plot problems to solve, but my head is crowded with stress, worry, and petty resentments. Somehow I need to clear some space, but all of my usual recharging activities–reading, movies, games–are wildly time-consuming. When to I get the writing done? When do I solve the plot problem that’s staring me in the face?
Those look amazingly like questions, don’t they? They’re not. Not really. They’re just expressions of my personal dismay and confusion. I really do want to be a professional writer. I really do want to write. I really love the book I’m working on; I swear to Pikachu it could be awesome. What I don’t have but really, really need, is the mental toughness to fall into story space even when I’m depressed, distracted or upset.
In a bit, I’m going to close my internet for a few hours, and I’m going to be less active online for a while. I need to find that hook inside my mind where I can hang a story.
This doesn’t work
StandardThis is one of those complaining posts, because sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. There will be one positive note included at the end, just so you don’t think everything in my life is petty annoyance. People who hate to read griping should skip to the end.
First: My modem at home has died. I emailed a link to myself from work at 5pm. When I got home at six, the email was there, but I couldn’t connect with the web. After more than an hour with tech support, they decided that I just need to buy a new modem.
I’m counting that time as my “cleaning” time for yesterday. Grrr. Today I need to take a bus clear across town to buy a replacement. Maybe that will be my… I don’t know. Maybe I can’t follow my guidelines today.
Second, after a night of leg cramps and nightmares, I completely overslept. I hate oversleeping, especially on day-job days, because that’s my writing time. So not only was I nearly an hour late for work, but I have written nothing today.
Third, (just to bury the lede) I may be losing my day job. It’s not an ideal job, but I need to be part time on these particular days, or I can’t work here. The company is “reorganizing” (iow, trying to drive out a union for a different dept) by combining all its call centers into one. I will go from being employed by a non-profit to a state employee, which means I’ll be doing the same job, but starting over as a new employee.
That means: new benefits, six-month probation, loss of accrued sick time, an end to my retirement plan, new bosses, new office, new co-workers, etc. Will I still be part-time? Will I keep my same shift? That “hasn’t been decided yet.” They still have to “examine the work flow.”
Did I leave my wife alone in upstate NY to deal with all this family crap because I didn’t want to lose a job I was going to lose in two months anyway? Shit.
Anyway, here’s the upbeat news. I’ve received permission to post Chapters 2 and 3 of GAME OF CAGES online. Chapter 1 is already here, of course, but the next two won’t go onto the internet until closer to completion date (especially considering the work I have to do to get them ready).