I’m just jealous that I didn’t think of it first


Via Writer Beware:

Stuck for a gripping opening to your latest opus? The Avocado Papers want to help aspiring writers by selling them opening paragraphs for their stories at the low, low rate of $1.75 a word.

Here’s a sample paragraph:

The President was in a pensive mood as he wondered what sort of arc his second term would follow, and idly surveyed what he believed to be the Washington Monument (but which was, in fact, the Capitol) through the tinted, bullet-proof windows. It had been a tough day, but as his motorcade sped along the edge of the Mall some minutes later, his body tensed as he thought about how lucky he was to have a Secretary of Defense who was so good at sucking cock.

For only $152.25! For non-exclusive rights!

Which is hilarious.

And yeah, this site is from last July. Also, they seem to specialize in satire. I wonder if they’ve actually managed to get money out of this?