WTF, MSN?

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I get my internet through Qwest MSN, which is reasonably affordable and doesn’t make me want to stab people to death.

Usually.

The big problem with MSN is that their webmail is a complete fucking disaster. For ex: A friend posted to a mailing list I’m on about adapting scripts to prose, and my webmail response turned five or six paragraphs into ONE 225-WORD BLOCK OF TEXT!

Microsoft! HOW CAN YOU BE GETTING THIS SO WRONG! When I hit the enter key, it’s because I want to put in a line break! If I do it twice, it’s because I want there to be a blank line between two small blocks of text!

THIS IS THE CUSTOM OF MY PEOPLE! We call them “paragraphs.”

Seriously, how fucking useless can you be? How can this be a big challenge to you? Just leave my fucking line breaks in place so I can email people without looking like a dumbshit. Do I really need to change my email address/ISP/email client because of your incompetence?

No! No, I do not. I’m not going to change anything. YOU ARE GOING TO FIX THIS PROBLEM!

Randomness for 9/29

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1) The Dead Sea Scrolls are available online.

2) A flowchart guide to NPR’s top 100 sf/f books. “Enjoy stories about orphaned farm boys?” “No.” “Tough.”

3) M&Ms viewed through water drops.

4) How not to impress a publisher. And it’s all true, which won’t surprise anyone.

5) How to peel a whole head of garlic in ten seconds.

6) Photos of supers in their off moments. Of course Wonder Woman is the only one in a sexual activity and, um, considering the history of the character… Never mind. Love the Spider-man, though. Via Bill Martell.

7) Edible super-hero logos. Hellboy in chili is perfect, but I doubt the Punisher has ever gone near soy yogurt in his life.

The news is public: My editor is retiring.

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Betsy Mitchell, editor-in-chief at Del Rey and my editor, is accepting early retirement from Random House. She’ll be leaving at the end of the year, at which point I’ll have a new editor. It’ll be David Pomerico, who did such a great job on “A Glimpse of Darkness.”

For her, this means she can stop riding the subway every day and won’t have to attend a whole bunch of meetings. I understand she’ll be opening an editorial services company sometime in the future and, considering what an amazing editor she is, I’m sure she’ll have a long line of clients waiting for her help.

For me, well, I learned a helluva lot from her and I’ll be sorry not to work with her anymore. She was always responsive, fair, and most importantly, she laughed at my jokes. (Some of them, anyway.)

Oh, yeah, and she helped make the Twenty Palaces books way better than I could make them on my own.

Anyway, all things are transitory and I’m glad to have had the chance to work with her. As for the future of Ray Lilly et al, there’s nothing to announce yet.

A thoroughly unscientific survey of ebook buyers

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How do ebook readers choose which books to buy?

The results, while not necessarily reliable, fall pretty much in line with what we know about print books: “Others said it was great” and “I’ve enjoyed this author’s work before.” That’s why reviews are so important for writers when they’re just starting out.

Randomness for 9/26

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1) A die to cure writer’s block. It jingles when you roll it, so that has to be worth $45.

2) How many continents are there? Video.

3) Joe Lansdale beats the hell out of his son-in-law (in a martial arts exhibition). Video. As always, I’m a little dubious about this stuff, but it’s still cool to watch.

4) This is odd. via @mizkit on Twitter

5) Beautiful, anonymous paper sculptures being left at Scottish Museums.

6) Soon-to-be Father of the Year photoshops Ewoks into family photos to convince kids they are real.

7) A fantastic new webcomic.

This is how today went:

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Me: “Hey, book.”

Book, still sprawled out all over my life like the non-rent-paying couch-surfer it is, looks up. “Hmm?”

Me: ::Punches book in the face so hard it flies through the window, over the city, and lands in an open grave. The impact is so powerful that the piles of dirt on either side collapse onto it, burying it completely.::

Me, an hour later: ::Saunters up to grave, a celebratory burger in one hand, a marble tombstone tucked under the other. Drops tombstone in place and takes out broken, petrified femur stolen from Dorothy L. Sayers’s coffin. Kneels down and carves “A KEY, AND EGG, AN UNFORTUNATE REMARK” at top of headstone with bronzed tip. Below that line, carves “Agent has called this one to judgement.”::

Me: ::Walks away, eating burger::

(Actually, I haven’t sent it to my agent yet. I have to prep a nice little thing to accompany it it first.)

Sorry I’ve been so quiet here

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I’ve been pushing to finish A Key, An Egg, An Unfortunate Remark and clocking some serious family time.

Plus, my brain has been incredibly boring lately.

The French version of CHILD OF FIRE came out last week

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And I didn’t even know!

Here it is. It even has a five-star review already.

Talk Like A Pirate Day Officially Cancelled

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It’s official. So don’t.

While I was away:

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Quick updates here:

While I was away I submitted a revision of a short story to a shared-world anthology (details to come) that was received quite well.

I received my final check for my current contract with Del Rey, which my stupid bank is going to hold until next week even though they’ve promised they wouldn’t have to do that any more and I have enough in my fucking account to cover it. (Good to have new money, though).

I made good progress on the revisions for A Key, An Egg, An Unfortunate Remark, having solved the notes my agent gave me. I hope I’ve solved them, anyway.

Finally, I dealt with a hundred minor annoyances that I couldn’t tweet about. Hmph.