Nothing bad can come of this

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Fran Kuzui Rebel did such a fantastic job with her original Kristy Swanson version of Buffy The Vampire Slayer that she and her husband are working on a Joss Whedon-less reboot.

Which is probably a bad idea, okay? Seriously. The original movie stunk in an amazing variety of ways, not least because the superpowered heroine of the story had to be saved by her lunky unpowered boyfriend. Because a girl with superpowers becomes the equivalent of a boy.

Don’t miss the comment section at that new item, though. My current favorite:

I’m convinced half the posts below were written by Whedon himself. No viewer is that much a fan of any TV producer. Knock it off Joss.

I don’t believe in favorites…

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… But I do believe I have a new favorite email subject header.

It’s “check to send.”

Please use this subject line in all future correspondence with me.

I haven’t even seen the movie

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But this Star Trek parody is freakin’ hilarious.

First, some links, then some me

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1) It’s real because it’s science: Gay marriage causes earthquakes! Darn pulses of gay energy. (via Andrew Wheeler aka antickmusings)

2) Man arrested for calling 911 because his drive through order at McDonalds did not include a juice box. Expect to see this on notalwaysright.com in the next couple days, although it sucks that the employees were laughing at him because he couldn’t speak English well. How many languages do they speak?

3) How many Canadians flee their crappy health care system for our fantastic American system? Practically none! In fact, the idea that our northern neighbors avoid wait times by crossing the border is politically expedient bullshit. Meanwhile, a million California residents a year seek affordable health care in Mexico, which doesn’t even count the hospitals in Thailand and India that are specifically built to handle American patients.

4) Marvel Comics attempts to draw in women readers with series about large-breasted models. Can you see how this would fail? ‘Cause I sure can’t. Isn’t every female comics reader hoping to see Mary Jane Watson team up with a revamped Millie the Model to solve a crime?

5) Oh, look! It’s the classiest logo of all, for National Fist Bump Day. I’m sure their T-shirts will sweep the nation.

6) And now I link myself, which sounds vaguely dirty. Thank you to everyone who offered to read an ARC of Child of Fire. I will forward your addresses.

Comments on that post are screened, so I’m not going to unscreen them to respond. However, I have your addresses. Thanks, again.

A link for you:

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Scratch.

What is it, you ask? It’s a free, simple, entry-level animation program that allows anyone (although it was designed for kids) create short videos, games, or whatever else you want.

The program was designed at M.I.T. to give young people the ability to create their own media. I myself am not “young” by any stretch of the imagination but I downloaded it (for my, um, son. Yeah, that’s right. My son.) and found it surprisingly easy to use.

If you’ve ever wanted to make your own goofy videos or games, check it out.

CA Supreme Court: “Gay Marriage Ban Stands”

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The California Supreme Court has upheld the initiative banning same-sex marriages in that state.

Which is shameful for the state, but that’s what the people have chosen. Personally, I believe CA needs to seriously reform its initiative process, which was instituted to make Sacramento politicians more responsive way back in 1911. At this point, though, the initiative process has driven the state to fiscal disaster and stripped citizens of their equal rights.

Someone needs to step up and change the status quo, and for the change to be most effective and successful, it should be someone outside the judiciary. An initiative to end initiatives?

Dorktosterone, Part 2

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DEADLIEST WARRIOR.

Isn’t it enough for me to say “Viking vs. Samurai”? Isn’t that enough?

Maybe not, because this show is the epitome of dorktosterone. The hosts bring in guys who talk in deadly earnestness about the superiority of their patron warriors’ weapons and technique, which they demonstrate on some conveniently immobile targets.

Then the hosts “whoa!” over the chopped and punctured mannequins, and everyone talks about splattered brains.

And they pick the winner by running hundreds of computer simulations! Say no more! I’m convinced!

To make thinks even more delicious, an upcoming episode is billed at “IRA vs. Taliban.” Stay classy, Spike TV!

Dorktosterone, Part 1

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Just a couple weeks ago, MTV broadcast the sixth and final episode of season one for BULLY BEATDOWN (watch full episodes at this link), a new reality TV show that had me gaping at my tube.

Here’s the quick description: Jason “Mayhem” Miller, an MMA fighter who hosts the show, meets with young men who say a bully is kicking them around. These aren’t high schoolers, they’re grownup adults in their early twenties. Mayhem and victims together confront the bully in a public place, where the host waves $10,000 under their nose, telling them it’ll all be theirs, if their willing to go two rounds with a professional fighter in their own weight class.

Of course, if they get their ass beat, the money goes to their victims. And the bullies agree.

I’ve only seen four episodes, and they’ve all followed a very set structure. Mayhem in car introducing show. “Audition” video of the victims asking Mayhem for help. Mayhem meets victims. Mayhem and victim make offer to bully. Bully shows up at the fight gym to show what skills he has. Fight day: Bully preps for the fight with the trainer, who prompts him to say something nasty about the victims, and the bullies stupidly oblige (“A lot of my victims deserve to be bullied”). Victim meets the pro for that fight. Then, they get in the ring and the bully takes a nasty beating in front of a booing crowd, and everyone revels in it.

Afterwards, the bully promises to change his ways.

And really, without that final scene, which is almost certainly total bullshit in whatever passes for the real story behind these guys’ lives, but without that scene this show doesn’t even make sense.

“Vince” is a guy who answered a Craig’s List ad for an apartment vacancy and then beat up his roommate instead of paying rent. “Eriq” made copies of his ex-girlfriend’s car keys, then wrecked it, and he beats up anybody she starts to date.

What these guys really need is jail time, because they’re not just assholes. They’re criminals. And sure, the show wraps up with the bully humbled, often apologizing, but I’d be really curious to see if it took.

Still, watching these guys get the puke beat out of them is a fine, fine thing.

“KIRK, a Captain, in the service of Starfleet”

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Wm. Shakespeare writes STAR TREK (“Amok Time”).

Sun!

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It is gorgeous and sunny right now. I’m sitting by the huge window at the library, thinking about the next step in Man Bites World.

When I came back to it a week ago, I jumped to about the 6K word mark, hit enter a bunch of times, and started writing a sequence that I’d been putting off but that really needed to be early early early. I wanted to keep it down to about twenty five hundred words, but it’s actually a little more than double that, because I can never seem to judge how much space and detail each plot beat needs. Hopefully, that will improve.

Still, the sequence has a great deal of suck in it. I know what’s wrong, but not specifically how to fix it. I’ll make a couple quick notes to myself, jump to the end of the draft, (which is now nearly 40K words) and push on from there.

Which means I won’t hit my new word goal for today. Ah well. I’ve reviewed the rest of the draft, changing things to accommodate the new section, so maybe that counts. Or maybe I should do a few hundred more words.

In other news, my buddy received his copy of Child of Fire yesterday, and so far he likes it. I’ll be calling him in a couple hours to coordinate travel plans for San Diego Comic-Con.

The organic open air farmer’s market started their season today. There are many more lunch and snack stands this year, and much less produce. Huh. I’ll still swing by later for fresh Basil and tomatoes.

Actually, I’ve just decided I don’t care about making my goal. It’s freaking gorgeous outside. I’m going for a nice, long walk.