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WTF, MSN?

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I get my internet through Qwest MSN, which is reasonably affordable and doesn’t make me want to stab people to death.

Usually.

The big problem with MSN is that their webmail is a complete fucking disaster. For ex: A friend posted to a mailing list I’m on about adapting scripts to prose, and my webmail response turned five or six paragraphs into ONE 225-WORD BLOCK OF TEXT!

Microsoft! HOW CAN YOU BE GETTING THIS SO WRONG! When I hit the enter key, it’s because I want to put in a line break! If I do it twice, it’s because I want there to be a blank line between two small blocks of text!

THIS IS THE CUSTOM OF MY PEOPLE! We call them “paragraphs.”

Seriously, how fucking useless can you be? How can this be a big challenge to you? Just leave my fucking line breaks in place so I can email people without looking like a dumbshit. Do I really need to change my email address/ISP/email client because of your incompetence?

No! No, I do not. I’m not going to change anything. YOU ARE GOING TO FIX THIS PROBLEM!

Let the rage begin

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Here’s a news article that encapsulates so much of what is wrong with my country. Parents discover that high school English teacher writes racy novels.

Let’s start with the way it was written. The byline is “Staff” so I can only assume no one had a keyboard to type out individual sentences, since this reads like they tried to cut and paste the article from outraged emails. Maybe they could only use their mouse with the right click?

Let’s continue with the article itself: Why do these parents care what their teacher is doing in her free time? Times are tough and people need to make ends meet. If the woman has a second job, let her work.

Second, who cares if she’s teaching high school during the day? Is she reading erotica to her students in class? Is she pointing out the best pron sites on Tumblr (as opposed to letting the kids find that themselves)? No? Then STFU. If it bothers you that your kids know their teacher writes erotica, don’t tell your kids. It’s called having common sense.

What’s more, I remember being a teenager. I didn’t need any encouragement to think about sex in the classroom. I was a teenager! Thinking about sex was pretty much the only thing I was competent at.

What’s more, who cares if teens think about sex? Really, do you think you can control them that much? Quick note to those parents: When your teen rides in a car looking out the window, they’re thinking about sex. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s healthy. It’s what they’re supposed to do.

But of course I expect this poor woman to lose her job, since kicking around teachers is the new national sport.

Now I have to go back to this thing I’m supposed to be revising.

Bedbugs in NYC

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How bad is the bedbug infestation in New York City at the moment? We’re trying to plan a 4-day trip to Manhattan for the summer (after watching the Ric Burns documentary, my son is anxious for the trip) but only for a few days. We’re looking at the Cosmopolitan Hotel for our stay, but I need to be able to tell the fam something reassuring about being bitten in our sleep.

Also, other hotel options would be welcome.

5 Things Make a Post

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1) I have three things left to do before I send Twenty Palaces to my agent: clean up some formatting issues like chapter headings, spellcheck, and check every instance of “him” in the script to see if I should have changed it to “me” when I went changed the book from a third person pov to a first person pov. So incredibly dull but I’m really catching some embarrassing errors, like “I jumped to his feet.” Oh well.

2) Here’s my Norwescon schedule:

Friday: Whatever I want.
Saturday: Whatever I want.
Sunday: Stay home and hang out with my son.

Hah! I’ll be there as a regular attendee, mainly to look around and see whatever this is to be seen. It’ll be my first convention, so I don’t expect to know anyone. If you’re going to be there and you see me, please feel free to say hello. I look like this. Also, I have a terrible memory for faces and names, so don’t be offended if it takes me a couple of seconds to “place” you.

3) Seattle is enduring the coldest April on record. I’m sorta sick of it.

4) Revisions on Twenty Palaces have taken control of my life. I can’t wait to send them off, if only so I can go back to responding to comments promptly (as opposed to passive-aggressively complaining on my blog, like this post) and reading books. Honestly, I can’t wait to spend some hours every day reading.

5) This NY Times article (only available if you haven’t used up your 20 articles/month) isn’t the first time I’ve heard that fidgeting has a powerful effect on weight gain and loss. I’ve been using my standing desk more often (thanks to the Topricin my wife just bought me) but I attribute most of the weight I’ve lost recently to the fact that I’m getting the sleep I need. I still have a long way to go, of course.

Three things I’m thinking about

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First, we were due to get 2-6 inches of snow last night, but something crazy apparently happened and the snow fell and stuck everywhere but right here in Seattle. I know there are some of you out there who are sick of snow, but I have a little boy here who wants to slide down a hill on a flattened cardboard box. We need some kid weather.

In fact, it’s snowing right now but nothing is sticking. I should probably bring him home a treat.

Second, I’m working on this thing, and it’s taking way longer than it should. Even when I devote hours and hours to it, I only plod through a couple thousand words. Tim Pratt, on the other hand, just kicked out an 8,000 word day (yes we are supposed to compare ourselves to other people, so hmph on you). It’s frustrating and annoying.

Third, with regard to the second point, I’m seriously considering a week-long internet fast. It wouldn’t be enough to finish this project, but it would help. Has anyone done it? What did you think?

New post at Antipope

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My new post is up at Antipope: It’s about the (just passed) 80th anniversary of the premiere of Legosi’s Dracula. Did you know that Universal made a second Spanish language version of that movie at the same time as the Legosi version? English-speaking actors did their scenes during the day and Spanish-speaking actors used the same sets at night.

I compare them and discuss revision. Check it out, if you want.

More pix from the Twenty Palaces trailer shoot

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This is the last weekend for pickups for the trailer for the Twenty Palaces trailer. I think so, at least. Production is going on down in L.A. and I’m not sure whether they’re planning to get every last shot. I think so, though.

Here are some pics:

Twenty Palaces shoot 3

You know what always improves a movie? Trains and train tracks.

Twenty Palaces shoot

Not what you want to find on the floor of your garage.

More at the set.

Randomness for 12/25

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1) Bronte Sisters Power Dolls! Video.

2) Burglar posts a photo of himself w/ stolen loot on his victim’s Facebook page. The cops were notified, but said burglary is such a low priority they wouldn’t bother with the case. Luckily for the victim, his dad writes for the Washington Post.

3) How A Christmas Story should have played out.

4) Rudolph (You Don’t Have To Put On The Red Light) Video.

5) The True Meaning of Christmas at Everything is Terrible. Video.

6) Santa Clause is Coming To Town, recut as a horror movie trailer. Video.

7) Comics writer Bob Haney’s version of Batman Saving Christmas.