Author photos and online dating profiles

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I’ve been thinking about author photos for a while. Mine is this one:

Author Photo Harry Connolly

Yeah. That’s me. It’s not a great photo, but it’s hard to take a good picture of me. At least it’s better than this one or this one. So it’s not great, but it’s the best of a long day of shots. However, look at this one. I’d love to have a photo like that. Hell, I’d love to have an empty, uncluttered table to work at.

And authors have to fuss a little over their photos. Catherynne Valente wrote a post a few months back about her own picture, and how people thought she looked “mean” because she wasn’t smiling. Jeff VanderMeer took a swipe at the “male author with his arms crossed” pose.

So, hey, maybe I should wipe the smile off my face and cross my arms. Or I should look at stats on what sort of photos are most attractive.

That’s right, that’s the blog for OK Cupid, the online dating site. I’ve linked to them before, because they have a huge data set to draw on, and some of their statistics are pretty interesting.

In studying their profile pictures, they’ve found that men are much more likely to post an unsmiling photo as women (by 61% to 35%). Let’s ignore that flirty Facebook kissy expression; writers, don’t make that face for your book jacket. What’s more, they looked at the number of contacts each user received, broken down by photo type. For women, the flirty face (and smiling) while looking directly at the camera were the best choices. For men, it’s looking away from the camera that gets the most interest, especially if he isn’t smiling. Forget about the abs pictures. I have abs, but you can’t see them under all this damn fat.

Now, obviously this shit doesn’t track one-to-one. OK Cupid users are looking for luuurrrve! (or sex, I guess) and, although OK Cupid has been better in other posts, those stats are all about the heteronormativity. Authors just want to look interesting–or at least, not so crazy that potential readers decided to give their books a pass. But it is an interesting way to look the photos we put out into the world, and the expectations people have for them.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to look over this post on taking an enticing picture. Golden hour, here I come.

“Did you think all this up yourself? Out of your head?

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Today was the book signing. What do you mean you don’t believe me?! Proof? Here’s the proof!

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That’s me, in case you didn’t realize. The white shirt I’m wearing was freshly ironed twenty seconds before that photo was taken, but as soon as I hung it on myself it shriveled like a flower petal dropped into acid. Those are my books, my pens, my individually-wrapped prunes dried plums, and my oh-so-stylish sneakers.

If you’re wondering how it went, I sold eight books, four of book 1, four of book 2. That’s about five books more than expected. For those that care, here’s how it broke down:

Two books to a neighbor, the mother of Mango Eater’s best friend (she was the only buyer I already knew).
Two books to a woman buying gifts for her house-bound 94-year-old friend.
One book to a man buying a gift for his 20-year-old daughter.
One book to an aspiring writer.
One book to a bookstore employee for her son.
One book to an older woman who was scary skinny. She’s the one who provided the subject header above. (My response: “That’s the job!” She then asked rather stridently “Who’s this Ray Lilly? Is he good or evil?” What I wish I’d said was “I reject your dialectic!” What I actually said was “Uh….”)

I also mailed off all the giveaway books except the cookbooks that Carol Wong won. She hasn’t responded to two requests for a mailing address, and it would be a shame if her books went to the library or something because she used a spam trap address in the blog.

Now I’m back home and I’m not stress-eating or stress-drinking or stress-napping. I’m just hanging out with the family, and as soon as Mango Eater finishes building his Lego, he’s going to read us the next chapter of Harry Potter.

Randomness for 7/15

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1) Every _____ Comic in three panels, by Marvel editor Nathan Crosby.
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2) Mainstream journalism throws more pop-science against the shoals of cultural prejudice.
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3) “Have you read all these books? When do you watch TV?” A husband works in his wife’s bookstore while she’s sick, and records the conversations he has with customers.
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4) How “non-lethal” weapons are too often used by police.
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5) The history of the term “slush pile.”
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6) The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design. Twelve of the Worst Book Titles Ever (NSFW) according to some dude at Huffpo.
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7) Bookscan: how accurate is it?

Five things for a Friday

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1- You know what’s annoying? Being unable to find a link to an article that you wrote about in your own blog. [added later: found it!]

2- I have a brilliant idea for a multi-million dollar invention: the ultimate alarm clock. Here’s how it works. At the time you want to wake up, it uses orgone energy electromagnetic waves to stimulate the dream centers of your brain. You have a dream where you wake up after the time you were supposed to be at work, and the blind dream-panic wakes you up for real, even in the dismal hours of the morning. Multi-million dollar invention, I tell you.

3- In keeping with my usual computer game protocol, I captured Hill 400 in Call of Duty 2 earlier this week. Soon I can try out Prince of Persia. Maybe tonight. Or maybe I’ll watch movies. Or do both. It all sounds good, as long as my entertainments are all several years old and cheaply acquired.

4- Remember my previous post about stress and my recent inability to write? Well, on Wednesday night I heard Bill Clinton talking about the US World Cup victory over Algeria. He did sound seriously ill (I blame the vuvuzelas) but he praised the team’s “mental toughness.” To paraphrase from memory: Every high level competition, from a championship game to a big election eventually comes down to mental toughness.

I like that! I like “mental toughness” better than “discipline” because the latter sounds like a lot of hard work, but the former sounds like something you just have. I went to bed thinking about it, and woke up on Thursday morning trying to imagine myself as a writer who was also a tough guy–stress doesn’t get to me! I can sit down and do the work whenever I have to, just like a professional athlete! Professional!

Then I opened a book and started reading.

5- That book I mentioned in number four above? It’s The Ivory Grin by Ross MacDonald, and although I’m only halfway through it. Still, it’s FANTASTIC! Maybe what The Buried King needs is not some new mental attitude but a new mental model. Thank you, dead author!

6- Bonus sixth thing! I’m deeply annoyed that day job is too busy for me to read this article of social influence and obesity. Reading it at home is going to seriously cut into my time-wasting time.

Five Things for a Friday

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1. After weeks of trying to figure out how to fit exercise into my schedule (“What do I give up?” and “When would I have the energy?” being the most important considerations) I suddenly realized that I could squeeze a long walk into my schedule after I finish my shift at my day job, but before I come home. This week I’ve been walking the bus route toward home for 30-40 minutes, and it’s working well. Soon I’ll bump that up to an hour. It means giving up some reading time at the bus stop, but it’s worth it.

2. My feet and leg pain is back. See number one above. I haven’t told my wife about it because it freaks her out, but it’ll soon be obvious because…

3. Our Mothers Day jaunt will be a trip to the park. Lots of walking. Lots of greenery. She loves long walks outside and considers them an essential part of her spiritual self-care. Unfortunately, our son only ventures outdoors after an hour of whining and misery. But we’re doing it, for her. I expect to be in a lot of pain, and to be stuck in the middle.

4. Also this weekend, a very good, very old friend will be in a nearby town. Will he be able to visit? Will I be able to go visit him? No clue.

5. I’m pretty much committed to making a book trailer for book three. Nothing much is going to happen to it at least until the fall, after Game of Cages (aka book 2) comes out. No rush. I will, however, be watching a ton of trailers in the meantime to see what I like and don’t like.

Surprising 6th item: The pre-writing for The Buried King is at the absolute worst part–I have all the characters set and what they want. I know how they’re going to try to get what they want. What I don’t have is a clear idea of how all the conflicts are going to play out.

Truthfully, I don’t need to know this exactly, but I have to have enough information to be sure that the protagonist is going to have conflict with each of the antagonists, and I need to know that each conflict is going to be different. I’m not there yet, which means I’m ready to start writing chapter one but I’m also not ready. Frustrating.

There was supposed to be a surprising seventh thing, too, but I can’t remember what.

A quick tip

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People, think hard before you drop this link into a fat person’s email inbox.

More on food and obesity

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I’ve never eaten at a Claim Jumpers restaurant, and thanks to this article I never will. That’s two days’ worth of calories they’re serving there. The baby back ribs are 8 times the calorie load of a KFC Double Down!

And that doesn’t include the sides.

As I mentioned in a previous post, posting calorie counts is a sensible thing to do, although the evidence that it has any effect is pretty iffy so far. Posting calorie counts like these ought to be law. The article makes it clear that doggie bags are expected, but do people know that they need to split the Whiskey-Apple Glazed Chicken into three separate meals (at least)?

Thing is, picking a restaurant or ordering from the menu is a tiny decision (except at fucking Claim Jumpers). By itself, no big deal. As a habit, it is a big deal.

But a lifetime is built out of all those tiny choices. Careers are built that way, and many people don’t look at these choices in a systematic way.

This ties in with the teaching article I posted about a while back: For a long time, people were convinced that very good teachers had this ineffable, unmeasurable thing called “talent”. They were “good teachers” and they seemed to spring from Zeus’s head fully formed. It’s only recently that researchers are making a strong push to truly analyze the behaviors of talented teachers to see what techniques they use. Once the behaviors are well understood, they can be taught to everyone.

Which ties into writing, too. I’ve posted before about how I think of writing “talent,” and I think it’s very much a teachable thing (at least to a certain degree).

All of these amount to making numerous tiny decisions: Which side to order? How to ask the students to pay attention? How to describe this characters? Each task comes with differing degrees of complexity, but there are smart choices to be made and unfortunate ones, and the unfortunate ones drag you down.

That’s why I spent a great deal of time studying other writers. I needed to get past my ideas what what worked/didn’t work and see through to the successful strategies.

With food, though, that’s extra hard. So many of the strategies I see are about changes people can’t make (such as moving to a walking-friendly neighborhood), can’t afford (join a gym, buy more veg), feel like punishment (did I mention the gym? And the veg?) and fly in the face of their own physical demands.

A lot of it seems to be anecdotal, too. Jared ate veggie sandwiches at Subway! Bill gave up all white food! I’d like to see a detailed, large-scale analysis of how people who succeeded in losing weight did it, without the moralizing.

Followup to Armbinder’s article

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Gretchen Reynolds writes about the latest research in exercise.

It’s interesting stuff, covering the differences between men and women and touching on the benefits of light vs. vigorous exercise. I can foresee the new weight loss trend just as the wave crests–Don’t go to the gym! Put your home computer on a countertop!–but it’s interesting how focussed the piece was on weight loss rather than health.

Armbinder’s “Beating Obesity” and half-hearted measures

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Has everyone (with an interest in the subject) read Marc Ambinder’s “Beating Obesity” article in The Atlantic? He’s posted responses to some of the most common replies, but they’re only marginally interesting.

What is interesting to me, aside from the news that bariatric surgery often cures type 2 diabetes, sometimes immediately(!), is that the author acknowledges the tremendously difficult challenge the country faces, and basically admits that there are powerful cultural forces driving the rates of obesity of the last 30 years. (For the record, they’ve doubled.)

Armbinder himself was obese for a while, but a year ago, after trying and failing to lose weight in many different ways, he underwent bariatric surgery. To which I say: Damn. I’m older than him and over-weight myself, but would I take a one-half of one percent risk of dying on the operating table? Hell, no. I’d spend the thirty grand (with no insurance coverage) he paid on personal trainers (something I’m sure he did himself). It wouldn’t work, of course. It would never work. But five deaths out of a thousand? I hate those odds.

But the man had a problem. He tried to address it conventionally many times. It didn’t work. He went for the extreme solution. You can click on the link to see the change he’s had in a year.

Which is great for him! But the nation as a whole (and other developed nations as well) are facing their own intractible problem. Shame, tongue-clucking, “fitness initiatives” and the other half-measures don’t work. So what does he suggest? An extreme solution?

Well, no. Because he’s a political writer. He mentions the various solutions that advocates propose and talks about how they get in each other’s way. He looks at policy that can be implemented without too much fuss. He talks hopefully (barely hopefully) about Michelle Obama’s voluntary guidelines for agribusiness, about food labeling (which doesn’t work anyway), about subsidies for fruit and vegetables (since you’ll never be able to take away corn subsidies in this political environment), and zoning/public transportation changes (lemme know how that works out for you, I’ll be over here holding my breath).

But what we need is an end to food commercials aimed at kids. We need to stop subsidizing HFCS to the extent we currently do. We need to tax sugary drinks and monster portions at restaurants. And we can’t stop there.

As Ambinder says, all these solutions are additive. What’s more, even the “extreme” solutions I’m suggesting–solutions that would never make it through Congress or survive in the media–might not be extreme enough (“Free stomach stapling with every Wii Fit Plus!”). But can we see a way toward a solution, or is our political and cultural framework too timid? I’m afraid the answer looks to be “timid.”

Note: Whenever I (or anyone) talks about fat, people will inevitably comment about “self-indulgence,” “willpower,” “personal responsibility.” Don’t do that here. There’s a place for people to talk about the personal failings of fat people, and how those failing made them what they are. That place is called Everywhere, All The Time. For this post, I’m drawing a circle around the comment sections and asking people to take those discussions into their own spaces.

I’m off to the Museum of Flight with the fam today. Enjoy.

I shoulda shaved

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Jim Butcher’s event drew about 400 people. Yikes. I counted 32 black leather jackets, 21 fedoras/wide-brimmed hats, and only two guys who went for the trifecta: leather jacket, hat and “wizard’s staff”.

With my unshaved face and fat gut, I imagine I didn’t look out of place. I really felt out of place, though.

There was no reading; it was all Q&A, and what’s more, Butcher is a funny, engaging speaker. Even when a reader (the very first one!) came to the mike to ask him about his inaccurate research on gun laws, he was gracious and funny.

After an hour of that, it was time to queue up for signing. I waited an hour and a half to get his latest book signed and more importantly, to thank him for writing a blurb for Child of Fire. He was very kind about my work, and inscribed “One hell of a writer” in my copy of Changes.

But I should have shaved.