Love it.

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POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD

Randomness for 3/14

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1) Headlines illustrated.

2) What’s in Spock’s Scanner? Video. This is honestly hilarious. via Tor.com

3) A really beautiful truck crash.

4) Could many cases of ADHD really be caused by food hypersensitivity?

5) This shadow art is amazing.

6) This is amazing, too, but also chilling. Satellite photos of Japan before and after the earthquake.

7) A pro scriptwriter in L.A. tells how she broke in, complete with clueless commenters. Another pro writer straightens those clueless commenters out.

Randomness for 3/9

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1) Cognitive Scientist records 90K hours of his own child’s language development, then graphs it. Soon to come to a TED Talk near you.

2) Andrew Wheeler’s syllabus for his non-existent sf course. I think it would be better served to address some of what happened in the 19th century, even if it was just an overview in the first week.

3) The Muppet Alignment Chart.

4) I wish every review of a reality TV show was this good.

5) Organizing a bookshelf: Video. There are so many simple ideas that work magic as stop-motion. Thank you, computer revolution.

6) A nearly-incomprehensible map of science fiction.

7) The internet is full of wonderful things: Carl Sagan’s Old Spice commercial as an animated gif.

Bonus 8th thing! Soylent Green isn’t the only thing made of people! Now “castles” are, too! Video.

Beauty and the… Oh fer chrissakes.

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Inspired by Genevieve Valentine’s review of BEASTLY, I thought it would be fun to think of some other “Beasts” that Mary-Kate Olsen can lay curses on… until they’re saved by love! Yay, love!

BEAUTY AND THE CARDBOARD LONGBOX:
Beauty: A struggling young actress who once had a minor role in a successful sf/f series.
Beast: The Cat Piss Man who saves her from…
Bullshit Reason They’re Forced To Live Together: Beauty is accused of the murder of a creepy convention organizer and must hide out until she can clear her name.
How Beauty Can Tell Beast Cares For Her: DVD collection of her show placed suspiciously close to bottle of hand lotion.
Why Beauty Falls For Beast: Saves Beauty by disarming real killer with home-made light saber. Also: Absorbs villain’s low-penetration handgun fire with his considerable bulk. Also: Showers. Also: Throws out his “good” sweatpants in favor of the Dockers his mom bought him last Christmas.
Who Does Beast Transform Back Into When Kissed: Fit, handsome producer of SyFy Originals who is currently looking for a female lead for his new cable TV series.

BEAUTY AND THE RESCISSION
Beauty: Hot widowed mom with a sick child
Beast: Hotshot health insurance adjuster with a rep for turning down claims
Bullshit Reason They’re Forced To Live Together: Um, a hurricane traps them in the hospital?
How Beauty Can Tell Beast Cares For Her: Finds his signature on the form approving the experimental procedure that could have (but didn’t) save her husband’s life.
Why Beauty Falls For Beast: He slips her the proper forms she needs to get her child’s medication approved. Also, he secretly pays the $600 hospital bill for the bottle of baby aspirin the child spilled.
Who Does Beast Transform Back Into When Kissed: An unmarried Canadian

BEAUTY AND THE CROSSPOST
Beauty: Beautiful but mildly near-sighted hippie
Beast: Usenet libertarian in full blowhard mode.
Bullshit Reason They’re Forced To Live Together: God, this one’s a challenge. Zombie apocalypse leaves them the last living humans on the planet?
How Beauty Can Tell Beast Cares For Her: They find a third living person, a woman 3 years younger than Beauty and with better eyesight, but he doesn’t switch.
Why Beauty Falls For Beast: New younger woman turns out to be a Fred Phelps supporter, making Beast literally the nicest person in the world.
Who Does Beast Transform Back Into When Kissed: Whatsername from RESIDENT EVIL.

BEAUTY AND THE HOMETOWN CANDIDATE
Beauty: Gorgeous political spokesperson
Beast: “Family Values” politician
Bullshit Reason They’re Forced To Live Together: She needs the work to pay for her mother’s operation. He’s in a tight race and can’t be trusted to speak off script without a gaffe.
How Beauty Can Tell Beast Cares For Her: He breaks up with his boyfriend. Also his wife of 18 years and their four kids.
Why Beauty Falls For Beast: Charmingly fumble-mouthed. Changes his votes for gay marriage and increased health care spending. Recommends her for a better job as a lobbyist. Ex-wife and children turn out to be kinda awful.
Who Does Beast Transform Back Into When Kissed: An unmarried Canadian

BEAUTY AND THE HARDWORKING WOMAN
Beauty: Rich, handsome, immature man
Beast: A mildly-overweight, plain-faced woman who runs a homeless shelter. Part should be played the the sort of actress who plays the heroine’s annoying cousin or the sexually non-threatening neighborhood mom.
Bullshit Reason They’re Forced To Live Together: Beauty gets community service after a Charlie Sheen-themed party.
How Beauty Can Tell Beast Cares For Him: She informs his probation officer that he spends most of his time at the shelter primping his hair instead of working, prompting the judge to add 2,000 additional hours to his sentence. Obviously, she can’t bear to see him go.
Why Beauty Falls For Beast: Helping people… It feels kinda good, you know?
Who Does Beast Transform Back Into When Kissed: Didn’t I mention? There’s no enchantment in this one. The woman running the shelter thanks Beauty for his interest but she’s already dating the head of the local tenant’s union and doesn’t he have some mopping to do?

Oh, heh, yeah. That’ll never fly. Might as well go with the Cat Piss one.

(Seriously, has anyone made a version of Beauty and the Beast with the gender roles reversed?)

Randomness for 2/26

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1) Five reasons so many movies suck.

2) Teacher tries to reach students via a book she writes, in which they are characters. School board objects to drug and sex references, not to mention the “Mr. Gay UK” stuff. You already guessed the rest.

3) Judgmental bookseller ostrich.

4) Hamster-powered walker.

5) Childhood pictures re-enacted. I have to admit, I love these, but I don’t think I could do it. One picture may be NSFW because it shows a woman’s breast.

6) Dance a dance designed by communist committee.

7) Predator, the musical. Video. What it says on the label, and pretty funny.

Randomness for

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1) Now this is a brilliant film trailer: Baby trashes bar. Video.

2) Wildly successful self-published author Amanda Hocking on What It Takes.

3) An appreciation for a show I’ve been watching: The Adventures of Pete and Pete.

4) Samurai fights his own shadow. Video. This is really beautiful and well done.

5) The 50 worst band photos ever. I haven’t looked at all of these yet, but yikes.

6) Facebook ads in a superhero universe. The last one is priceless. I’m tempted to do this for urban fantasy universes.

7) I love this: What happened to the bullies at the end of THE NEVERENDING STORY? Video. Via Matt Staggs at Suvudu.

New post at Antipope

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My new post is up at Antipope: It’s about the (just passed) 80th anniversary of the premiere of Legosi’s Dracula. Did you know that Universal made a second Spanish language version of that movie at the same time as the Legosi version? English-speaking actors did their scenes during the day and Spanish-speaking actors used the same sets at night.

I compare them and discuss revision. Check it out, if you want.

Randomness for 2/12

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1) What it costs for a best-selling ebook.

2) Screwed-up versions of the Star Spangled Banner down the years.

3) The Malcolm Gladwell Book Generator. Just click “Generate New Bestseller.”

4) The Rocky Horror Batman Show. Heh.

5) You know what party cat likes? Parties.

6) Vimeo Video School.

7) Kickstarter, doing what Kickstarter should do.

Movie and book

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Last… spring, I guess? my wife, son, and I went to the movies and, before the film, saw a preview for Harry Potter 7, part one. My son turned to me and said “I want to see that.”

“You can’t. You haven’t read the book yet.”

He hadn’t been interested at all in Harry Potter until then, but that was all the urging he needed. Later that week we pulled book 1 down off the shelf and read them aloud in the evenings. Most evenings, anyway.

I’d forgotten how funny those early books were. Sometimes we were laughing so hard that the reader had to put the book down until we’d composed ourselves. And, somewhere in book 4, he became sick of it and we had to drag him back in.

We finished the last book today. My wife cried during several of the final chapters, especially “The Prince’s Tale,” “The Forest Again,” and “King’s Cross.” I don’t know what anyone else thinks, but whatever Rowling’s other faults, she wrote the hell out of “The Forest Again”. That chapter is one serious kick in the ass.

SPOILERS for the series.

I can’t help but wonder how much behind the scenes information the filmmakers had from Rowling. There’s a scene near the end of movie 3 in which Lupin transforms into a werewolf and Snape steps in front of the three kids. It’s clearly a brave, heroic move, and nothing at all what you’d expect from a true Death Eater.

The situation doesn’t even come up in the book; Snape is still unconscious when Lupin changes (the whole werewolf scene is quite different). They also telegraph the romantic relationship between Ron and Hermione much earlier.

Anyway, the books were terrific this second time around–very satisfying. I know a lot of people hated Harry around book 5, but I couldn’t help but see him as suffering the after-effects of Cedric Diggory’s murder. My wife, who never reads fiction (except mine), really loved the books, too.

As for the new movie, the animated story of the three brothers was the best part, but the movie wasn’t terribly by any means. The three leads have matured nicely as actors, and they managed to introduce several necessary but film-neglected characters smoothly. None of it had the thrills or the hopelessness of the books, but it worked on its own.

This whole series deserves a more in-depth post, but it’s late and I’m sleepy. Considering everything that’s been going on, I’m not seeing myself putting together an real analysis of the books, the films, or the changes that happened in adaptation.

Randomness for 2/7

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1) The Facebook comment decision flowchart.

2) Passive-aggressive notes to your readers are probably not a good idea.

3) Cthonians!

4) Want to read the series bible for the modern BSG?

5) The web sit alignment chart.

6) Backyard fight gets out of hand. Video. Dude should have left his light saber at home.

7) Photos of criminals in Sydney during the 1920s. Amazing photos. Just amazing. Taken from this book.