funny

Two Things on a Satwosday

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First, via Emma Bull:

Oktapodi from Asım Varol on Vimeo.

I can’t wait to show that to my family when I get home.

Second, I just finished The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. If you know the book already, you know why it’s great. If you don’t, you should definitely read it. Let me talk about something briefly, though.

Three days a week, I ride the bus to downtown for my day job. Part of the trip involves a fairly high bridge. Now, I have a thing about heights, so I sometimes sit on the right side of the bus so I will be right at the edge of the bridge (no sidewalk) looking down, hoping that I will get used to it and get over it. (There’s a name for that sort of therapy, but it escapes me for the moment and my google fu is weak today.)

Most days, though… no. I’m too tired, too stressed, too whatever. I tell myself I don’t have enough resources for that, so I ride on the left side, I close my eyes, I look up. Anything but look down while thinking of this picture.

But yesterday, I took the window seat. And by chance, I happened to read one of the final chapters in the book, about the difference between real fear and worry (a minor part of the book, really). And what Mr. de Becker said made so much sense to me that I closed the book in my lap and sat looking out the window during the bridge part of the trip.

Yeah, there was a little tingle of worry, but I have never felt such calm at the edge of a high place in my whole life.

I’ve been talking a bit here and there around the web about self-imposed limits, but this is a biggie. I’ve always been a worrier, but now I’m wondering if I’ve let my stress levels push me into self-indulgence. Fears are there to be conquered, right?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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Now I have to buy myself a duck-handled umbrella!

This absolutely fantastic piece of kid lit history courtesy of bookslut.

Stuff.

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I hit my goal again today, which means I’m back in the groove (last Monday not withstanding). I wish I could do well above my groove, but such is life.

Meanwhile, have some links:

1) Back to the Future 4: Escape from Guantanamo. Marty McFly is in serious trouble.

2) Pediatricians address the effects of bullying on victims and bullies. My son’s two schools so far have done a good job of dealing with bullying incidents, but I don’t know if they’re this sophisticated.

3) Nick Mamatas on making money off your fiction. I’d always heard that novels are where the money is, but he offers an interesting counterpoint. Not that it matters to me, since my productivity crashes as the word count shrinks. It’s not that I can’t write short stories; it just takes me longer.

4) Finally! A plan to help people compare and contrast insurance plans.

5) How to make big money fast as a novelist… in Sim 3.

There is also fun in the world

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1) It puts the lotion on its skin. Why Archie is smart to propose to Veronica rather than Betty

2) “… Where health care reform becomes entitlement reform.” Ezra Klein on the effects of giving power to experts. Please please please get this right, President Obama, you hold-without-trial bastard.

3) Rebooted movie franchises are the new black! What movie franchise would you reboot? Explain, if you would, what you change. For me, it would have to be THE ROAD WARRIOR, but I would set it in a future where no one talked funny. Oh, and instead of searching for rare gasoline, everyone would just ride bicycles or drive solar cars. And instead of shooting crossbows, they’d throw snack cakes. What’s your idea?

Finally! It can be announced!

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I can finally release the news that the first of the merchandising deals for my Twenty Palaces novels has been finalized. Here’s some initial concept art for the Child of Fire Lego kit, due to hit toystores in October, a couple weeks after the paperback publish date.

Child of Fire Cover Lego Version

I can’t wait to see how they create the sapphire dog.
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You guys know I’m just joshin’, right? This image (and more complicated ones, too) created with the Lego Digital Designer. Use the program to design a virtual Lego model, then upload it to their site (if you want) and order the pieces and instructions mailed to you.

You’ve already seen this on your feeds and friends lists

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But if you haven’t clicked on it yet, you’re making a mistake.

The literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

In other news, I have an Amazon.com web page.

I haven’t even seen the movie

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But this Star Trek parody is freakin’ hilarious.

First, some links, then some me

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1) It’s real because it’s science: Gay marriage causes earthquakes! Darn pulses of gay energy. (via Andrew Wheeler aka antickmusings)

2) Man arrested for calling 911 because his drive through order at McDonalds did not include a juice box. Expect to see this on notalwaysright.com in the next couple days, although it sucks that the employees were laughing at him because he couldn’t speak English well. How many languages do they speak?

3) How many Canadians flee their crappy health care system for our fantastic American system? Practically none! In fact, the idea that our northern neighbors avoid wait times by crossing the border is politically expedient bullshit. Meanwhile, a million California residents a year seek affordable health care in Mexico, which doesn’t even count the hospitals in Thailand and India that are specifically built to handle American patients.

4) Marvel Comics attempts to draw in women readers with series about large-breasted models. Can you see how this would fail? ‘Cause I sure can’t. Isn’t every female comics reader hoping to see Mary Jane Watson team up with a revamped Millie the Model to solve a crime?

5) Oh, look! It’s the classiest logo of all, for National Fist Bump Day. I’m sure their T-shirts will sweep the nation.

6) And now I link myself, which sounds vaguely dirty. Thank you to everyone who offered to read an ARC of Child of Fire. I will forward your addresses.

Comments on that post are screened, so I’m not going to unscreen them to respond. However, I have your addresses. Thanks, again.

“KIRK, a Captain, in the service of Starfleet”

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Wm. Shakespeare writes STAR TREK (“Amok Time”).

Links to amuse and amaze!

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  1. Very few people in this world have ever thought to themselves I wonder what tops the bestselling list at Amazon.com’s “Apparel” section? To those few people, I say: Wonder no more! (I have to say, the comments on that product are hilarious. I laughed myself dizzy at work today.
  2. Divorced Brit refurbishes his apartment to look like the set of Star Trek: Voyager. Honestly, it has to be seen to be believed. Don’t skim by this link without a peek. This guy’s apartment in crazy-amazing, and to top it all off he drove himself into bankruptcy with a company called 24th Century Interior Design–apparently, he believed Trekkies from all over would hire him to do this to their homes.  Still… fucking Voyager???
  3. Best and Worst tattoos ever! I’m honestly amazed to see Centaur Patrick Swayze in a Chippendale shirt, with the double helix rainbow. I shouldn’t be, but I am.
  4. Six Creepy Abandoned Places! No explanation needed.
  5. Don’t practice your backflip in the kitchen!
  6. More Photobombers! These aren’t as funny as the ones I posted last year, but damn, that humping dog is an all new level of “Oh John Ringo No.”

Have a great day, everyone.