Randomness for 1/02

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1) Five skiffy death sports you can host in your own home. Reader, I lol-ed.

2) “America sends its best hunks to save the Earth.”

3) Dwayne’s Photo, a little family-owned shop in Parsons, Kansas, is closing down. They were the last processor in the world who could handle Kodachrome film, which Kodak stopped manufacturing in 2009, and now their equipment is going to be sold for scrap.

4) When are we happy? When are we not happy? Video. This one is long, but very, very interesting.

5) How It’s Made: PASS-ta. Video.

6) Robots Speak Out Against Asimov’s First Law Of Robotics.

7) The Most Epic Use of Google Docs Ever (aka Google-doc-based animation). Video.

Jake Lake Controls his Span

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Check out this article about Span of Control by Jay Lake. The term refers to the size and shape of the story he can hold in his head at one time, to make it a coherent single entity, esp in first draft form

Me, I don’t have that. Or maybe I should say I don’t use that. I tend to create a situation for the characters to solve, add multiple antagonists, then begin working through the conflicts. I don’t try to hold a part of it in my head as a coherent story idea, because I feel more like I’m riding a wave of whatever goal/setting/resource/conflict is ongoing at the moment.

Eventually, I realize that the story has been running long enough and needs to be wrapped up. All I do then is continue the conflicts, but the conflicts begin to resolve themselves. Sometimes that means it’s time for people to stop surviving the dangers they face. Sometimes it means they need to break down emotionally and surrender. In any event, stuff starts to resolve.

So, everything is outside my span of control, and maybe that’s why I find writing such a painful, laborious process.

Also, I loved Rocket Science.

Randomness for 12/25

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1) Bronte Sisters Power Dolls! Video.

2) Burglar posts a photo of himself w/ stolen loot on his victim’s Facebook page. The cops were notified, but said burglary is such a low priority they wouldn’t bother with the case. Luckily for the victim, his dad writes for the Washington Post.

3) How A Christmas Story should have played out.

4) Rudolph (You Don’t Have To Put On The Red Light) Video.

5) The True Meaning of Christmas at Everything is Terrible. Video.

6) Santa Clause is Coming To Town, recut as a horror movie trailer. Video.

7) Comics writer Bob Haney’s version of Batman Saving Christmas.

Quote of the day

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“It was a hard decision because another editor had offered more money. I called up my old boss from when I’d worked in publishing to ask what I should do, and he told me that the right thing to do is always to take more money, because life is uncertain, and the professional life of a young and up-and-coming editor who might get a better job at another house at any time is especially uncertain. He was right—he’s always right—and you should keep his advice in mind. When you make a deal it’s with the publisher, not the editor. I prefer to make the risky un-fiscally responsible choice whenever possible, though, so didn’t take the bigger offer and luckily Amber didn’t abandon me. I think about the money all the time, though, and not in a wistful “ah, sliding doors” way.”

— Emily Gould from Five Writers Talk About Their Book Editors.

Actually, I could have pulled a number of different quotes from that article–that’s a rich vein right there–but this one made me laugh. (Unlike Matthew Galloway’s account of his first-ever meeting with his editor, which made me laugh and cringe.)

Give it a read. It’s pretty interesting.

Randomness for 12/18

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1) Oh no, it’s the Daleks!

2) The Gawker Media security breach gives us a chance to see the 13 most common passwords.

3) Ten building converted to bookstores. Very cool photos. via @victoriastrauss

4) Wikileaks cables turned into comics.

5) Eleven weird D&D questions from The Dragon’s “Sage Advice” column.

6) Why you should never fry gnocci. Video.

7) Yogi Bear is like District 9 but way more depressing. A really interesting review of a really uninteresting movie.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s legit and who’s not

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And sometimes it’s as easy as loading a website.

Check out the website for Mocknick Productions Literary Agency (there’s a “nofollow” command in that link so this post won’t count in Mr. Mocknick’s Google ranks). The agency reps screenplays and novels, apparently, and to promote their business, they have a series of YouTube slide shows.

That star “Arielle”, a sex doll.

No, that’s not a joke. Here’s the first video. Yes, there are more, including some where the sex doll explains why you have to pay upfront.

And here’s Arielle’s own story, from David Mocknick’s own unproduced screenplay called “Doll Warrior” about sex stunt dolls brought to life who fight terrorists.

When I first heard about this from Writer Beware, I was sure it was a hoax. But now that I’ve watched two of the videos, I’m not so sure. This stuff looks like genuine awful. And no, I didn’t watch the video about how to submit.

Also, as I keep mentioning here, next Monday I’ll be traveling across the country by train, and what do I discover but a series of tweets about a guy stranded on a train without power or heat through most of the night?

It was sort of disturbing, until I realized he went from “Hey, power’s out” to “I feel like crying,” and “I keep imagining them backing the train into cold black water” and all sorts of freak out in less than two hours.

Honestly, it’s hard to get all freaked out about my own train ride based on what looks like a hysterical freak out.

And now, a question! Most cell phones play music when a call comes in. What do people call this? The phone isn’t “ringing” per se. It’s playing a tune. Do you still call that a ringing phone?

Thanks.

Randomness for 12/15 (w/ extra content because I was offline)

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1) The Suck Report. WTH, internet?

2) Musical PVC. Love it. Video.

3) Apparently, the latest thing in NY is “Crack Pie.” Meh. Call me when someone adds bacon.

4) “Warning, overfeeding can cause some pigeons to become aggressive.” Video.

5) The Assassination of Yogi Bear by the Coward Boo Boo. Video.

6) How the London riots demonstrate the tactics of ancient warfare. NSFW because of language.

7) All the tricks and stunts this dude does are awesome, but it’s the over-the-top music that makes it. Video.

7+1) The World According to Freshman Comp Papers (a poem)

^ WordPress turns that into an emoticon if I put the number 8. That’s why these always have seven entries. UNTIL NOW

9) Man makes his Christmas light display into an interactive game for his neighbors. Video.

Download file converter? ::cancel::

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Here’s the thing: I’m not going to be reading Edward Docx’s rant about literary and genre fiction in the Guardian. I’ve skimmed over a couple of other people’s summaries, and it seems he’s not saying anything new, interesting, or specific.

Nevermind the idea of comparing the worst of one group with the best of another. Nevermind the empty fantasy of fat checks for genre writers. Nevermind that the Guardian is just trolling for traffic again.

The truth is that literary history isn’t going to be written by Docx and his little post. He and his opinion don’t matter. I’m glad there are folks out there willing to swat at the ridiculous memes he’s pushing, but his sort of crap is completely useless.

And does he really kick Larsson for translated texts?

Ari Marmell doesn’t think much of your advice.

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Over on Suvudu, Ari Marmell is pointing out that writing advice which tries to tell you how your own creative process should work is bad writing advice. And he’s right; it’s not cool or helpful.

But what I’d like to see from a writing advice book (assuming I ever had reason to read another one) is an acknowledgement that people have different methods and that learning to write is in part an experimentation with process. It should have a chapter for outliners, with all the different methods for outlining, and a chapter for non-outliners with everything those writers need to know. And readers should be encouraged to study both chapters.

Of course, the best way to learn about writing is not from a writing advice book, but by studying the sort of books you love and want to write. Discover how they work. Create your own theory. Move forward from there.

Repost from last year: A CHRISTMAS CAROL

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This is one of my favorite versions of A CHRISTMAS CAROL. I posted about it last year and, like an old fruitcake, I’m giving it away again. Click the link above to find out why, or just watch for yourself. Embed below.