funny

Randomness for

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1) Easy newspaper article, type 12: Carefully selected dumb student answers.

2) Author Jackie Kessler breaks down the problems with “Harlequin Horizons”.

3) Photos of a river of hydrogen sulphide in Mexico. via Jay Lake

4) Fish on Europa? via Jay Lake

5) A beautiful animated book trailer that fails to promote the book. Sound, people. If the image is a little out of focus or awkwardly lit, people will muddle through. But if the sound isn’t right, nothing’s right.

6) Smash putt!

7) Twilight: New Moon. “However, last year in the line, I did interviews, where I handed out a list of ten things and asked for which ones happened in the books. Seven or eight out of ten got circled. Then I pointed out that the list was ten warning signs that your partner is becoming abusive or controlling, and asked what they thought of Edward’s behavior in this new light.

Responses included, “I wish a guy loved me enough to treat me that way,” and, “But Bella needed it.”

This year I was behind a group of girls who briefly discussed Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Each one pointed out that the other person’s champion was possessive and controlling/bossy. “Well, but she let him,” was the final word, on each side.”

Bonus 8)! Team Lipbite!

Randomness for 11/19

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1) How many baboons could you take in a fight, armed with only a giant dildo? My score: 38.

2) The milk industry responds to the findings of Jamie Oliver’s nutritious school lunch experiment, which I linked to in a previous Randomness. Naturally, they claim (falsely) that kids won’t drink milk without a ton of chocolate and sugar. My own son drinks milk once in a while, but I imagine it isn’t nearly as often as the dairy lobby would like.

3) Men married to smart women live longer. via E.E. Knight

4) Economic stimulus that makes sense: Cash for Caulkers. via Ezra Klein

5) The dummy-slap heard round the internet: RWA revokes Harlequin’s preferred-publisher status over new vanity press. I link to Making Light because the RWA still has their open letter behind a member login, for whatever reason.

Via Sherwood Smith

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THE MATRIX if it had been made during the silent film era.

Ah, pies. Sweet wonderful pies.

My seven year old son made this

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DomoNation.com: duplicator by ding ding

Like it? Create your own at DomoNation.com. It’s free and fun!

Randomness for 11/6

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1) Rear Gear! For the easily offended. via Jay Lake

2) “They must be professional house shooters.”

3) Rush Limbaugh: Victim of Racism.

4) Death by anti-science: Iraqi General to use dowsing rods to detect IEDs. From the article: “He is such a believer that the Iraqi military are abandoning proven methods such as sniffer dogs.” This is my unhappy face. via James Nicoll.

5) Hard sales numbers from a NY Times bestselling author.

Hey, everyone who watched the pilot of V last night!

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I missed it because I was watching a movie about aliens who come to earth, pretend to be our friends, are revealed on TV to be aliens in human suits (um… duh!), come clean about their plans to eat humans like cow-kabobs, and are finally defeated by a plucky band of resistence fighters.

Really!

It was called GODZILLA: FINAL WAR and it also had super kung fu mutant soldiers in really stupid “armor”, giant rampaging monsters (‘natch), flying battle machines with huge borers on the front (!!!), an ex-MMA champion as captain of the last flying/underwater/undergroud battle machine, a 100% racist scene with a black NY pimp and his pimp-mobile, ray gun battles, a super ninja motorcycle battle, chi-powered kung fu blasts, and a hero who discovers at the end that he had Sekrit Powers!

So… HAH! You are jealous and don’t try to deny it!

Randomness for 11/3

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1) Gore Vidal can go fuck himself.

“So what’s your take on Polanski, this many years later?

I really don’t give a fuck. Look, am I going to sit and weep every time a young hooker feels as though she’s been taken advantage of?”

via bookslut

2) Malcolm Gladwell: Football, dogfighting and brain damage. I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch football in the same way again. Actually, I’m thinking of giving it up entirely.

3) On a slightly lighter note: America pays more for its health care, in convenient chart form. The interesting thing about this is that people say Medicare spending is unsustainable, and also that they don’t pay enough for doctors et al to keep their doors open. Aside from the fact that those two are pretty much contradictory, it’s instructive to see how much more money Medicare spends than foreign payors.

4) Now for something upbeat: Writer Carrie Vaughn: The Best Advice I Ever Got. How perfect the timing of this is for me!

5) And then there’s this: Supernatural collective nouns. via tnh’s particles.

Randomness for 11/1

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1) New book explains why Tina Fey hates Sarah Palin. Apparently, they play different kinds of characters on TV.

2) The Ten Funniest People on Twitter. You’re welcome.

3) In *my* day we had to roll the dice ourselves… And we were happy to do it, too!

4) Free web games, with tips for winning them.

5) Nine questionable Batman toys. I’ve linked to the water pistol before, but the bath foam is even more disturbing.

MONK writer meets his readers

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“Is Monk ever going to get any?”

“You mean have sex?”

“Yes,” she said. She’d actually asked me the same question during the question-and-answer session but I guess my answer didn’t satisfy her.

“Well, the show is over, so no, I don’t think so.”

“What about in your books?”

I shook my head. “I just don’t see it.”

“I do,” she said. “Vividly.”

Happy Halloween!

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House Haunted By Tortured Souls Of Current Residents

“HARTFORD, MI—On the outside it may look like any other home, but within the walls of 6535 Maple Ave. lies a terrifying secret: Every night, when the sun goes down and the moon comes out, this suburban bungalow is haunted by the restless, tormented souls of its current residents, the Davidson family.”