Thank you, you beautiful fucking geniuses. Honestly, Dominion is a blast, and my board-game-loving wife was pleased as hell when we played it. She was a little uncertain when she unwrapped it, but it took no time at all for us to be having a blast.
Thanks for helping to make her birthday extra awesome.
Last Thursday was Date Night for my wife and me. It was also First Thursday. That meant we spent our evening looking at Art.
But first, we took the boy to the zoo. Here’s a picture of a wolf:
There are more pics at the set, all taken with my aggressively mediocre point-n-click camera, but you can see the dinosaur exhibit and also a back-alley mural showing gelflings and skeksis from THE DARK CRYSTAL. (Oh, Seattle)
Anyway, we had our date-night dinner at home for once, then caught the bus to the galleries in Pioneer Square. It was disappointing. All of it. I saw so much that was simply dull or uninspiring, or else it looked just like stuff I’d seen before. I mean, I’m sure there’s a buyer out there for landscapes in the Hudson River School, but it doesn’t tweak my interest in the slightest.
As I told my wife, it was disappointing, but I was willing to be disappointed every month for the chance to see something amazing.
From there, we headed up to the SAM. They had a huge party going on for First Thursday and their exhibits of Nick Cave’s Soundsuits.
Now, I thought the Soundsuits were amazing. Seriously. I loved them and found most (but not all) really affecting. There were one or two that made me want to commit narrative on them, but I didn’t feel up to it, creatively. Whatever I could do with them, it would have felt inadequate.
Have I mentioned that my wife went to several different art schools, including the Cooper Union, and that she studied fashion design, too? She responded to my “This is the real stuff” comments with a chilly “What makes you think so?”
From there, we had a discussion of art, of what makes the art community ignore one thing but praise something similar, and of originality. She told me her art teacher back in the 80’s was doing whole suits made of buttons (as some of the Soundsuits are) but that it was dismissed as women’s art. What made this acceptable? Because it was combined with the dance/movement aspect? Because it was made by a man?
Part of the appeal for me was that, according to our guide, the work was specifically without a political or cultural “message,” which several years of First Thursdays have shown me are difficult to pull off well. Interestingly, the young woman giving us a tour couldn’t resist including an anti-consumerist moral to the end of the tour, which spoiled an otherwise good job.
Another part of the appeal was the extraordinary detail of the work done. This led to another difficult discussion, mainly surrounding time, assistants, assistance, and the number of hours we all waste on day-to-day duties. We’ve had this conversation before: My wife is an artist, but she’s also a massage practitioner, a mother, an athlete… there are many demands on her time and interests. What’s more, she’s good at all those things. She loves doing all those things, and despite numerous efforts to arrange our lives so she had time for all those things as well as making art, we can never make it work.
What it comes down to is this: the only way to really make her art schedule work with the life we have would be to send our son back to school, and she doesn’t want to do that. I don’t think she’s all that excited about jumping into the local art scene, either.
I think she’s making peace right now with her choices, and acknowledging that the things making her happy are worthwhile, valuable things, while also acknowledging that things may change again in a few years. But she’s doing what every decent parent does: she’s putting her child’s needs above her own.
Mother’s Day can be a difficult day for a lot of people. Not every mother is a loving one, and there are way too many people who have little reason to love their mothers.
But my wife isn’t one of them. She’s given up a lot for her child, and while this life makes her happy, it’s still a sacrifice. Happy Mothers Day to her and everyone like her.
We aren’t Christians around here, but my wife has certain cultural traditions around the holiday that she doesn’t like to give up. Yeah, she stopped making Pasca because I didn’t like it (clove bread, yug), but no matter how crazy things are, she still steals time to sit down and do at least one of these:
I looks even nicer in real life.
How bad is the bedbug infestation in New York City at the moment? We’re trying to plan a 4-day trip to Manhattan for the summer (after watching the Ric Burns documentary, my son is anxious for the trip) but only for a few days. We’re looking at the Cosmopolitan Hotel for our stay, but I need to be able to tell the fam something reassuring about being bitten in our sleep.
Also, other hotel options would be welcome.
Maybe it’s completely dorky of me, but I haven’t replied to any of the responses to my question about the magic jewel that would change your personality because frankly, I found it to be a little upsetting. Okay, that’s absolutely a dorky thing, but while it seemed interesting however many weeks ago I wrote it and scheduled it, when I started seeing responses (blog, LiveJournal) I got these weird… I don’t know… pangs.
I, too, would like to never forget anything I don’t want to forget! (my poor wife). I would also like to eat only when I’m hungry. I hate my own procrastination so much. That led to other things that weren’t mentioned in comments, like being wildly bored by exercise and cleaning. And so on. It was like a sudden tide of self-recrimination–which is usually fine for me, but I really wasn’t expecting it.
So of course I went to my wife. If I’m going to consider changing one major aspect of my personality, I’m going to check in with her. She may, er, have her own ideas about things I should change.
After joking that it was so hard to choose just one (har har) she settled on an umbrella change that she thought would address most of them: being disorganized. She’d want me to be more organized, not just about my living space or my cooking, but also with my time (and apartment clutter, too, I’m sure). I’m not sure how to phrase that in the context of the hypothetical, but there you go.
I think I’m going to leave self-improvement out of these for a while.
Today, while I worked, my wife and son rode their bikes more than fifty miles. They’re about to collapse into sleep, while I’m feeling restless. I want to work more on my book, but I know I should go to sleep.
Just thinking about it gives me a weird feeling I can’t quite articulate.
1) Quick question: Should I do another August book giveaway to promote Circle of Enemies? I’m not sure it did me any good last time, as far as drawing in new readers, but it was nice to give away cool stuff.
2) My wife and son are spending the day on their bikes, riding the Burke-Gilman trail as far as they can go. That means that, instead of spending the day writing at a Starbucks and the library, I’m going to work at home, sans interruptions. Kitchen floor: swept.
3) What have I been working on? I should be able to let you know very soon.
4) Taxes are nearly done. At this point it’s about printing them, e-filing and transferring the money to the correct account. Also, I was a complete idiot about them this year. Here’s why: I’d been stressing over the bill. Now, we had the money in savings, but I was stressing over it because it would cut quite deeply into our cushion. It was only last night, late, that I remembered that I had a CD with no early-withdrawal penalties set aside specifically for taxes–and it has triple what I need to cover the bill. Phew!
5) I’m not gluten-free anymore. I did lose a little weight, but it was mainly because we didn’t have food available when I was hungry. Me with low blood sugar? Not a good husband. Not a good parent. Besides, it’s unsustainable and unhealthy. Also, it didn’t stop the allergic reactions on my face. (This is an FYI: no diet advice, please.)
I’m about to get back to revising The Unnamed Project but I thought I’d drop in here for a quick post.
I have great news! … which I can’t share yet. Yes, I know, I’ve become one of those tiresome writers who talks about all the awesome things they’re not allowed to talk about. This one won’t be too much delayed in announcing; the contracts should be all signed and ready very soon now.
Gluten-Free! For the first few days I was doing pretty well (and dropping a few pounds) but fell off the wagon. I put the pounds back on and my face is inflamed again. Annoying. I also tried out a few of the apps folks recommended but they were unsuitable for one reason or another.
I tried the free version of the Livestrong app, for example, but apparently there’s no way to put a food into it at quantities smaller than their minimum serving size. Apparently, everyone who has maple syrup eats a quarter cup of it at one go; no one ever just adds a tablespoon to their yogurt. It’s also annoying and I’m not sure if the paid version fixes this flaw.
Galleys for Circle of Enemies! are done. I’m going to make copies of them and then ship they back to Del Rey later this week. There are sections I wish I could iron out–not too many, but some–but I still think this book is the best I’ve ever written.
Science Fiction Conventions! I’m going to one. Norwescon, in this case. I bought a membership over the weekend because I figured I’m supposed to be going to Readercon later this summer and even (gulp!) be on a panel or something, so I should probably go to one as an audience member to see what they look like. I realize they’re not the same sort of convention, but what the hell. I have until the end of April to remember where I left my extrovert mask.
iPad! Finally, a gadget my wife will actually use.
Ebooks for 99 cents! Boy has this been bouncing around the internet for a while. Personally, I’m sure the price of ebooks will drop below the current prices, but I’m not so sure they’ll fall all the way to 99 cents. This indie author has an interesting take on book pricing, mainly because she isn’t interested in the 99 cent market. She doesn’t believe those readers will follow her to other, higher-priced books, and also that they’re kind of a pain in the ass.
Combine that with some other readers out there who say they avoid one buck books because they assume they’re crap, and you see a case for higher prices. It’s pretty interesting and things are changing quickly.
Christ, didn’t I say this was supposed to be quick? Time to work.
The new iPad has had unexpected benefits: In landscape orientation, the keyboard is a good size for my son’s hands and he spent much of last night writing a story. The software eased some of his usual anxieties about writing anything–mainly spelling and penmanship–and he completed over a thousand words of an absurd story called “The Tooth Fairy.” It also helps me see what we need to work on in his schooling. I thought he had quotation marks down, but no.
It’s (past) time to do our taxes and this year I got a recommendation from a successful local writer for an accountant she uses. There are three main problems: One is that it looks like I’d be filling out forms for him that are like Turbo Tax forms which he, presumably, will then enter into his own version of tax software. Assuming we’ve been doing our taxes correctly (more on that later) this seems like paying for data entry–is there any real benefit to using a professional? Two is that they don’t quote a specific rate. This is what they say:
Tax return preparation fees are based on a per form fee or an hourly rate schedule; whichever is most appropriate, on a client by client basis. Hourly rates vary depending on the staff member performing the work and the complexity of the work itself. In addition, direct expenses may be charged when applicable.
That’s as specific as it gets. We didn’t earn all that much last year, so I have no idea what they’ll actually charge us, but it’s likely that we can’t afford it. Third is that my wife thinks problems one and two are bullshit and we might as well Turbo Tax again this year.
Me, I’d hoped to uncover some extra deductions and go over quarterly taxes with him. See, I don’t do quarterly taxes, preferring to take the relatively minor penalty (about a hundred bucks) to avoid all that estimating and paying early. That should probably change, though. Does Turbo Tax even do that for me? It’s not like I have a lot of money coming to me this year beyond the on-publication payment for Circle of Enemies–I need to sell another book or two, and I have no idea if that’s even going to happen.
Sigh. It looks like another year of Turbo Taxing, unless someone has better advice
Exactly one week ago I had an egg sandwich for breakfast… and I immediately started sneezing and my nose started running like crazy. When I told my wife, she gave me a finger-wagging and blamed it on wheat gluten.
She’d seen a nutritionist two weeks earlier and came home to tell me we were going to be giving up wheat flour. She’s done it, too. Her body shed ten pounds very quickly and the weird red, rough skin… thing that’s been troubling both our faces for a long while immediately cleared up for her. Now she’s making scary noises about giving up wheat for good.
The sketchy thing is that her nutritionist has told her that the gluten clogs the spaces between the villi in your intestine. Me, I’m doubtful about that, but the results are there even if I’m doubtful about the mechanism.
I couldn’t join in right away, because I’d just gone grocery shopping and I wasn’t about to throw out all that damn bread. Still, the last shop was pretty much wheat-free and it’s time for me to join in. And I will. With luck, my face won’t be red and inflamed, and I’ll drop some of this extra weight. Weighing less will hopefully mean less pain and therefore more exercise. Current goal: live long enough to see my son graduate from college.
Anyway, the iPad is going to be recruited to this effort–I just need to find a good calorie counter/wellness app to download. (Suggestions more than welcome–accuracy and ease of use are my top considerations). The thing about giving up wheat is that I’m hungry all the time. I can eat a big bowl of curried rice, veg, and chicken but it will never be as satisfying at the same amount of pasta. I don’t mind being hungry–I’ve done some pretty severe fasts in my time–but it’s important for my wife to know she’s getting all the calories she needs, even if they’re more complex than they used to be.
So… any thoughts on going gluten-free? Any iPad wellness apps to recommend? What about those writerly tax problems? (No advice on the boy and his story, please; it’s still too new.)
Thanks.
When things are so awful in Japan. There’s not much I have to say on the subject, since I’ve had Mac Freedom on most of the day and have missed much of the news. Still, if you want to do something to help, check this out.
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Is anyone even remotely surprised that James O’Keefe’s gotcha video that caused the firing of an NPR fundraiser and the forced resignation of their CEO was in fact dishonestly edited to be a hit piece? No? Of course not. That’s what this guy does.
Credit where it’s due: it was Glenn Beck’s people who did the investigating. Good work, folks.
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Finally, personal stuff. Guess who just failed her saving throw against The Shiny? My wife. We bought an iPad for her yesterday.
Most of the people reading this won’t know her and won’t know how honestly astounding this is. She has no patience or interest in online digital culture (beyond a few basic things like TED Talks and emails from friends). She doesn’t like the way computers operate–she’s always asking where is this and where is that, how do you…Nothing is ever straightforward enough for her.
Also, she’s severely dyslexic and dysgraphic–reading is a slow process and writing legibly can be very stressful. This means that, except for a couple areas of personal expertise, she has a way of talking around the things she wants done and can be vague at times, relying on the listener to interpret what she wants. Computers don’t do that, of course. You can’t tell it to put the thing away and you can’t mix up one word for another. You have to accommodate it, not the other way around. And her eyesight, never very good (like you’re surprised?), is getting worse.
But she liked the iPad. It’s portable for in the home, the fonts can be set quite large and the screen can be made white text on black. Also, it turns out the ereader features were less interesting to her than the idea that she could take all of her addresses and phone numbers off the random scraps of paper they’re on and save them for herself.
What’s more, some of the apps are tempting as hell. I’m buying Sketchbook Pro for her soon and Animation Creator HD, too. The hard thing will be to keep the boy from loading it up with games he wants to play. He’s already pressing me to buy Fruit Ninjas or whatever that is (and I confess that I spent much of the time in the store playing Angry Birds and Cut The Rope).
Anyway, this will give me a reason to use iTunes now, which I’ve been avoiding like crazy, since the iPad has no file structure. We’ll see how it goes.