Well, my day is already blown

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I overslept by two hours this morning, and those early morning hours are pretty much solid writing time. That makes me mutter curses and plan to abandon my kid to the Wii later today, but we’ll see.

So instead of posting something original, I’m going to cut and paste an email I sent to a friend. He asked (generally) for links to websites that would help an aspiring novelist FOAF. This is what I sent:

I’m only going to give four suggestions:

First, he should buy a copy of CHILD OF FIRE and study it closely. In fact, he should buy two in case the first copy disintegrates after multiple rereadings. And a third, to give away, I guess.

Second, he should read Slushkiller, along with *all* the comments:

http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html

It starts out as a discussion of rejections, and how professionals judge submitted work, but the conversation ranges over many topics (and even features a typically batty appearance by former WP-er Frank/Franchesca to defend self-publishing).

It’s long, though. Longer than many novels. He should stick with it and read the whole thing.

Third, check out the Learn Writing With Uncle Jim thread on Absolute Write:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710

The first volume of that thread is 251 pages long, with 25 comments on each page. It’s so long, though, that it was sealed off and a second volume started in the same novel forum. Again, it’s long, but it’s full of useful information.

It’s also been running for seven years. A little of the information is outdated, but it’s corrected in later parts of the conversation.

Fourth and finally, he should be reading agents’ and editors’ blogs. Start here:

http://pubrants.blogspot.com/

And look at the sidebar. First of all, her numerous posts about the way publishing works are fabulous and full of detail. Second, her list of other agent blogs is terrific. The budding novelist should go through those blog rolls and find a few informative blogs to add to his RSS feed. It’ll be trial and error, but it’s important. While he’s working on his craft, he should also be studying the industry.

And that’s a lot of reading, no kidding. That’s a double shitload. But it’ll be fun to read, because writers should be interested in the industry, and doing interesting things is awesome.

And now, and anti-rec: Here’s a list of people the budding writer should not waste their time on:

Anyone who says that NY publishers are closed to new writers.
Anyone who says that editors only want to publish their friends.
Anyone who says that they can’t get published because of their politics.
Anyone who says that you have to write short fiction to break in to novels.
Anyone who says that writers shouldn’t bother with small presses.
Anyone who says that most of what’s published today is crap.
Anyone who says that the big publishers are “dinosaurs”.

Good luck.

Frankly, I think those few links provide a buttload of reading, but if anyone wants to post a link or two of their own, I’ll drop him a note–since I don’t think he reads my blog (melodramatic sigh)–to check out the blog and LiveJournal comments for his FOAF.

Have a productive day.

New word: compastion

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Compastion: n. The uncomfortable feeling you from reading a thank-you-everyone-for-all-the-kind-comments-and-emails-during-this-difficult-time post when you know you could have offered a comforting word but didn’t.

Fun with words

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How do you guys feel about “spasm” as a verb?

Signal Boost

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Support rape crisis centers and enter to win an Advance Copy of Red Hood’s Revenge, by Jim C. Hines.

Randomness for 4/2

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1) Quentin Tarantino is playing a smurf? Um, okay, I gues.

2) Protecting IP the stand-up comic way. One of my friends was (unfairly) accused of joke-stealing. It was painful to see him (voluntarily) ditch a ten-minute routine about sitting at the big table over Thanksgiving because someone else had a single joke about it. This probably deserves its own post, but I’m not the one to write it.

3) I liked Speed Racer, too. However, I don’t have to call it an “art film” to justify that. It was definitely inventive and non-realistic, and it had a powerful emotional affect on me. I’ve been meaning to rewatch the ending to examine that a little more.

4) Insectophobes, do not click! That sucker is two and a half feet long. If you drown in deep waters and your corpse sinks to the bottom, that thing will be one of the creatures feasting on you.

5) Batman goes to jail for stalking L&O actress. Fate of his two daughters, Harleyquinn and Batgirl, undecided. (More seriously, if you’re a famous person, you get stalkers–freaky, creepy ones–and the only way they hit the news is if they’re colorful in some way or it’s a slow news day.)

6) Beautiful new library in Battery Park.

7) Big house vs short commute time: Which will make us happier? It’s interesting how this just assumes people will be in cars. I wonder what variables public transit adds in? Personally, I like my bus time; it’s pretty much the only dedicated reading time I have left.

Two things for today

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First, if you run an independent book store, please, take five minutes every week to look over the new movie releases coming in, say, a month from now, and find out if it was adapted from a book. A new movie release is fantastic publicity for the book version, and you wouldn’t have to do more than stock a few by the counter to make a few impulse buys.

Second, I’m about to log off and work on Key/Egg/Remark. This being spring break for schoolkids, I find myself in the strange position of not having my homeschooled child in the apartment. His best bud from across the alley is off school this week and attending a week-long day camp–therefore, my son wants to be there with him. It’s like a week-long day play date!

So dinner is simmering in the oven, coffee is ready to brew, and I’m going to try for another 1500 words on the WIP. If I make 2000, maybe I’ll play a Wii game or something as a reward.

Have a great day, everyone.

Randomness for 3/27

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1) The fully compiled results of Jim Hines’s First Novel Survey.

2) Marriage vs. PhD. via @ccfinlay.

3) I’m sure this guy can get a divorce at the same court appearance when his wife gets her conviction.

4) President Obama’s Facebook page, HCR edition. “I smell Democrat.”

5) Literary troll is trollish.

6) What can surprise Werner Herzog? “It’s not a serious wound.”

7) The future of text?. They’d like you to think so.

5 Things Make A Friday Post

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1) I finished up chapter one of Key/Egg/Remark this morning. Actually, I was slightly late to day job because of it. But doesn’t it feel good to start a new project? Hell yes. I’ve been writing Ray Lilly stories for years (and I hope to write more of them–buy my book) but it’s such a relief to go into another voice, another setting, another tone.

2) And yeah, as the previous point demonstrates, I have a working title for the next project. The plan is for it to be lighter in tone, much less violent, much more conversational, and slightly closer to the urban fantasy mainstream (although tweaked in the ways I like to tweak things–most of the characters, and especially the villains, will be human beings). I hope the working title does what it’s supposed to do, which is keep the tone light and the story clever; it’s too easy for me to go dark.

3) A few weeks ago, someone pointed out that Kindle owners were putting one-star reviews on books that didn’t have a Kindle edition, or that were priced above ten bucks. The reviewers even said, in the review, that they hadn’t read the book and weren’t going to until the price and format were to their liking. I clicked the “report this” button and within a few days the review was gone.

Well, Amazon.com has stopped taking those reviews down. I guess it’s because they think those angry Kindlegarteners are doing something useful for them. They could, if they wanted to, limit reviews to people who have bought the book from them. They could, if they wanted to, post a request in the forums asking people to stop, and to use the link under “Tell the Publisher!” But they won’t.

Because they’re dicks.

4) Back to items one and two: Key/Egg/Remark is totally on spec right now. I haven’t even run the idea by my agent yet. In truth, I suspect it has some… let’s call them “non commericial elements”

Am I a fucking moron? You bet! But it’s what I want to do. And rather than talk about the idea with my agent, I’d like to try to win her over with the story.

God, I’m an idiot. I should just write a steampunk YA about a teenage inventor and track star who teams up with his roboticized girlfriend to steal a military dirigible and raids an arctic lab to recover her human body. And the villain would have an implanted monocle-like eye piece and a hyper-intelligent talking cat who switches sides at the last minute.

5) I forgot to mail my taxes today. Duh. I’ll do it tomorrow.

As I write this

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This book has a better sales ranking than mine.

Randomness for 3/17

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1) My son’s latest Lego stop-motion movie. Actually, it’s part one of a longer story, and yeah, I provide voiceover work. (But just a little).

2) Margaret Atwood sings!

3) Did you know that Amazon.com sells cans of uranium ore? Here’s one of the customer reviews: “I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.”

4) Teal and Orange – Hollywood, Please Stop the Madness!

5) Rob Liefeld’s Dreams Are One Step Closer To Reality “You know, I really like shooting this machine gun, but I really wish I could be shooting another gun at the same time,”

6) “Die Hard in a tattoo” Someone’s a little crazy for that movie.

7) Dan Savage talks to the young woman at the center of the “Lesbians made us cancel the prom!” scandal. Also, you can find ways to help at the end of the article.