“They’re so funny. They use the subjunctive when they ought to use the nupative.”

Standard

Let’s make this a quick list of items of interest, okay?

First of all: Hey New Yorkers! I’m going to be in New York City next week, visiting Manhattan with my wife and son. Yes, I’m also going to meet up with my agent (first time face to face) and my editor (not first time). And others, too, if things go well.

Publishing people! Who use the subjunctive correctly! And who probably also know how to use the nupative, even though that doesn’t even exist, except in last night’s dream about condescending NY grammar fundamentalists. (See subject header)

Anyway, I’m also planning to attend the KGB Fantastic Fiction Reading Series on June 15th. I don’t know either of the authors who’ll be reading there, but that just makes it more exciting.

Are you in New York? I’d like to meet there, and maybe do something after. I look like this. If you see me there, don’t hesitate to introduce yourself.

Second: I mentioned this on Twitter last week, but haven’t here; Twenty Palaces, the prequel to Child of Fire, is 100% done! Well, unless Del Rey buys it and my editor has notes. And except for the copy edits. And galleys. And another polish, if I want to give it one, (and I always do).

Still: One. Hundred. Percent. Done. I’m back at work on A Key, An Egg, An Unfortunate Remark (aka: The Auntie Mame Files). I like this book, although I suspect it’s going to be a stand alone. We’ll see.

Third: On the advice of a friend, I’ve started polishing up some old short stories to self-publish them. I mean, why not? Several have been published before and several will need substantial rewriting, but it will be nice to have something new to put out into the world.

Fourth: Look what came in the mail over the weekend?

IMG_2698

It had this in it:

IMG_2699

I’m going to assume he meant “this book,” to mean “the book for Harry Connolly.” Seems obvious, right?

I sorta expect a significant proportion of this text to be right out of his LiveJournal, but with luck I’ll pick up some extra tips for writing short work for small checks, rather than doing these months-long projects on spec, which sucks.

Fourth: Is it completely ridiculous for me to record all the Bookscan numbers I get from Amazon.com into a spreadsheet? I mean, I can’t even keep my characters’ names straight, but I’m fastidious about this?

Fifth: I still have a lot to do before I head to NY. Good thing I finished those Dungeon Quest books (by Joe Daly). Now that the hilarity is over, I can get some shit done.

Randomness for 6/10

Standard

1) Artist buys cheap landscapes at yard sales, then paints monsters into them.

2) Eel Noir, a webcomic by filmmaker Jonathon King.

3) Does anyone else think it’s really odd that people tape themselves watching TV? How is this even a thing? Anyway, the new BREAKING DAWN trailer came out, and this dude edited together a whole bunch of ecstatic reaction videos. Video.

4) Woman gets a tattoo of 152 profile pics of her Facebook friends. Quick note to everyone reading this on Facebook: I don’t care about you enough to get a tattoo of your face.

5) “It’s not a weasel, it’s a marten!”

6) The best of Anti-Joke Chicken. This made me laugh.

7) For Dr. Who fans.

Hand-wringing over kids nowadays

Standard

Last night, Twitter blew up (check the hashtag “#yasaves”) over this WSJ article about modern YA literature. Apparently, it’s not full of happy fun kids scampering through meadows or whatever.

There’s a lot to be annoyed about in the article (which is why it has a rel=”nofollow”) including a list of books the writer thinks would be appropriate for kids–which naturally is split into a boy’s list and a girl’s list.

Whatever. There are quite a few writers, readers, and publishing people taking the article apart and pointing out the power of downbeat, even grim, stories. They’re more knowledgeable and more articulate on the subject that I could be. I just want to address one thing:

The article writer manages to nod her head toward the fact that books about, say, cutting would be helpful for kids who cut themselves. She thinks they’d show kids how to heal themselves and move on. Instructional manuals, basically, although she’d never say it so baldly. Still, her talk of kids who don’t cut themselves, but who might start to think of it as a legitimate option after reading about it (“normalizing” as it were) makes it clear this is where her argument is going.

This isn’t just ridiculous, it shows that the WSJ children’s book columnist doesn’t understand how books work. Are books about surviving rape only for rape victims? Are addiction memoirs only for addicts?

No one would suggest this for adults, of course. No one would airdrop boxed sets of Lord of the Rings to Libyan rebels. But with teenagers, there’s this idea that someone else’s kids might be screwed up enough to need screwed-up books, but our kids are perfectly fine, thanks, and don’t need to be exposed to helplessness or pain.

Not only is that wrong, it’s as wrong as wrong gets. Everyone, young and old, needs to experience a wide variety of emotions in the safe space that books provide. It’s not about normalizing, or processing your own shit; it’s about being human and understanding other humans. It’s about seeing your own dark impulses–which even your angelic little honor club teen feels–played out through fictional characters.

Personally, I hate the idea that fiction is supposed to be part of some self-improvement project. I don’t hate it because I think fiction is (or should be) fun fluffy nothings that you enjoy and toss aside; I honestly believe that reading fiction enriches us. I couldn’t write it if I didn’t.

I hate the “What do we learn from this novel?” garbage because it’s always trotted out to confirm someone’s pre-existing prejudice. It’s a tool of disapproval, and it’s used against fantasy, romance, downbeat stories, upbeat stories–everything, frankly. Sure, one person might understand perfectly well that his Kindle full of crime thrillers won’t “normalize” bank robbery, but those women and their romance novels have such unrealistic alpha male expectations, amirite? (Because this is the internet, let me say that last sentence was sarcasm. Thanks for playing along.)

And it’s so short-sighted! What if that novel about murder, war, battle, and revolution is not a rehearsal for violence, but a rehearsal for bravery? What if that addiction memoir isn’t spurring kids to give that heroin thing a try, but is simply giving them a safe space for compassion? Why not trust that your own kids, the ones you raised to know right from wrong, to draw something valuable from the books they love?

They won’t do it, but the Wall Street Journal should fire and replace that columnist. Maybe they can even find one who understands what censorship is.

Randomness for 6/1

Standard

1) Negotiating with the British.

2) http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ I really can’t do better than show that URL.

3) Who shot the serif? If you’re curious about fonts and typography, this is a good place to start learning about them.

4) A Tumblr devoted exclusively to Facebook status updates from people who believe stories from The Onion are real.

5) Autobiography of a vampire (former). This shit is why I’m careful to explain to my son that “non-fiction” doesn’t mean “true.”

6) This is cool: a library in NZ opens a public recording studio.

7) THE LESSER BOOK OF THE VISHANTI: A Companion to the Dr. Strange Comic Books. The spells, artifacts, world-building, and more to the Sorcerer Supreme’s end of the Marvel Universe.

Randomness for 5/24

Standard

1) If this summer’s movie posters told the truth.

2) Patton Oswalt on the Star Wars prequels. Video (but really just audio).

3) This is so friggin’ funny, and it so perfectly encapsulates the utterly irrational gonzo appeal of comic books. Even if you don’t think you’ll be interested in the subject of this article, give it a look: The Greatest Dinosaurs in Comics.

4) A psychopath walks into a room: Can you tell?

5) Life-size baby T-Rex puppet makes kids scream. Video. This is awesome!

6) Tom Waits Theme for Iron Man 2 (Rejected). Video. Best comment on this video: “Quite obviously fake.”

7) Jonathan Coulter on being a fluke (or not), new business models, connecting with fans, and being compared to the Snuggie. Lots to think about for everyone who creates entertainment in the modern era.

Getting too comfy.

Standard

My local radio station, KUOW (yes, I’m a member), just sent notice to their usual weather guy that he wouldn’t be appearing on the show Weekday any more. They had him on to talk weather–which he is really, really good at–but had asked him several times not to veer off into other subjects, including Math education, which is something of an important subject for him, since he’s suing the local school district because of their choice of text books. They’ve had him on the air other times to talk about it, but they asked him, during those weather segments, to stick to the weather.

Last week he took it upon himself to “set the record straight” regarding something a previous guest (now off the air) had said about UW admission policies, and the Weekday folks told him enough was enough and he wouldn’t be a guest any more.

There is a predictable minor outrage among listeners, including Facebook pages to “like” and letters to sign, and they hosted a call-in discussion about it on a different show this afternoon.

What so many of those callers didn’t seem to understand is that, when a news show covers a topic like Math education (or whatever) they will often try to have opposing viewpoints. If a regular guest continues to offer one side of an argument without the other side having a chance to present their case, it starts to look like the station is taking sides. They don’t want that.

It sounds to me as if Mass became so comfortable in his role on the station that he felt free to offer up whatever opinions he has that seem relevant. He was warned not to do it, didn’t listen, and now he’s not going to be on the air. I don’t see what the big deal is.

Loving Superman and *Loving* Superman

Standard

A discussion popped up recently over this video:

For those who don’t want to click, (and you probably don’t because that video is equal parts hilarious and creepy) it’s a clip from the series finale of Smallville, in which Clark Kent finally gets his Superman suit, flies, saves Lois, and saves the world. And while that plays, the guy watching offers his quite vocal… “enthusiasm” for the show.

Actually, it sounds like he’s masturbating, shouting “YES! YES! YES!” several times, and “Do it right! Do it right!” and “AMERICA!” and generally having a really, really intense sexual experience. I suspect that, if the camera had been pointed the other way, he would have had to post the video on YouP*rn instead of YouTube.

I linked to it in a “Boy, people sure can be creepy!” sort of way, but several people responded by saying stuff like “What’s wrong with a little extra happiness in the world?” and “I think it’s great that he’s enjoying the show, and what’s wrong with that?” I haven’t quite figured out if it doesn’t register as a stroke video to them, or if they think audible orgasms to shitty TV shows are part of the wonder and joy of the human existence, or what.

Still, I think it’s creepy and a little funny. I hope the actors never see it. I do wonder if the guy taped this with his pants pulled up and zipped tight, not realizing how it would sound. His bio says he’s a devout Christian, so maybe he…

Ah, who knows. Anyway, I think it’s pathetic and funny and extremely creepy to post “fan love” audio online.

5/21: Blog like the Rapture is Happening Day

Standard

Remember to blog and/or tweet as though the Rapture is happening this Saturday.

My “Judgement Day” Plan for 5/21

Standard

Okay you guys, here’s the plan. There are all sorts of people out there convinced that the Rapture will occur on May 21st, because that’s supposed to be Judgement Day. Weirdly, Judgement “Day” supposedly lasts for, like, five months, but never mind that. I have an idea.

Instead of letting yet another “Absolutely true this is the honest deal for reals” pseudo-Apocalypse pass with business as usual–except for the eye-rolling–we should have fun.

That’s why, at about noon PST on 5/21, I plan to be on Twitter. These are the tweets I’ll make:

  • My wife says she hears someone playing trumpets, but I can’t hear a thing. All that exercise is rotting her brain.
  • HOLY SHIT, SHE JUST VANISHED IN FRONT OF ME!
  • WHAT’S GOING ON??? MY WIFE JUST DISAPPEARED LIKE OBI WAN KENOBI! HER EMPTY CLOTHES COLLAPSED ON THE FLOOR!
  • WHERE’S MY SON!
  • My son has vanished, too! WHERE’S MY SON! WHAT’S GOING ON!! I gotta figure this out!

With the perfect delay between tweets, it’ll seem like the Rapture is really happening.

You should do this, too! If enough people on Twitter and LiveJournal and Facebook post that their loved ones have suddenly vanished (or their Muslim co-worker or Jewish Grandma) it will seem like the Rapture really is happening, and the people wearing those “Judgement Day” T-shirts weren’t chosen to go.

Maybe you can Instagram a set of clothes on the floor of your office, or an empty car up on a lawn.

So! May 21st, noon PST! Remember.

Randomness for 5/12

Standard

1) Sci-fi IKEA manuals.

2) The first five Harry Potter novels abbreviated in comic form.

3) Since when did diligence become a psychiatric disorder?

4) Japanese TV show pranks a man with a haunted mirror. Video. I’m a bad person for laughing as hard as I did, especially after things got crazy. Be sure to watch the whole thing.

5) TV writer Doris Egan on The Moment They Figure It Out: open and closed plot structures, realization, and turning points, with a little Doctor Who thrown in for good measure.

6) “I will tell you a secret to make you stand out.”

7) “Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says” Oh god, for once, read the comments on this “article.” Let’s be CLEAR this is not a VADER victory but a victory of our boys in white, not to mention the leadership of Lord Tyrannus the Count Dooku who started the manhunt in the first place. LOL via Jay Lake