weirdness

Randomness for 2/2

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1) Darth Vader – James Earl Jones = David Prowse in a plastic mask reading Vader’s lines on set. I can’t help but laugh when I hear him say “I want those plans!” via Keith Calder

2) An officer shoots and kills a criminal, in the officer’s own words.

3) Every news report must be structured like this. via madrobins

4) Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist posts a promotional excerpt of a new GRRM story in an upcoming anthology, and the comments explode with butt-hurt Song of Ice and Fire fans complaining about the delay in the latest book. Normally I suggest skipping comments, but here the comments are delicious. I’m sure someone out there has already made a ASOIAF/DOWNFALL spoof, yeah?

5) The Scale of the Universe. It’s beautiful. It’s like church for atheists.

6) “Will they follow in the lusty steps of their forebears, the Golden Girls?” The nuttiest conservative Christian rant on gays I’ve seen in a while. The author, who apparently has a slight problem with gays who won’t read the articles he emails to them, thinks The Golden Girls sitcom turned a generation of young men into homosexuals, and it’s so wacky (and quotable! “Personally, I do not look forward to the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage”) that there were points where I was sure it was satire. Or irrational hate. Or maybe satire again. No, that’s just more hate. Then I saw the link at the bottom to The Dark Underside of America’s Obsession with Cat Ownership and I swear I have no idea what to think (except: “Gay jetpacks?? I’ll take two!”) via Jay Lake.

7) More Macmillan vs. Amazon.com, discussed on Absolute Write. It’s an 8-page thread as of the time of this posting, but very informative. It’s also pretty easy to tell who are the knowledgeable voices and who aren’t. You even get to see an example of mansplaining with the wild (which is so incredibly rare, I know).

There’s what you plan, and what you do

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I’d meant to post a quick update on the guy who body-slammed a moving bus Wednesday night (lacerations, broken wrist) but instead I’ve been distracted by http://www.peopleofwalmart.com and it’s endless parade of furry boots with hot pants, hateful T-shirt slogans, epic plumbers’ cracks, pimp outfits, too-short skirts with no underwear, cellulite, high heels with hot pants (on dudes), animal prints, hair cuts that make a mullet look like a ‘do from a 5th Ave Salon, costumes, bellies protruding from tiny shirts, schizophrenics who dress themselves, kids on leashes, clothes made from trash bags, people with monkeys (seriously, why so many monkeys?), cars with random shit glued to them, hair styles meant to look like a toupee, hair styles meant to look like animal parts, hair styles meant to look like obscene gestures, yellow go-go boots with hot pants (on dudes), and complete grownups walking around with fake animal tails.

I… I just don’t understand it. Is this my country? Are these my people?

That’s something you don’t hear every day

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Last night, on the bus ride home from work, the bus driver said something unexpected:

“A pedestrian just ran into my bus!”

Now, when I heard that, I was immediately reminded of all those accident descriptions on insurance forms, where drivers claim that trees suddenly jumped out in front of them, or that old men leap onto the hood of their moving cars. But as it turned out, that’s just what happened.

As the bus was driving down the street in the right lane (I’d say it was going about 30-35 mph) a guy jumped off a retaining wall, sprinted across the pavement and slammed himself into the side of the bus.

I didn’t hear the impact. (Ironically, I was reading Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why.) I’m told he survived–an ambulance came for him quickly, and someone who’d seen him said they couldn’t tell how badly he’d been hurt, because he was covered with blankets. I didn’t go near him, because I didn’t want to see anything nasty. I have enough anxiety as it is.

Was it a drunken, mistimed suicide attempt? Was he trying to injure himself to spend a night at a hospital? It did happen just downhill of a long-term homeless encampment.

I’ll never know, I guess.

It’s not “selling children”. It’s “selling parenting rights.”

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The (supposed) moral implications of selling children according to libertarians.

Having said that much, I’m sure you know exactly what you’ll find at the other end of that link.

Randomness for 9/5/09

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1) People, I ask you: if we’re going to promote AIDS prevention, should we really be turning to Adolf Hitler pron?

2) How content aggregation explains that the upside of contracting AIDS is “The Spanish Civil War.” seen via tnh’s Particles.

3) New Japanese prime minister’s wife once flew on a space ship to Venus. I’m just going to assume the sex is fantastic.

Randomness for 9/4/09

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1) Man builds houses for low-income citizens using mostly recycled material. My wife would love this.

2) Arkansas fire chief shot in court room after criticizing local police. Apparently, while criticizing cops who do nothing but write speeding tickets, there was a “scuffle.” The fire chief was unarmed.

It’s interesting that the town where this took place has 147 residents and seven officers. According to the article, they spend their time manning speed traps, but the county sheriff dept. is investigating where all that money went, since the police cars are about to be repossessed.

As yet, no one has been charged in the shooting.

3) The GOP released a press release listing doctors who oppose the current health care reform bills. Unfortunately, the doctors on the list didn’t know a thing about it.

4) Fire ants build a life raft from their own bodies. I understand that it’s almost certainly staged to some degree, but it’s still fascinating.

5) The Coen Brothers make a short film about a man entering an art house theater. It’s simple and wonderful. “A Human Comedy of Sorts.”

“Maybe you were abused in childhood…”

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Mr. Smooth Talker leaves a pair of voice mails for a woman he’s interested in and comes off sounding like a complete ass.

You can listen to both voice mails at the link above. Together they’re only four and a half minutes long.

While you folks are thinking about Worldcon

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And arguing about Hugo winners, I will continue with my lifelong quest to be behind the times by posting… San Diego Comic Con photos!

Most people see a person in costume and ask them to pose for the picture. Which they do. Me, I liked taking pictures of them while they were looking at their watches, impatiently waiting for a pal, or sitting in a corner for a rest. What I wanted most was a picture of a cosplayer eating one of those sandwiches out of the plastic clamshell, or maybe a hot dog, but it was not to be.

Candid!

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But here’s one picture that’s not candid:

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Yeah, that’s me posing beside a poster for the book

You can see pictures of my panel, my signing, and the people at the con by skimming through the set.

Here’s one for the ladies.

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You’re welcome.

Didn’t I say I this would be my best post ever?

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In case you haven’t noticed, the President has been appearing in a lot of comic books lately. You don’t need me to link them–or maybe you do–but considering the appearances he’s made so far, I guess I should have realized that this was inevitable:

Barack the Barbarian cover

Yes, it’s “Barack the Barbarian” a retelling of the 2008 presidential election in the form of a Conan comic from the ’70’s. It’s full of bloody murder, girls in leather bikinis, and a barechested Barack high-fiving the Amazon warrior “Hilaria.”

America: A country so fucking crazy, even Johnny Depp had to leave.

The best part is that it’s actually funny. Continue reading