From the Department of Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time…

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I installed, then uninstalled WordPress Stats. It seemed like a simple Google Analytics replacement (and I was fascinated… fascinated to discover that someone found my blog by searching for “golden girls” homosexuals’) but the negatives were too great.

What were they? Well, I couldn’t post to my blog. As soon as I deleted the plugin, the problem went away. So now I have to choose a different Google Analytic plugin so I can continue to ponder why the Lego diorama post and #Agentlove are still getting so much attention.

Completing the circuit

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FB users, this is an embed. Click through to watch it.

Randomness for 3/17

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1) My son’s latest Lego stop-motion movie. Actually, it’s part one of a longer story, and yeah, I provide voiceover work. (But just a little).

2) Margaret Atwood sings!

3) Did you know that Amazon.com sells cans of uranium ore? Here’s one of the customer reviews: “I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.”

4) Teal and Orange – Hollywood, Please Stop the Madness!

5) Rob Liefeld’s Dreams Are One Step Closer To Reality “You know, I really like shooting this machine gun, but I really wish I could be shooting another gun at the same time,”

6) “Die Hard in a tattoo” Someone’s a little crazy for that movie.

7) Dan Savage talks to the young woman at the center of the “Lesbians made us cancel the prom!” scandal. Also, you can find ways to help at the end of the article.

“I write it because I want it to come true”

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A few discussions and comments online have prompted me to revisit some old ideas. For instance, Charles Stross recently brought up the whole fantasy-is-a-pro-monarchy genre idea, and James Nicoll touched on writers working in genres where the “core political assumptions” (such as contempt for the rule of law in UF) went against the writer’s personal beliefs.

Leaving aside the Stross comment, which I’ve sniffed at before, let me throw a question out to you: Do you read/watch/consume entertainment because you want your real world and real life to be modeled after it?

I think of this as a specifically science fictional protocol: Writers creating worlds in which they want to live (or, conversely worlds they don’t want to see come true, as in “If This Goes On…” stories). I don’t read or write that way, personally. I don’t read war stories because I want to spend time in a bunker. I don’t read gritty crime fiction because I want to have a knife-fight in an alley. I don’t read fantasy because I think hereditary heirs really make the best tyrants.

I think most people feel this way. Does the true thrill of a Spider-man comic come from the way he circumvents the judicial system? Not for me.

Still, sometimes a book will go in a direction that pushes my political buttons. Nick Mamatas has said he will not cheer for a cops who catch the bad guys by breaking the rules. That’s fair enough, although I enjoyed the hell out of the first Dirty Harry movie when I was younger and less aware of the implications. But does that mean I wanted a real-life Harry Calahan? Not then and not now.

So, is it just that we, as a culture, have certain blind spots to iffy political assumptions in our entertainments? Do our individual subcultures have institutions or norms that we like to see rejected or portrayed as baddies (like environmentalists, or the military, or government bureacrats)? Do writers have an obligation to create stories that are true to their belief system? Rule of law=good thing. Flouting rule of law=not so good thing? Or are we free to do something else entirely with our fiction, and to hell with the so-called message?

Because lemme tell you: I may write about vigilantes, but that doesn’t mean I’m pro-vigilante. But do you see Child of Fire (if you’ve read it) as a pro-vigilante novel?

I’m curious what others think.

This is the kind of nice guy I am

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I’m going to give you a fantastic but easy apple gingerbread dessert for St. Paddy’s Day. Why? Because I care about you and your taste buds, that’s why.

Sherwood, you’ll want to skip right over this.

Preheat the oven to 350F. Core and peel a pound and a half of apples. Then slice them up into half-inch pieces and mix with 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp lemon juice, 1/2 tsp lemon peal and spread it out in the bottom of a greased 8X8 inch baking pan.

Sift 1 and 1/4 cups of flour, 1 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp ground cloves into a small bowl. We generally use the dry powder ginger, although if you’re a purist who can’t abide the idea, you can peel and grate a tsp and a half of whole ginger and add it to the next bit.

In a large bowl, cream 1/4 cup of butter with 1/2 cup of sugar. I use the stand mixer for this. After they’re well-mixed, add one egg and 1/2 cup molasses. Not the black strap kind. Gross. Beat until smooth.

Finally, put 1/2 cup of water on to boil. When it’s bubbling strong, toss in 1/2 tsp baking soda.

Beat the molasses mixture, alternately adding the flour mixture and the boiling water. When it’s all mixed nicely, pour it over the apples and slide it into the oven. Bake for about 45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, then cut into squares and serve warm with fresh-whipped cream.

It dirties a few bowls, but it’s so very worth it. It was even worth it back before we had the stand mixer and I had to cream the butter and sugar with a wooden spoon. My wife loves it and this year, because I’ll be day-jobbing during the day, she’ll be making it herself.

But that’s dessert. The main course will be reuben sandwiches; two years ago we realized we didn’t much care for the boiled potatoes and cabbage, only the leftovers the next day. Now we skip the meal I grew up eating every March 17 and went straight to the good stuff. Thank you, modern times, for helping us treat family traditions with the contempt they deserve.

This is damn clever

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Stick with it to at least the midpoint for a nice twist. (Facebook people, this is an embedded video; you can watch it at the blog, if you want.)

I know I shouldn’t do this, but I can’t help myself

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I know I should not compare my book with other writers’ books–their distribution, their sales rankings, their bookshelf presence–but I do it anyway. It’s stupid and destructive, yeah, but there’s a part of me that feeds on that feeling of failure.

A couple of days ago, Sherwood Smith talked a bit about authors who blame readers for their own lack of success. I didn’t comment because I’m so far behind on my online reading, but for me, I always blame myself. That self-disgust and self-recrimination makes me focus on improving my work.

Which may be why I think Man Bites World is the best writing I’ve ever done. It was the hardest and the most complex, but I’m really proud of it. At the same time, I’m scrutinizing it for flaws, and gritting my teeth over every choice that would have been better if it had been written by someone else.

I don’t know. This is my weird process: I love the things that work as though they’re separate from me, and I despise the things that fall short as personal failures.

Pushing the Envelope in Urban Fantasy

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The book I’m reading right now (without much enthusiasm, I must say–it was published in 2008 and includes a glossary of Yiddish words at the front. Am I such a dumbass that I do no know what tuckus means? Or chutzpah? This book thinks I am) is very safe and uninteresting. The book next in queu just the opposite.

I’ve mentioned that I’m a slow reader–I often don’t get to a new book in time to help promote a new release with a positive review; yes, I’m useless that way. The next book on my tbr list is the first Amanda Feral novel, Happy Hour of the Damned, which author Mark Henry once described as “Undead bitches eat people.”

So… anti-hero! Also humor that pushes people’s buttons, risks offense, dares to be outrageous–Actually, let’s just say, as the subject header reads, “pushes the envelope.”

So I read with interest this writeup of the new book on the B&N forums. Is the book tasteless? Offensive?

The author himself talks about the difficult things he’s done, including working with the mentally ill and “medically fragile” populations, and how so much cynical and dark humor comes from a place of grief and self-protection.

It’s very interesting, especially in a genre like UF, which is becoming more formulaic all the time. What new things can writers try? How can they break through reader expectations to create something new?

I’m damn tempted to toss my current novel aside and jump to the next in line.

Best Day Job for Writers

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Wanted: Couch Potato.

Two cool videos my son found online

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Both, of course, having to do with Legos