words

Interview today, and other stuff

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I had my interview with Sohaib Awan at http://www.fictionalfrontiers.com today. It went pretty well, I think. I was damn nervous, but I didn’t stammer too much, and I don’t think I did the quiver-breathing thing I sometimes do.

It will probably air next Monday (or the Monday after that) between 5-6 pm, on WNJC 1360AM Philadelphia, simultaneously webcast on http://www.wnjc1360.com/. After that, there’ll be a podcast to listen to, if you can’t catch it live. I’ll post a link when it’s available.

Also, the first thing I did this morning was to give one last read-through of my Big Idea essay for John Scalzi’s blog. Good thing, too, because Christ was that opening paragraph stilted. It’s been sent off now. Hopefully, it’ll be well-received.

Today I mailed out the first batch of books, too. I called Random House to order more, but I’m thinking I need to have some sort of plan targeting where I’m going to send the rest.

And, finally, I had a morning meeting with my director buddy, about the movie we (mostly he–I just wrote it) made, and what the next step for him was going to be. He has another one of my scripts, a vampire script about infidelity and bad marriages, which he’s hoping to set up somewhere, but he first needs to find out what he can get from the walking-dead-on-TV movie we already shot. In any case, it was good to see my friend again.

Violating unwritten rules

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Here’s something that bugs the hell out of me in books:

Say you have a character who is an experienced bad-guy-fighter. Also say your character is facing bad guys who are desperate or ruthless. Here’s a new rule: Don’t tell me your protagonist is shocked because the villain has done something that “breaks an unwritten rule.” Don’t tell me they’re outraged at the crossing of a line that “everyone knows” shouldn’t be crossed.

It makes them sound sheltered and naive. It makes them sound stupid.

Suppose two characters are fighting in an alley. One thinks the fight should be a fair one, following the rules of a boxing match. The second goes straight for a crotch-kick.

When that first guy is lying on the ground, covering his exploded balls with his hands, should he be griping about the unfairness of ti all? Well, maybe, if you want him to come across as a fool.

Most people are decent, but there are always a few who will do any damn thing at all. They beat their aged parents and steal their money to buy beer. They kidnap little girls off the street and hold them prisoner for decades. They lynch. They rape. They burn your house down.

So if your character is going to be shocked shocked that their drug dealer shows up at their day job for their money, or that the secret vampire arch-duke will try to get at them by biting their delightfully-quirky grandmother, I’m going to think they’re… well, see my comment above about “sheltered and naive.”

There are ways to make that work, of course. If the drug dealer is harassing you at work because your son owes him a lot of money–something you didn’t know about–that might work. If two brothers get into a fight over a woman, and one brother tries to avoid permanent harm right up until the other pulls a knife, that would work, too.

But that’s the context. If you’re writing about a vigilante, a cop, or some kind of hired muscle, they should be expecting their enemies to cross lines and break rules, unwritten or otherwise.

Randomness for 9/16

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I was planning to take a break from these for a couple days, but the universe has other plans.

1) The Philadelphia Free Library is closing for lack of funding. The city of my birth is about to join southern Oregon as a place I will never, ever live in.

2) On a lighter note, a haiku about the Sub-mariner, in comics form.

3) The Dan Brown sequel generator, which I can’t see at work. Is it funny?

4) Birth of a meme! “Whose responsible this!” via glvalentine

5) Dungeons and Dragons, the sodas! I’m going to be all over Digby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer.

Quick question re: UF protagonists

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Is there an urban fantasy series featuring a much-older woman? I have a few UF novels on my to-read pile–and of course I see many in the stores–but the women on the covers seem to be in their thirties or younger.

Is there a Miss Marple (meaning, in her sixties or older) in urban fantasy, even a motorcycle-riding, katana-wielding Miss Marple?

Randomness for 9/10/09

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1) MightyGodKing offers an interesting take on secret identities for two of the most iconic superheroes in comics.

2) The browser on my work computer won’t let me comment there, but Genreville’s Josh Jasper draws the line and I am in complete agreement with him. That bullshit should never be tolerated.

3) A review of The Playboy Sheikh’s Virgin Stable Girl. (Weirdly, the URL has “playbot” instead of “playboy,” which is not a thought I needed to have right now.

Did you know I have a superpower?

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It’s true. I have one superpower but it’s a total doozy. Allow me to share it with you:

Whenever I do a cool thing, it stops being cool.

When I was younger, I was like one of those mutants who needed to be forcably recruited to Prof. Xaviers Academy–I used my powers carelessly and caused a lot of grief. I grew sideburns, forcing everyone else to shave theirs off. Whenever I bought a cd by a cool band, they immediately broke up. When a buddy said something I agreed with, I responded by saying “Word.” Within a week, no one was using that expression except my wife, which shows you just how uncool it became. And so on.

Eventually, like one of the professor’s students, I learned to use my powers for good. I’m the one who put an end to people saying “Not!” at the end of sentences. I also put an end to “Chill!” although I regret waiting as long as I did. And, as a sign of my complete dedication to doing right, about ten years ago (before I started shaving my head) I pulled my hair across the top of my head and put a barette in it for an entire day, just to put an end to that horrible fashion trend.

You’re welcome.

And now I’m afraid that I have to use my powers yet again, because the new movie 9 is being called “stitchpunk!” and that’s too damn many “-punks”.

So… (ahem) That new graphic novel series The Boys is really “capepunk!”

There. It’s done. For those who don’t know how this really works, all the old terms are grandfathered in, but it will now be personally embarrassing for anyone to come up with a new “-punk” term.

And that’s fo-rizzle.

An R-rated Harry Potter

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Over on his blog, Nathan Bransford is asking people if children’s books should have ratings, the way films and video games do.

Me, I think this misses the point. Books don’t need ratings stating which age groups they are appropriate for. All that does is embarrass readers who are enjoying a well-written adventure that lacks cursing or violence, and makes kids seek out forbidden ratings.

What I want are labels. Here is my suggested list:

Rated S: Contains stereotypes
Rated HP: Contains “helpless princess” characters who must be rescued by a male character.
Rated J: Contains Jingoistic attitudes toward foreign peoples/governments
Rated MN: Contains “Magic Negro” character with no life beyond the assistance character gives to Our Hero
Rated DA: Contains dead animal for purposes of unbearable pathos
Rated DV: Contains characters and plotting that you’re seen a hundred times before, but might be new to an 8-yo.
Rated LM: Lacks Monsters or other supernatural elements.
Rated MBS: Mocks Belief Systems
Rated NF: Not as Funny as it thinks it is.

Any others I should have included?

Randomness for 9/7/09

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1) MightyGodKing’s latest Stab at Relevence, the card game.

2) F=MA? Or F=MAWill(MagicNecklace)? From a blog created by filmmakers planning their first hard-sf indie feature film.

3) RT Book Reviews gives Child of Fire four and a half stars. (I hope that’s not out of ten) Unfortunately, I can’t read the review because I don’t subscribe.

4) Don’t settle for cheap knock-offs! A dieselpunk ray gun commercial

5) Outrageous burgers across the nation. Starting with, you guessed it, a burger with a donut for a bun.

6) 20 Neil Gaiman Facts. Reader, I lolled.

Spirit Gate and Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft

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Two books. First is Spirit Gate by Kate Elliott. One of the reasons I’m looking forward to my speed-reading book (which I’ll start any day now!) is that it will let me get back into epic fantasy. This book was over seven hundred pages of great story, wonderful characters, and fully-textured setting. The tone is very visceral and real, even when the subject is a giant eagle and rider.

I was a little disappointed by one or two things (I’m rarely a fan of prophecies, except when they’re really done well) and the pace lagged in the middle. The characters pulled me through, though. Fun stuff.

I have the second book sitting by the desk, waiting for me to learn to read at 40,000 words a minute or whatever, so I don’t have to spend three months on only one book.

Second is Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft by Joe Hill (and some artist guy). I haven’t read any of Hill’s other work, but this was a very effective scary little comic. The structure of the story is jumbled in a pleasing way, hopping around in time to tell the story from several angles. No, it’s not especially revolutionary, but it’s good which hasn’t always been a given in the comics I read lately.

It’s also grim. It’s a horror story, after all, although Gabriel Rodriguez’s art (see? I can copy off the cover) undercuts that a bit. The art’s not bad at all–in fact, it’s awfully good–but I’m not sure it’s appropriate. I mean, it’s very comic-booky art, in the way he draws eyes, hair, tears, and so on. It’s very traditional superhero.

But it’s also incredibly expressive, and each character has his own look beyond the color of their hair and outfit (readers of superhero comics know what I mean). So I can’t say it’s bad art, just that it feels wrong.

This one is well-recommended, too, if you don’t mind stories that are a little on the dark side.

Informal Poll, redux

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It was a comment on another board that prompted the informal poll from this morning. The writer stated that many people went to movies they knew would be awful (Hello, Transformers 2) because they wanted to be part of a big event.

Me, I was dubious, because what “event” could he be talking about? The release of a summer tent-pole movie? Somehow, I doubted it. More likely, I thought, was the surge of online commentary–argument about the plot, parodies, discussions of who’s hawt and who leaves you clammy, whatever.

I should note that I don’t go to movies for this–mainly because I don’t go to movies. It’s impossible to find a baby sitter, and my wife and son already saw PONYO without me (do I resent them for it? Fuck yeah.).

Books, well, I buy them near publication now, to support the author and make sure I have a copy when I finally get around to reading it 18 months later. But I don’t generally buy and devour (except for Harry Potter). Books just don’t have the same urgency.

And finally there’s TV. If enough people talk about a TV show, praise or slam, in interesting ways, I’ll make a point of watching it. I watched CASTLE because of this, and DOLLHOUSE, too. I used to read a lot of commentary on SUPERNATURAL, but it’s fallen off my reading list, and I’m not nearly as enthusiastic about the show as I used to be (for several reasons, actually, but that’s just one).

I also watch a couple shows that no one seems to talk about. AMERICA’S TEST KITCHEN? Anyone? Even notice how it’s the women on that show who do all the cooking and the men are either taste-testing or in the back experimenting on melon ballers or whatever? No?

Anyway, I was just trying to determine what sort of “event” this fellow was talking about.