Something funny about that teaser trailer

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You know the old truism that, in film, a writer’s work always gets changed? Well, it’s true. Even in the teaser trailer I just released yesterday, the fact is that what ended up on the screen was not at all like what was on the page.

First, for those who missed it yesterday, the teaser trailer: It’s now on Youtube in High Def and in not High Def. (what’s the term for “not High Def”? Regular?)

Okay? Did you watch it (either yesterday or today)?

Right then, here’s how it breaks down: there was one shot in the script saying Ray cut through a padlock with the ghost knife, but for the rest of it, this is what the script said:

INT. OFFICE – DAY

A MAN kneels on the floor, weeping.

MAN
Oh God, I’m so sorry!

Ray knocks him down, yanks his jacket over his head and puts the barrel of a gun against his skull.

That’s it. That’s all it said. From those words, the guys at Wyrd created that trailer.

Maybe some other writer would be upset about that, esp if they were writing the check[1], as it were. Not me; I knew the guys would have to change and adapt things to make this work, and I made sure they knew I was cool with that when we started. What I didn’t expect was that they’d take the ball and run with it as far as they have.

Tomorrow I want to clarify a bit why I did this. (It’s not for promotional purposes. Really.) Today I have to take my son to the gym and teach him swimming.

[1] In this context, “writing the check” is a laughable claim to authority, since the guys at Wyrd are putting in way WAY more work than I could have ever paid them for.

Birthers, Daddy Issues, and THOR

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Last week I took my son to see THOR. He loved it, while I only liked it, but the most annoying thing about it was the way it reminded me that every big-time Hollywood movie nowadays has to feature a protagonist who’s all twisted up with Daddy Issues.

I’ll admit that I don’t see as many films as I used to, but I’m already sick and tired of watching movie stars struggle to win their Daddy’s approval. It was in SOURCE CODE, IRON MAN 2, STAR TREK, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, THE HULK (John Woo version) and so on and so on.

What the hell, Hollywood? When did someone decide that this was a solid story beat that had to go into every movie? Can’t we stick with a romantic subplot and GTFOI?

Which started me wondering how much of this was cultural. Continue reading

Loving Superman and *Loving* Superman

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A discussion popped up recently over this video:

For those who don’t want to click, (and you probably don’t because that video is equal parts hilarious and creepy) it’s a clip from the series finale of Smallville, in which Clark Kent finally gets his Superman suit, flies, saves Lois, and saves the world. And while that plays, the guy watching offers his quite vocal… “enthusiasm” for the show.

Actually, it sounds like he’s masturbating, shouting “YES! YES! YES!” several times, and “Do it right! Do it right!” and “AMERICA!” and generally having a really, really intense sexual experience. I suspect that, if the camera had been pointed the other way, he would have had to post the video on YouP*rn instead of YouTube.

I linked to it in a “Boy, people sure can be creepy!” sort of way, but several people responded by saying stuff like “What’s wrong with a little extra happiness in the world?” and “I think it’s great that he’s enjoying the show, and what’s wrong with that?” I haven’t quite figured out if it doesn’t register as a stroke video to them, or if they think audible orgasms to shitty TV shows are part of the wonder and joy of the human existence, or what.

Still, I think it’s creepy and a little funny. I hope the actors never see it. I do wonder if the guy taped this with his pants pulled up and zipped tight, not realizing how it would sound. His bio says he’s a devout Christian, so maybe he…

Ah, who knows. Anyway, I think it’s pathetic and funny and extremely creepy to post “fan love” audio online.

Randomness for 5/18

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1) Better book titles, Strunk and White ed.

2) Brilliant street fliers.

3) Why SyFy cancelled SGU, in numbers.

4) Angry comic book fans are good for sales, apparently.

5) U.S. cities where women (childless, between 22-30 years old) earn more than men.

6) Mysterious “Surfing Madonna” mosaic appears in Encinitas, but city mayor calls it “graffiti”.

7) My son calls this the guy-cycle. Video.

Randomness for 5/6

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1) The world’s first zombie-proof house.

2) It’s the newest fad! White guys across the globe are going to be sporting this baby soon. Real soon.

3) Amazing WWII monuments in Yugoslavia.

4) “Who is Osama bin Laden? Is he famous?”

5) If Superman was an alien in other movies.

6) “Imagine a man who buys a chicken from the grocery store, manages to bring himself to orgasm by penetrating it, then cooks and eats the chicken.” The ten oddest sentences from conservative editorialist David Brooks’s new book.

7) Tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day: Which offerings are good and which are not? And if you drop by a comic shop, be sure to buy something, too.

Repeat after me: Don’t make your points by telling people to “repeat after me.”

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I’m sure Deborah J. Ross is a good person who’s kind to children and small animals, but she’s completely wrong-headed here. First of all, don’t make your points by telling me to repeat them, as though I’m a child. Because, really.

Second, it’s terribly easy and terribly unconvincing to try to disprove an assertion by trotting out The Bad Version. You know what I mean. Someone makes an assertion (playing tabletop RPGs can be helpful for writers!) and the counter-argument is always Something Awful That Might Come Of It: you learn to railroad a story like a railroading GM, you write a bunch of fights and encounters with no emotional content, you let the characters carry around Too Much Magic (srsly, check the comments), you get the pacing wrong.

But this is like saying opera isn’t beneficial to prose fiction writing because you might make all your characters sing their dialog. Yeah, gamers sometimes write bad stories that are too much like games. Guess what movie- and TV-watchers sometimes do?

Of course there are aspects of games that don’t translate to fiction. Do I want to buy a novel that recounts someone’s D&D adventure? Probably not.

But there are things to learn, too. I’m not going to make an exhaustive list: I’m only going to mention one: PCs are annoying. No matter what a GM thinks will be the proper course for the characters, the players will come up with something else, something fiendish and clever that slants things to their side.

That’s what they do: they scramble and plan for every edge they can get. Bad guys holed up in a house, waiting for you to break down the door? Hey, is that a wooden house? Well, let’s get some gasoline from the car, put it in this old beer bottle–who has a lighter? We’ll shoot them as they come out.

Long corridor with doors on either side? Treasure we want probably down the hall? Let’s not fight our way through. Just jam those doors shut and we’ll bypass the enemies there. Anyone have spell for that?

A new super-hero in town with water-based powers? And the new D.A. is named Sam Lake? We break into his house and search the place until we find his costume.

Players will teach you to be sneaky, to cheat, to take unfair advantage (but always within the games rules). They’ll teach you to look carefully at the plot, and to make it better.

So says I.

Nerdscape!

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Over on Suvudu, Kevin Hearne has posted a couple of Nerdscape photos: tableaus of action figure, book, and junk food. I thought it would be fun to play along (and it’s an excellent way to get my son off the computer now that his time is up) but I’m not much for junk food. Therefore, I have substituted pain-relieving ointment, which serves as my go-to comfort item.

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Action figure Nancy Pearl shushing (and slugging) Giant Batman! An oppressed rock monster from a Power Miners set casts aside the numbing tools of its oppressors! A useless Jenga ripoff from the creators of Uno! A novel from the Song of Ice And Fire series, because of its hugeness (and also because I couldn’t find my copy of Inda–If you’re looking for more tough-minded epic fantasy in a series that actually completed, check Inda and its sequels out.)

This is my life.

Hey, is HBO premiering a new show tonight?

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I think I might have heard something about it.

The Steampunk(ed) Nerf gun

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For some reason known only to the elves that live inside his brain, my son recently decided that he wanted to paint one of his Nerf guns to be “Steampunk”. Where that came from, I don’t know. He’s never read a steampunk novel as far as I can tell, and… Well, let’s just leave that at “mysterious.”

And being our son, we said “Annoying project? Sure!”

We forgot to take a picture of the Nerf Maverick in its unmodified form, but here it is, courtesy of the cool website Think Geek–behind the cut: Continue reading

Randomness for 4/10

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1) Slow motion photography. Exploding cakes. Techno. I promise you that you will love this: Video. And it even comes with little stories! via @ChuckWendig

2) “I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason as to why?” Sir Mix-A-Lot mashed with the modern just-so stories of sexual selection pressures. The comments are stone hilarious.

3) The sounds of Minecraft, as music. Video.

4) New Zealand brewer markets a “breakfast beer.” I’m not opposed to the idea of a (small) beer at breakfast, but this sounds god-awful.

5) “How I got a blank book onto the Amazon.com bestseller list.” via @victoriastrauss

6) Some posts on the resurgence of “epic” fantasy: One. Two.

7) Alternate Star Wars. What if George Lucas had been inspired by a Kurosawa film other than HIDDEN FORTRESS?