people

Thanks for the science unit, Jehovah’s Witnesses!

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Earlier this week, the usual crew of JW missionaries dropped by to bend my wife’s ear (she’s too nice to ask them to stop coming around) and drop off their literature, which usually goes straight into the recycling. However, this time they gave us a third pamphlet specifically for my son because they knew he “likes to read.” What was it? Creationist propaganda.

Perfect! Finally they’d given me something I didn’t immediately throw away. I plan to go through it with my son while we catalog all the errors inside and learn how people screw up science in the popular culture.

Thanks, annoying people!

Here’s how fantastic Starbucks Customer Service is

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One of their locations had their wifi go out quite a while ago–a couple of weeks before I went to New York, actually. I’ve used their wifi at several stores, so I knew there was a problem. When I brought it up with the manager, she tried to wave me off with “The internet gets slow when there are a lot of people online at once.”

No no, I explained. There’s actually no signal. See?

She glanced down at my screen and said the staff in the store don’t have any control over that, and the only thing to do was to call corporate headquarters to let them know.

So… I’m physically sitting in a Starbucks talking to a Starbucks employee, but the only way to fix the service they offer is for me, a customer, to call Starbucks. Presumably I’m supposed to use a cell phone I don’t actually own.

But fine. I can understand why they might take the computer technical stuff out of the hands of baristas, who are certainly busy enough without “Why can’t I send this picture of my cat to my email?” right? But I’m sure as shit not going to get on the phone for a frigging helpdesk call to a corporation about their own service.

And I go back there occasionally, and it hasn’t been fixed. It’s been well over a month, and last Friday there was a family on vacation who brought all their kids into the store, bought snacks and drinks, then tried to go online to plan their day. Imagine their surprise!

Finally, I got tired of listening to this same conversation going on around me every Friday, so yesterday I sent a customer feedback email to them about it, explaining that their 4th and Seneca location has a problem with its wifi and it’s been going on for weeks.

What does their reply say? Essentially: We get our internet service from AT&T, so please contact them at…

Yeah. I’m supposed to make a help desk call to their ISP for them. Heh. Can you reach your modem? What’s the model number? Are the lights on? Are any of them red or orange? Please turn it off, wait ten seconds, then turn it back on again. Did that fix the problem?

To sum up: When I notified a Starbucks employee inside Starbucks that their wifi was out, she–a Starbucks employee–told me to call Starbucks. When I contacted them weeks later by email, they suggested I call their ISP and report the problem for them.

It’s funny, but while I do work at Starbucks, I’m not actually working for Starbucks. Guess it’s their new business model: crowd-sourcing your IT to irritated customers.

Update: Twenty-one minutes after posting, the CIO of Starbucks drops me a comment saying he’ll look into it. We have some good stuff in this future of ours.

Randomness for 7/11

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1) Six Beloved 80s Toys With Bizarrely Horrifying Origin Stories

2) A writer tithes to a charity he believes in.

3) Printing in three dimensions, with chocolate.

4) The entire plot of Harry Potter on a single poster.

5) Gundam Karate Battle! Video. Nicely done and more cinematic than the usual fare.

6) Saruman trolling the fellowship. Video. ::ahem:: LOL

7) How to make a book light a light out of an old book. via ardentdelirium

Read this

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Tim O’Brien’s “How To Tell A True War Story.”

Fucking wow.

I should have posted this in May but better late than never.

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How to recognize when someone is drowning.

Randomness for 6/30

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1) Weird things customers say in bookshops.

2) “Well, at least it’s not towels!“

3) A Game of Thrones of Muppets

4) Han Solo and Greedo bookends.

5) How to have a well-behaved child.

6) His Girl Friday… with all that wonderful dialog edited out! A feature length movie gets trimmed down to under eight and a half minutes. Video.

7) Dear Photograph

(Re yesterday’s post: You guys know I generally don’t reply to hypothetical comments, yes? I don’t want to control or direct those conversations.)

“How awful! Legislating from the bench… I mean, from the legislature.”

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Andrew Sullivan does a quick rundown of some responses from social conservatives to the NY marriage equality law and surprise surprise if they aren’t convinced it’s tyranny. The short version is this: Gay rights advocates who want to be able to marry = Bull Connor. Because having the right to visit your partner in the hospital after a car accident is the same as siccing dogs on people.

History will tag these people as the assholes they are.

Five things make a Friday post, even though it’s Sunday

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1. Congratulations to the residents of New York state! A while ago someone asked, if someone from the mid-1960s were transported to today, what would be the most surprised change, and I suggested the gay rights movement. Marriage Equality in New York and in other countries and states is the result of focused, dedicated political action; I admire the hell out of the work they’ve done and wish their work was finished already. It’s sad that they have to keep fighting.

2. R.I.P. Martin Greenburg. Thanks for all the stories.

3. R.I.P. Peter Falk. I never understood the appeal of Columbo when I was a kid–they always showed the killer at the start of the show! It was only later that recognized the class aspect of the show (like Kolchak) and started to get into it. Yes, he was wonderful in THE PRINCESS BRIDE, but I was honestly startled (pleasantly) by his turn in WINGS OF DESIRE. That role could have been smug and tedious, but he rocked it.

4. The Locus Awards have been announced. (no link) Like the Nebulas, they only reinforce my decision to ignore awards entirely.

5. Have I mentioned here that I’m working on getting my short fiction for sale on the Kindle, et al? I am. The rights to most of my Black Gate stories (except the one that’s out right now) have reverted, plus I have a number of Pald stories that I never sold or even submitted anywhere. They go further into the setting and background than earlier books did, especially how the city is run. I’m hoping to convince my wife and son to whip up cover art for them as a homeschool project. We’ll see.

Bonus, secret sixth thing: Because of travel, we didn’t celebrate Father’s Day last week. Instead we’re celebrating today. I get brunch at a really nice restaurant (Portage Bay Cafe in Ballard) then library/bookstore, and finally, after my wife has gone to work, a movie with my son. Yay!

While I’m thinking about it: a message to smokers

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Hey, smokers, if I could have your attention for a moment, I’ll keep this brief.

Cigarette butts? Those are trash. Litter. Seriously, you shouldn’t be just throwing them anywhere. They should be actually thrown out, after being put out. You wouldn’t toss a candy wrapper or banana peel on the sidewalk, would you? (I hope not)

Many years ago when I first moved to Seattle, I had a joe job that required me to sweep up the sidewalks out front every day. At one point I had a discussion with my co-workers while they were on a smoke break, and I told them: “You know how those butts you drop are magically gone the next day? Well, it ain’t magic.”

So! Let’s keep in mind that butts are trash and should be disposed of like trash. Thanks!

Nothing quite says “asshole” like…

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starting a paragraph with “Earth to liberated women:“. Warning, clicking that link may cause unbridled rage.