There’s what you plan, and what you do


I’d meant to post a quick update on the guy who body-slammed a moving bus Wednesday night (lacerations, broken wrist) but instead I’ve been distracted by and it’s endless parade of furry boots with hot pants, hateful T-shirt slogans, epic plumbers’ cracks, pimp outfits, too-short skirts with no underwear, cellulite, high heels with hot pants (on dudes), animal prints, hair cuts that make a mullet look like a ‘do from a 5th Ave Salon, costumes, bellies protruding from tiny shirts, schizophrenics who dress themselves, kids on leashes, clothes made from trash bags, people with monkeys (seriously, why so many monkeys?), cars with random shit glued to them, hair styles meant to look like a toupee, hair styles meant to look like animal parts, hair styles meant to look like obscene gestures, yellow go-go boots with hot pants (on dudes), and complete grownups walking around with fake animal tails.

I… I just don’t understand it. Is this my country? Are these my people?